March 23, 2024
you can do anything you can dream of
Faced the wall, my mood was conflict, which had the crave to the home and the fear to the wall. The first reason of the fear I have mentioned in the previous article, Second and even more important was the obesity of mine made me think I can't believe I can do anything link to sport, such as running, rope skipping, etc. I never met requirement about these sports. And scaling the wall was obviously involved to the sports in my mind. He seemed to perceive my thought and said," It was disgrace to give up if you even hadn't tried it". Consequently, I dipped my toes in pressing my foot on the support point of the wall and gripped the handrail. My eyes followed the ground and I wondered "It was so high, could I succeed? when I prepared for madding further efforts, Suddenly I felt terrified that heard the sound of walking and stopped the action.
Finally, I failed.
yYou can do anything you can dream of.
FHaving faced the wall, my mood was conflicted, which had themeant that I was craveing to thego home and thealso was fear toing the wall.
The first reason of the fear I have mentioned in the previous article, Second and even more important was themy obesity of mine. It made me think I can't believe I canthat I couldn't do anything linkrelated to sports, such as running, rope skipping, etc.
I never met requirement aboutof these sports.
And scaling the wall was obviously involved to the sports in my mind.
HeIn my mine I seemed to perceive my thought and said," It was disgrace to give up if you even hadn't tried it".
Consequently, I dipped my toes in pressing my foot on the support point of the wall and gripped the handrail.
My eyes followed the ground and I wondered "It was so high, could I succeed?
when I prepared for madding further efforts, Suddenly I felt terrified that heard the sound of walking and stopped the action.
Finally, I failed.
yYou can do anything you can dream of
Titles usually capitalize the beginning of each word. Since yours is long, you can also choose not to put it in that format, but you should at least capitalize the first word.
Faceding the wall, my mood was conflict, which had the crave to the home and the fear to the walled.
which had the crave to the home and the fear to the wall -> I can't tell what you are trying to express here
The first reason of themy fear I havewas mentioned in themy previous article, S. The second and even more importantpressing was themy obesity of mine, which made me think I can't believe I can't do anything linkrelated to sports, such as running, rope skipping, etc.
I never met the requirement abouts for these sports.
And, in my mind, scaling the wall was obviously involvrelated to the sports in my mind.
He seemed to perceive my thoughts and said," It wasis a disgrace to give up if you ehaven hadn't't even tried it"."
ConsequentlyTherefore, I dipped my toes in, pressing my foot on the support point of the wall and gripped the handrail.
My eyes followed the ground and I wondered, "It was so high, could I succeed?
when I was prepared for maddinging to make further efforts, SI suddenly I felt terrified thatbecause I heard the sound of walking and stopped themy actions.
FinallyIn the end, I failed.
yYou cCan dDo aAnything yYou cCan dDream oOf
Title capitalization rules
FI faced the wall, my mooind was conflict, which had the crave to the home and the fear to the walled. I feared the wall and wanted to go home.
This is far easier to understand
The first reason ofor the fear I havealready mentioned in the previous article, S. The second and even more important reason was theat my obesity of mine/weight made me think I can't believe I can do anything linked to sports, such as running, rope skipping, etc.
Be careful about run-on sentences.
It's more natural for someone (even clearly obese) to refer to their "weight" rather than their "obesity."
"think I can't {believe I can do} X" this bracketed piece should be removed. Alternatively, you could say "made me believe I can't do X." Basically choose to use "think" or "believe," but not both.
I never met the requirement abouts to participate in these sports.
And scaling the wall was obviously involved to withe sports in my mind.
[He] seemed to perceive my thought and said," It wa's disgraceful to give up if you even hadn't tried it"."
Who is he? Before referring to he/her/them in your text or conversation, you need to introduce them. For example, "[The man] seemed... "[ My coach] seemed..."
The man's quote was from in the moment, so use the present "It is" not "It was."
Consequently, I dipped my toes in pressinged my foot on the support point of the wall and gripped the handrail.
No need for "dipped my toes in" here as it doesn't fit your text.
We say that we dip our toes in something in either the literal sense: "At the pool, I dipped my toes in the water." Or in the figurative sense, "I dipped my toes into horseback riding." The figurative meaning is a direct reference to the literal meaning, because for example we might carefully dip our toes into water to check we are okay with the temperature before fully submerging into the water.
My eyes followed the ground and I wondered, "It wa's so high, could I succeed?/make it?"
You're describing your thought in the moment, so the quote needs to be in present tense. We often use the word "make it" in the sense of succeed at something.
wWhen I prepared for maddking further efforts, SI suddenly I felt terrified thatby hearding the sound of walking and stopped the action.
Finally, I failed.
Feedback
Good job.
What you're describing isn't easy. It's much harder to overcome a challenge when you have the additional pressure of an instructor and other spectators around.
March 23, 2024
you are careful about my article, and your explanations are so comprehensive and useful, I wish you can do anything you dream of.
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I never met requirement about these sports. I never met the requirement I never met the requirement I never met requirement |
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And scaling the wall was obviously involved to the sports in my mind. And scaling the wall was obviously involved And, in my mind, scaling the wall was obviously This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He seemed to perceive my thought and said," It was disgrace to give up if you even hadn't tried it". [He] seemed to perceive my thought and said," It Who is he? Before referring to he/her/them in your text or conversation, you need to introduce them. For example, "[The man] seemed... "[ My coach] seemed..." The man's quote was from in the moment, so use the present "It is" not "It was." He seemed to perceive my thoughts and said,"
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Finally, I failed. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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you can do anything you can dream of
Title capitalization rules
Titles usually capitalize the beginning of each word. Since yours is long, you can also choose not to put it in that format, but you should at least capitalize the first word.
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Faced the wall, my mood was conflict, which had the crave to the home and the fear to the wall.
This is far easier to understand Fac which had the crave to the home and the fear to the wall -> I can't tell what you are trying to express here
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The first reason of the fear I have mentioned in the previous article, Second and even more important was the obesity of mine made me think I can't believe I can do anything link to sport, such as running, rope skipping, etc. The first reason Be careful about run-on sentences. It's more natural for someone (even clearly obese) to refer to their "weight" rather than their "obesity." "think I can't {believe I can do} X" this bracketed piece should be removed. Alternatively, you could say "made me believe I can't do X." Basically choose to use "think" or "believe," but not both. The first reason of The first reason of the fear I have mentioned in the previous article, Second and even more important was |
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Consequently, I dipped my toes in pressing my foot on the support point of the wall and gripped the handrail. Consequently, I No need for "dipped my toes in" here as it doesn't fit your text. We say that we dip our toes in something in either the literal sense: "At the pool, I dipped my toes in the water." Or in the figurative sense, "I dipped my toes into horseback riding." The figurative meaning is a direct reference to the literal meaning, because for example we might carefully dip our toes into water to check we are okay with the temperature before fully submerging into the water.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My eyes followed the ground and I wondered "It was so high, could I succeed? My eyes followed the ground and I wondered, "It You're describing your thought in the moment, so the quote needs to be in present tense. We often use the word "make it" in the sense of succeed at something. My eyes followed the ground and I wondered, "It was so high, could I succeed? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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when I prepared for madding further efforts, Suddenly I felt terrified that heard the sound of walking and stopped the action.
when I was prepar This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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