Jack's avatar
Jack

Dec. 21, 2021

3
Writing Practice

My ideal life is to be born in a mediated wealthy family and my parents treat each other nicely. During my childhood, I had enough time to play with my fellow children and without a lot of worries. When I was in elementary school and high school, I studied hard and could get a good grade so that I could be admitted to a famous university. While I am growing up, my parents can give me a good education. I can get a decent job and a nice salary and the work is not so busy and does not involve lots of pressure and stress. I can afford a decent car and a house. Also, I can marry a nice woman and not scold me all the time. I also want to have certain savings to deal with some unexpected issues. If possible, I want to retire at the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then. I also want to have a long life span and stay healthy because I hate illness. Of course, I will die, but die from age, not from disease. I think my request is not high, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.

Corrections

Writing Practice

MIn my ideal life is to, I would be born into a medioderatedly wealthy family andwhere my parents treat each other nicwelyl.

During my childhood, I would have had enough time to play with my fellow children and, without a lot oftoo many worries.

I'm using "would" in all of these sentences because this is all a hypothetical situation.

When I was'd go in elementary school and high school, I would studiedy hard and could get a good grades so that I could be admitted to a famous university.

WhileAs I am would growing up, my parents canwould be able to give me a good education.

I canould get a decent job and a nice salary, and the work is not so busy and does nowouldn't not too hectic, nor would it involve lots of pressure and stress.

I canwould be able to afford a decent car and a house.

Also, I canwould also marry a nice woman and nowho wouldn't scold me all the time.

I also want to have certainsome savings to deal with some unexpected issues.

"certain" would be used if out of all savings in existence, you wanted *that* *certain* amount of savings (hehe). "some" would fit here better.

If possible, I want to retire atby the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then.

I also want to halive a long life span and stay healthy, because I hate illnesses.

"illnesses" is plural here because you're saying something generally. You hate *all* illnesses, in *general*.

Of course, I will die, but diue fromto age, not from disease.

I think my request is not highnone of that is too much to ask for, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.

Feedback

Nice writing practice, as always :)
That is indeed a very nice ideal life which you've described.

Jack's avatar
Jack

Dec. 22, 2021

3

Thank you very much for correcting my journals and giving me that much detailed explanations. Thank you very much.

Writing Practice


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My ideal life is to be born in a mediated wealthy family and my parents treat each other nicely.


MIn my ideal life is to, I would be born into a medioderatedly wealthy family andwhere my parents treat each other nicwelyl.

During my childhood, I had enough time to play with my fellow children and without a lot of worries.


During my childhood, I would have had enough time to play with my fellow children and, without a lot oftoo many worries.

I'm using "would" in all of these sentences because this is all a hypothetical situation.

When I was in elementary school and high school, I studied hard and could get a good grade so that I could be admitted to a famous university.


When I was'd go in elementary school and high school, I would studiedy hard and could get a good grades so that I could be admitted to a famous university.

While I am growing up, my parents can give me a good education.


WhileAs I am would growing up, my parents canwould be able to give me a good education.

I can get a decent job and a nice salary and the work is not so busy and does not involve lots of pressure and stress.


I canould get a decent job and a nice salary, and the work is not so busy and does nowouldn't not too hectic, nor would it involve lots of pressure and stress.

I can afford a decent car and a house.


I canwould be able to afford a decent car and a house.

Also, I can marry a nice woman and not scold me all the time.


Also, I canwould also marry a nice woman and nowho wouldn't scold me all the time.

I also want to have certain savings to deal with some unexpected issues.


I also want to have certainsome savings to deal with some unexpected issues.

"certain" would be used if out of all savings in existence, you wanted *that* *certain* amount of savings (hehe). "some" would fit here better.

If possible, I want to retire at the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then.


If possible, I want to retire atby the age of fifty and have enough money for me to travel by then.

I also want to have a long life span and stay healthy because I hate illness.


I also want to halive a long life span and stay healthy, because I hate illnesses.

"illnesses" is plural here because you're saying something generally. You hate *all* illnesses, in *general*.

Of course, I will die, but die from age, not from disease.


Of course, I will die, but diue fromto age, not from disease.

I think my request is not high, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.


I think my request is not highnone of that is too much to ask for, and I hope all my ideal life can come true.

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