March 13, 2022
Yanni Concert
May 10 years ago, I went to a Yanni concert.
He is well known composer of new age genre and his songs are used as background music on TV advertisements when I was young.
When I arrive at the concert hall, it was full of people already there.
One of my favorite parts of his concert was the introduction of the each musicians.
He has his own orchestra team, and the musicians were great as well.
After finishing the concert, I was full of joy.
If I have another chance of his concert, I look forward to going again.
May 10Ten years ago in May, I went to a Yanni concert.
He is well -known composer of the new age genre, and his songs awere used as background music on TV advertisements when I was young.
when I was young = past tense
When I arrived at the concert hall, it was full of people already there.
One of my favorite parts of his concert was the introduction of the each musicians.
He has his own orchestra team, and theose / its musicians were great as well.
"the musicians" makes it sound like it's not the same as the orchestra team
If I have another chance of his concert, I look forwardto go to a concert of his, I would love to going again.
"look forward" implies it's already scheduled
March 14, 2022
Thank you very much.
Yanni Concert
May(About/around) 10 years ago, I went to a Yanni concert.
He is a well -known composer of the new age genre and his songs awere used as background music on TV advertisements when I was young.
You would use "were" as it is in the past tense
When I arrived at the concert hall, it was full of people (who were already there).
One of my favourite parts of his concert was the introduction of the each musicians.
He has his own orchestra team, and the musicians were great as well.
"Team" isn't needed as the word "orchestra" shows that it is a big group of people playing instruments together
After finishing the concert finished, I was full of joy.
"Full of joy" isn't incorrect but it would be more natural to say "I was really happy" or "I was ecstatic"
If I have anod ther chance to go to one of his concert, I look forward to going agains again, I would go.
Feedback
Very good writing :)
March 14, 2022
Thank you very much.
|
Yanni Concert This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
May 10 years ago, I went to a Yanni concert.
|
|
He is well known composer of new age genre and his songs are used as background music on TV advertisements when I was young. He is a well You would use "were" as it is in the past tense He is well when I was young = past tense |
|
When I arrive at the concert hall, it was full of people already there. When I arrived at the concert hall, it was full of people (who were already there). When I arrived at the concert hall, it was full of people already there. |
|
One of my favorite parts of his concert was the introduction of the each musicians. One of my favourite parts of his concert was the introduction of One of my favorite parts of his concert was the introduction of |
|
He has his own orchestra team, and the musicians were great as well. He has his own orchestra "Team" isn't needed as the word "orchestra" shows that it is a big group of people playing instruments together He has his own orchestra team, and th "the musicians" makes it sound like it's not the same as the orchestra team |
|
After finishing the concert, I was full of joy. After "Full of joy" isn't incorrect but it would be more natural to say "I was really happy" or "I was ecstatic" |
|
If I have another chance of his concert, I look forward to going again. If I ha If I have another chance "look forward" implies it's already scheduled |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium