Making mMoney or fFollowing oOur hHearts? Making Money or Following Our Hearts?

Titles should be properly capitalized.

Making money or following our hearts? Making money or following our hearts?

Another possible title: "Make money or follow your heart?"

People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can what they can pursue in their community. People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can pursue in their community.

People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can what they can pursue in the community. People have different views about how much choice the youth should have with respect to which careers they can pursue in the community.

People have different views about how much choice the youthyoung people should have with respect to which careers they can what they can pursue in the community. People have different views about how much choice young people should have with respect to which careers they can what they can pursue in the community.

"The youth" is not incorrect but I don't think it's often used in American English to refer to the group of young people.

People have different views about how much choice the youthyoung people should have with respect to which careers they can whatin which careers they can pursue in the community. People have different views about how much choice young people should have in which careers they can pursue in the community.

"With respect to" is correct, but "in" is conciser, and "to have a choice in/about something" is a commonly-used phrase.

I believe that youngsters should find a balance point between making a fortune and their passion for a particular field. I believe that youngsters should find a balance between making a fortune and their passion for a particular field.

I believe that youngsters people should find a balance point between making a fortungood income and their passion for a particular field. I believe that young people should find a balance between making a good income and their passion for a particular field.

"To make a fortune," is an expression that means one is making millions of dollars. In this context, I think something like, "making a good income" makes more sense. I also swapped "youngsters" for "young people". "Youngsters" isn't incorrect, but it's an archaic term that nobody uses in serious contexts.

I believe that youngsters should find a balance point between making a fortune and their passion for a particular field. I believe that youngsters should find a balance between making a fortune and their passion for a particular field.

Also possible: "strike a balance". Also, if you use the phrase "youngsters", it sounds like you are an older person talking about young people with endearment. If you're going for a more formal tone, or if you are pre-middle-age yourself, this isn't the right word choice.

There are various reasons why people argue that young people should engage inaim for high-paid jobs. There are various reasons why people argue that young people should aim for high-paid jobs.

I don't think "engage" is technically incorrect here, but it sounds a little clunky.

There are various reasons why people argue that young people should engagework in highly-paid jobs. There are various reasons why people argue that young people should work in highly-paid jobs.

There are various reasons why people argue that young people should engage in high-paid jobs. There are various reasons why people argue that young people should engage in high-paid jobs.

Also possible: "high-paying".

They may assert that some popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial than some art-related jobs. They may assert that some popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial than art-related jobs.

They may assert that some popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial to society than some art-related jobs. They may assert that some popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial to society than some art-related jobs.

Does anyone argue that stock brokers are beneficial to society? :P

They may assert that somecertain popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial than some art-relatedartistic jobs. They may assert that certain popular jobs like scientists, stock brokers and programmers are more likely to be beneficial than artistic jobs.

Be beneficial to what/who? Society? The world? It might sound better rephrased as "more likely to benefit society" or "more beneficial to society". An alternative to "artistic jobs" is "a career in the arts".

From a personal perspective, it can be argued that these occupationcareers provide more job opportunities, job security, and therefore improved quality of life. From a personal perspective, it can be argued that these careers provide more job opportunities, job security, and therefore improved quality of life.

From a personal perspective, it can be argued that these occupations provide more job opportunities, better job security and therefore improvedhigher quality of life. From a personal perspective, it can be argued that these occupations provide more job opportunities, better job security and therefore higher quality of life.

Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to development of some certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, hence the prosperity of the society. Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to development of some certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, hence the prosperity of society.

Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to the development of some certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, h. Hence, the prosperity of the society. Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leads to the development of certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits. Hence, the prosperity of society.

The use of "hence" (synonymous with "therefore") sounds a bit clunky here. Separating it into a new sentence works better, but carries a particular change in the rhythm of the writing, making it sound more certain. If you want it to sound a bit more neutral, you could reword it as, "[...] which facilitate more investment and profits, benefiting greater society." Either one is fine. Besides that, I removed "the" before "society" because you're talking about society as a whole, not one specific society.

Moreover, the focus on these well-paidying jobs leads to development of some certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, hence the prosperity of the society. Moreover, the focus on these well-paying jobs leads to development of certain technological companies, which facilitate more investment and profits, hence the prosperity of society.

Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs leadincreases tohe development of some certain technological companies, which facilitates more investment and greater profits, hence the prosperity of the societymaking society more prosperous. Moreover, the focus on these well-paid jobs increases the development of certain tech companies, which facilitates more investment and greater profits, making society more prosperous.

