June 4, 2023
What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear is a crowd.
I don't like being in the middle of a crowd. I'm faced with it every day.
For example, when you go to school or to work. You can meet many people. Transport like bus or tram can be hard. If you take on tram at 7:30am to college, generally there is always many people.
Because of that, I take on bus around 7:20am even if I’ll start my class at 8am and just have 6 minute of bus. There are only a few people. Then, I’ve often faced my large class of students. I control my phobia in public, my technique is to divert my brain. I read a book, listen to music or whisper with my friend. (I can keep up with my lesson at the same time, don’t worry). Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I’m still tired and and I'm gonna take a nap.
To face his biggest fear, it's a good way to learn to control it. It’s hard, yeah but if you want to grow up and to process in your life. I think you also have to learn to control your fears.
My biggest fear is a crowds.
We say "fear of crowds" rather than "fear of a crowd"
I don't like being in the middle of a crowd.
I'm faced with it every day.
For example, when you go to school or to work.
You can meet many people.
Transport like buses or trams can be hard.
If you take onthe tram at 7:30am to (go to) college, generally there isare always many people / there are usually a lot of people.
Take the/a [transport]
Because of that, I take onthe bus around 7:20am even if I’ll start my class at 8am and just/only have to travel on the bus for 6 minute of bus.
TAt that time, there are only a few people.
To make it sound smoother
IMy technique to control my phobia in public, my technique is to divert my brain (towards something else).
I read a book, listen to music or whisper with my friend.
(I can keep up with my lesson at the same time, don’t worry).
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I’m still tired and and I'm gonna have to take a nap.
"I'm gonna" makes it sound like you're going to take a nap after you finish writing this text.
To face hisyour biggest fear, it's a good way to learn to control it. / Facing your biggest fear(s) is a good way to learn to control it.
It’s hard, yeah, but if you want to grow up and to procgress in your life, then I think you also have to learn to control your fears.
Combining this sentence with the one after because this is an incomplete sentence.
What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear is a crowd.
I don't like being in the middle of a crowd.
I'm faced with it every day.
For example, when you go to school or to work.
You can meet many people.
Transport like buses or trams can be hard.
If you take ona tram at 7:30am to college, generally there is always manya lot of people.
Because of that, I take ona bus around 7:20am even if I’ll start my class starts at 8am and just have 6 minute of bus.travel time.
There are only a fewer people.
Then, I’ve often faced my large classes of students.
More general, less possessive
I control my phobia in public, my technique is to divert my brain.
I read a book, listen to music or whispertalk quietly with my friend.
(I can keep up with my lesson at the same time, don’t worry).
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I’m still tired and and I'm gonnaI need to take a nap.
To face hisyour biggest fear, it's a good way is to learn to control it.
It’s hard, yeah but if you want to grow up and to procgress in your life.
Feedback
This is a good description of fears. The corrections are very small and mostly to sound more naturally English. There were a couple of small mistakes for plurals, spelling and pronouns.
June 4, 2023
Thank you for your correction :D
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What is your biggest fear? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My biggest fear is a crowd. This sentence has been marked as perfect! My biggest fear is We say "fear of crowds" rather than "fear of a crowd" |
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I don't like being in the middle of a crowd. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I'm faced with it every day. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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For example, when you go to school or to work. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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You can meet many people.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Transport like bus or tram can be hard. Transport like buses or trams can be hard. Transport like buses or trams can be hard. |
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If you take on tram at 7:30am to college, generally there is always many people. If you take If you take Take the/a [transport] |
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Because of that, I take on bus around 7:20am even if I’ll start my class at 8am and just have 6 minute of bus. Because of that, I take Because of that, I take |
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There are only a few people. There are
To make it sound smoother |
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Then, I’ve often faced my large class of students. Then, I’ve often faced More general, less possessive |
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I control my phobia in public, my technique is to divert my brain. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
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I read a book, listen to music or whisper with my friend. I read a book, listen to music or This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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(I can keep up with my lesson at the same time, don’t worry). This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I’m still tired and and I'm gonna take a nap. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I’m still tired and Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I’m still tired and and I "I'm gonna" makes it sound like you're going to take a nap after you finish writing this text. |
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To face his biggest fear, it's a good way to learn to control it. To face To face |
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It’s hard, yeah but if you want to grow up and to process in your life. It’s hard, It’s hard, yeah, but if you want Combining this sentence with the one after because this is an incomplete sentence. |
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I think you also have to learn to control your fears. |
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