May 28, 2020
I would travel somewhere, to Europe or to India maybe, or I would buy an excellent touring bicycle, and go to a trip around the continent to see all parts of my country, and to visit our neighbor countries like Russia, Ukraine and other post-soviet republics.
For my work, I would buy a Macbook, since it allows to create apps for iOS, which is impossible on the other laptops. It would be nice to have another powerful laptop to create different programming stuff.
An appartment for myself in our capital, Nur-Sultan, since it's a growing city and has lots of opportunities. I didn't consider about moving to another country, but who knows. Why not, if you have enough money to do so.
I would buy many books on programming, and also donate some to the people from whom I learnt, and whose programms I used to make my study and work easier.
And, finally, I would help my relatives, my younger cousins, if they want to go study abroad, or to fulfill their dream of becoming an artist, a musician, a scientist or whoever they want to become.
What I Would I Do if I Won a Lot of Money
I would travel somewhere, to Europe or to India maybe, or I would buy an excellent touring bicycle, and go ton a trip around the continent to see allevery parts of my country, and to visit our neighboring countries like Russia, Ukraine and other post-former soviet republics.
The comma after "go on a trip" indicates that visiting FSU countries is an item separate from "go on a trip around the continent." It could work either way, conceptually speaking, but since you wrote "and go on a trip," "visit neighboring countries" must be part of the same item as "go on a trip."
For my work, I would buy a MacbBook, since it allows towould let me create apps for iOS, which is impossible on the other laptops.
It would be nice to have another powerful laptop to create different programming stuffprojects.
"Programming stuff" as a phrasal noun is not idiomatic.
AI would also get an appartment for myself in our capital, Nur-Sultan, since it's a growing city and has lots of opportunities.
I diwouldn't consider about moving to another country, but who knows.
Why not, if you have enough money to do so.?
I would buy many books on programming, and also donate some to the people from whom I learnt, and whose programms I used to make my study and work easier.
And, finally, I would help my relatives, especially my younger cousins, if they want to go study abroad, or to fulfill their dreams of becoming an artists, a musicians, a scientists or whoatever they want to become.
No comma because the "or" structure only has two components, "study abroad" and "fulfill their dream."
What Would I Do if I Won a Lot of Money?
If you want the title to be a statement, you'd write "What I Would Do if I Won a Lot of Money"
I would travel somewhere, to such as Europe or to India maybe, or I would buy an excellent touring bicycle, and go to a trip around the continent to see all parts of my country, and tos well as visit ourthe neighboring countries like Russia, Ukraine, and other post-sSoviet republics.
For my work, I would buy a Macbook, since it allows you to create apps for iOS, which is impossible on the other laptops.
It would be nice to have another powerful laptop to create different programming stuffprojects/products.
"Stuff" sounds a bit too casual in this context.
AI would also buy/rent an appartment for myself in ourthe capital, Nur-Sultan, since it's a growing city and has lots of opportunities.
"Our" makes it sound like everyone on this website lives in Kazakhstan. One would generally just use "the".
The sentence needed a transition in the beginning because both clauses are dependent (they don't have a subject).
I diwouldn't consider about moving to another country, but who knows.?
"Didn't" implies that you already won a lot of money in the past. "Wouldn't" implies that, if given the change, you still would not.
Why not, if you have enough money to do so.?
I would buy many books on programming, and also donate some(?) to the people from whom I learnt,ed from and whose programms I used to make my studying and work easier.
"Some" is a bit confusing in the sentence. It could refer to either the money you won or the programming books you would buy. I suggest replacing it with a more specific noun.
And, finally, I would help my relatives, particularly my younger cousins, if they want to go study abroad, or to fulfill their dream of becoming an artist, a musician, a scientist, or whoatever they want to become.
Feedback
Good job with your writing!
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What Would I Do if I Won a Lot of Money What Would I Do if I Won a Lot of Money? If you want the title to be a statement, you'd write "What I Would Do if I Won a Lot of Money" What I Would |
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I would travel somewhere, to Europe or to India maybe, or I would buy an excellent touring bicycle, and go to a trip around the continent to see all parts of my country, and to visit our neighbor countries like Russia, Ukraine and other post-soviet republics. I would travel somewhere I would travel somewhere, to Europe or to India maybe, or I would buy an excellent touring bicycle, and go The comma after "go on a trip" indicates that visiting FSU countries is an item separate from "go on a trip around the continent." It could work either way, conceptually speaking, but since you wrote "and go on a trip," "visit neighboring countries" must be part of the same item as "go on a trip." |
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For my work, I would buy a Macbook, since it allows to create apps for iOS, which is impossible on the other laptops. For my work, I would buy a Macbook, since it allows you to create apps for iOS, which is impossible on For my work, I would buy a Mac |
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It would be nice to have another powerful laptop to create different programming stuff. It would be nice to have another powerful laptop to create different programming "Stuff" sounds a bit too casual in this context. It would be nice to have another powerful laptop to create different programming "Programming stuff" as a phrasal noun is not idiomatic. |
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An appartment for myself in our capital, Nur-Sultan, since it's a growing city and has lots of opportunities.
"Our" makes it sound like everyone on this website lives in Kazakhstan. One would generally just use "the". The sentence needed a transition in the beginning because both clauses are dependent (they don't have a subject).
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I didn't consider about moving to another country, but who knows. I "Didn't" implies that you already won a lot of money in the past. "Wouldn't" implies that, if given the change, you still would not. I |
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Why not, if you have enough money to do so. Why not, if you have enough money to do so Why not, if you have enough money to do so |
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I would buy many books on programming, and also donate some to the people from whom I learnt, and whose programms I used to make my study and work easier. I would buy many books on programming "Some" is a bit confusing in the sentence. It could refer to either the money you won or the programming books you would buy. I suggest replacing it with a more specific noun. I would buy many books on programming, and also donate some to the people from whom I learnt, and whose program |
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And, finally, I would help my relatives, my younger cousins, if they want to go study abroad, or to fulfill their dream of becoming an artist, a musician, a scientist or whoever they want to become. And And, finally, I would help my relatives, especially my younger cousins, if they want to No comma because the "or" structure only has two components, "study abroad" and "fulfill their dream." |
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