Making mMoney or fFollowing oOur hHearts? Making Money or Following Our Hearts?

Titles should be properly capitalized.

People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can what they can pursue in their community. People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can pursue in their community.

People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can what they can pursue in the community. People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can pursue in the community.

I believe that youngsters should find a balance point between making a fortune and their passion for a particular field. I believe that youngsters should find a balance between making a fortune and their passion for a particular field.

I believe that youngsters people should find a balance point between making a fortungood income and their passion for a particular field. I believe that young people should find a balance between making a good income and their passion for a particular field.

"To make a fortune," is an expression that means one is making millions of dollars. In this context, I think something like, "making a good income" makes more sense. I also swapped "youngsters" for "young people". "Youngsters" isn't incorrect, but it's an archaic term that nobody uses in serious contexts.

There are various reasons why people argue that young people should engage inaim for high-paid jobs. There are various reasons why people argue that young people should aim for high-paid jobs.

I don't think "engage" is technically incorrect here, but it sounds a little clunky.

They may assert that some popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial than some art-related jobs. They may assert that some popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial than art-related jobs.

Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to development of some certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, hence the prosperity of the society. Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to development of some certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, hence the prosperity of society.

Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to the development of some certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, h. Hence, the prosperity of the society. Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to the development of certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits. Hence, the prosperity of society.

The use of "hence" (synonymous with "therefore") sounds a bit clunky here. Separating it into a new sentence works better, but carries a particular change in the rhythm of the writing, making it sound more certain. If you want it to sound a bit more neutral, you could reword it as, "[...] which facilitate more investment and profits, benefiting greater society." Either one is fine. Besides that, I removed "the" before "society" because you're talking about society as a whole, not one specific society.

Sometimes they need to attempt to finding their own paths needs attempts. Sometimes they need to attempt to find their own path.

Original phrasing felt kind of confusing to me, hopefully I haven't misinterpreted it.

Sometimes finding their own paths needs attemptstake trial and error. Sometimes finding their own paths take trial and error.

Even if such an attempt may disappoint them, yet once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding. Even if such an attempt may disappoint them, once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding.

Even if such anone attempt may disappoint them, yet once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding. Even if one attempt may disappoint them, once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding.

Probably each day for them is a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, are grudged as an interruption infrom an absorbing vocation. Probably each day for them is a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, are grudged as an interruption from an absorbing vocation.

Probably eEach day for them ismay feel like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, armay be grudged as an interruption in an absorbing vocation. Each day for them may feel like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, may be grudged as an interruption in an absorbing vocation.

If you start a sentence with a statement of possibility rather than certainty, make sure to maintain that throughout the sentence. If you start with "probably" or "may", be careful not to switch to "are" or "will".

Alternatively, they might never get caught up inworry about lacking money, as long as they do not make comparisone themselves to others. Alternatively, they might never worry about lacking money, as long as they do not compare themselves to others.

Alternativelyso, they might never get caught up in lacking moneyworrying about how much they make, as long as they do not make comparisone themselves to others. Also, they might never get caught up in worrying about how much they make, as long as they do not compare themselves to others.

By 'comparisons', do you mean comparing themselves to others in terms of how much money they make? I've corrected the sentence to fit that meaning. If that's not what you were intending, ignore this! I swapped "alternatively" for "also" because "alternatively" states an option that exists without the other, rather than an additional possibility.