In spite of these arguments, I believe young people should be areentitled to choose their preferred areas. In spite of these arguments, I believe young people areentitled to choose their preferred areas.

In spite of these arguments, I believe young people should be entitled to choose their preferred areas. In spite of these arguments, I believe young people should be entitled to choose their preferred areas.

More descriptive words than "area" might include "career path" or "field of study".

Sometimes they need to attempt to finding their own paths needs attempts. Sometimes they need to attempt to find their own path.

Original phrasing felt kind of confusing to me, hopefully I haven't misinterpreted it.

Sometimes finding their own paths needs attemptstake trial and error. Sometimes finding their own paths take trial and error.

Sometimes it takes a while to finding their own paths needs attempts. Sometimes it takes a while to find their own path.

Sometimes it takes time to finding their own paths needs attemptsway. Sometimes it takes time to find their own way.

Even if such an attempt may disappoint them, yet once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding. Even if such an attempt may disappoint them, once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding.

Even if such anone attempt may disappoint them, yet once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding. Even if one attempt may disappoint them, once they enter a field they are truly avid for, the result will be rewarding.

Even ifAlthough such an attempts may disappoint them, yet once they enter a field they are truly avid forpassionate about, the result will be rewarding. Although such attempts may disappoint them, once they enter a field they are truly passionate about, the result will be rewarding.

Even if sueach an attempt mayis disappoint them, yeting, once they enter a field they are truly avid forpassionate about, the result will be rewarding. Even if each attempt is disappointing, once they enter a field they are truly passionate about, the result will be rewarding.

"Passionate" is more common and natural-sounding than "avid", especially in the context of choosing a career. Another possible ending: "..., it will all be worth it." or "..., it will all pay off."

Probably each day for them is a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, are grudged as an interruption infrom an absorbing vocation. Probably each day for them is a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, are grudged as an interruption from an absorbing vocation.

Probably eEach day for them ismay feel like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, armay be grudged as an interruption in an absorbing vocation. Each day for them may feel like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, may be grudged as an interruption in an absorbing vocation.

If you start a sentence with a statement of possibility rather than certainty, make sure to maintain that throughout the sentence. If you start with "probably" or "may", be careful not to switch to "are" or "will".

Probably eEach day for them iswill probably be like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, are begrudged as an interruption inof an absorbing vocation. Each day for them will probably be like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, are begrudged as an interruption of an absorbing vocation.

Probably eEach day for them iswill probably feel like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, arwill be grudgingly tolerated as an interruption infrom an absorbing vocation. Each day for them will probably feel like a holiday, and ordinary holidays, when they come, will be grudgingly tolerated as an interruption from an absorbing vocation.

Alternatively, they might never get caught up inworry about lacking money, as long as they do not make comparisone themselves to others. Alternatively, they might never worry about lacking money, as long as they do not compare themselves to others.

Alternativelyso, they might never get caught up in lacking moneyworrying about how much they make, as long as they do not make comparisone themselves to others. Also, they might never get caught up in worrying about how much they make, as long as they do not compare themselves to others.

By 'comparisons', do you mean comparing themselves to others in terms of how much money they make? I've corrected the sentence to fit that meaning. If that's not what you were intending, ignore this! I swapped "alternatively" for "also" because "alternatively" states an option that exists without the other, rather than an additional possibility.

Alternatively, they might never get caught up in lacking moneyrealize the money they're missing as long as they do not make comparisons. Alternatively, they might never realize the money they're missing as long as they do not make comparisons.

Alternatively, they might never get caught up in lacking money as long as they do not make comparisons. Alternatively, they might never get caught up in lacking money as long as they do not make comparisons.

It's unclear what you mean here. When you say "making comparisons", are you talking about feeling envious due to comparing oneself with people in higher-paying jobs who have more money? If so, you need a different phrase than "lacking money", because envying wealthier people does not CAUSE them to lack money (but it might cause them to feel insecure, like they don't have enough money in comparison to others). "As long as" suggests that "making comparisons" would cause them to "lack money". You might also consider the phrase "wanting for money".

How many of us can say that we are not envious of their passion for their businesscareer? How many of us can say that we are not envious of their passion for their career?

How many of us can say that we are non't envious of theirsuch peoples' passions for their businesjobs? How many of us can say that we aren't envious of such peoples' passions for their jobs?