Demons fFrom the pPast

In titles, generally, every word should be capitalized besides articles.

«In my entir"My whole life, there was's been a question that's bothered me more and more whilas the years have passed: did I really deserved a redemption?»."

Dialogue and quotes should use quotation marks. English doesn't use « » marks unless it is a specific stylistic choice.

"I don’t know, but it sticks inside my mind like glue and I can’t get rid of it.,"

If this is part of the dialogue, it should be included in the previous quotation. Make sure to end quotes with a comma instead of a period.

– S*said Starlight ands she lay on a patch of grass;

* Like this: "[dialogue]," said Starlight [...]

Iit was a little bit itchy, but bearable.

Good use of semi-colon, second clause shouldn't be capitalized.

«"Of course, they didn’t forget what I did in the past, or how like ait was torture it was to live under my control, but I shouldn’t give up, I need to make it up forto them, they deserve it.»"

I just want to note that this is a run-on sentence. In a literary context, it makes the character sound like everything they're saying is spilling out at once, as though they're stressed. If that's not the intention, I'd swap some of the commas for periods, but if that's how you want it to sound, then it works.

These thoughts wasere like a pile of bags which suddenly dropped on her shoulders*, but she didn’t try to get rid of ithem; she got used to it, itthem. They felt as much common as to caught ahe suspicious glances she'd catch from ponies in Ponyville….

*I corrected this sentence to be grammatically correct, but it sounds clunky as is. I'd phrase it as, "These thoughts weighed heavily on her shoulders".

Thousands of stars which laid on a blanket –ed the sky, then, one of them started falling.

Starlight didn’t know if it was it some kind of sign from the universe, or if it was just coincidence, but now it didn’t matter.