Sept. 24, 2020
I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scene was really amazing. Splendid and imposing. Back to my childhood, marriage in the countryside was really simple. It was like an ox-cart with one meal, and some fire crackers were enough. Sometimes, it was even simpler. You just needed a bike to pick the bride up. When I got married, I borrowed an old Shanghai brand car to pick up my wife. At the time, it was even hard to buy a bike. Using a car to pick up the bride was really luxurious, but it seemed everyone got married in this way at that time. Life sucks. When you are young and poor, you can't give your other side what she wants. When you get old and rich to afford those things, she doesn't need them anymore.
The Wedding party
In English, you generally need an article in from of a noun, especially in a title. You are really talking about weddings, and not so much about the wedding party or wedding reception, therefore, I deleted "party"
I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scene was really amazing.
Splendid and imposing.
I would actually combine the two sentences like this: I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scene was really amazing, splendid and imposing.
Back toin my childhood, marriage in the countryside was really simple.
I think it sounds more natural to use "in" instead of "to". "To" implies you were just talking about another time in your life, and now you want to go back to the topic of your childhood.
It was likenough to just have an ox-cart with one, a meal, and some fire crackers were enough.
I'm not sure what you are trying to say about the oxcart and the meal. An oxcart is an inanimate object and cannot have a meal. I changed it according to my guess, but the new sentence may not be what you had in mind.
Sometimes, ithe wedding was even simpler.
Since you have introduced other nouns, when you use "it" again, you need to make it clear what you are talking about. I
You just needed a bike to pick up the bride up.
I probably would use this sentence in the passive form, because the audience does not know who "you" is referring to.
When I got married, I borrowed an old Shanghai brand car to pick up my wife.
This sentence is grammatically correct, but it sounds a bit odd to say an old Shanghai brand car.
At theat time, it was even hard to even buy a bike.; therefore,
U,using a car to pick up the bride was considered really luxurious, but. Now it seems liked everyone got married in this way at that time.is doing it this.
Life sucks.is ironic.
I would never use "sucks" in writing. It is very informal and typically used orally, not in a serious story. Also, in reading the rest of your story, I think ironic is a better word to describe your opinion.
When you are young and poor, you can't give your other sidwife what she wants.
When you getare old and rich enough to afford thosnice things, she doesn't need them anymore.
Feedback
Very good writing.
Wedding party
"Wedding" is a more common term for "wedding party"
I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scenery was really amazing.
Splendid and imposingIt was splendid.
"Imposing" isn't a common word but it is sometimes used in fiction.
Back toIn my childhood, marriage in the countryside was really simple.
Sometimes, it was even simpler.
You just needed a bike to pick the bride up.
At the time, it was even hard to buy a bike.!
Your writing is correct, the exclamation mark just adds more expression.
LBut life sucks.
Your writing makes sense, it flows better this way though.
When you are young and poor, you can't give your other sidepartner what she wants.
Feedback
Great job! Most of my edits are just to help your sentences flow better, but you are very fluent! This was a great piece of writing! :)
Wedding party
I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scenery was really amazing.
"amazing" is already very strong, so you don't need "really".
Splendid and imposing.
Back toin my childhood, marriage in the countryside was really simple.
It was like an ox-cart with onea meal, and some fire crackers were enough.
"a" sounds better than "one".
Sometimes, it was even simpler.
You just needed a bike to pick the bride up.
When I got married, I borrowed an old Shanghai brand car to pick up my wife.
At the time, it was even hard to buy a bike.
Using a car to pick up the bride was reallvery luxurious, but it seemed everyone got married in this way at that time.
You used "really" twice already, so I picked another adverb for you.
Life sucks.
When you are young and poor, you can't give your other sidehalf what she wants.
The saying goes "other half" or "better half".
When you get older, and ricbecome rich enough to afford those things, she doesn't need them anymore.
Feedback
Sometimes it's better to have less so you can appreciate more. Great job!
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Wedding party This sentence has been marked as perfect! Wedding "Wedding" is a more common term for "wedding party" The Wedding In English, you generally need an article in from of a noun, especially in a title. You are really talking about weddings, and not so much about the wedding party or wedding reception, therefore, I deleted "party" |
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I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scene was really amazing. I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scenery was "amazing" is already very strong, so you don't need "really". I attended a wedding This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Splendid and imposing. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
"Imposing" isn't a common word but it is sometimes used in fiction. Splendid and imposing. I would actually combine the two sentences like this: I attended a wedding party at noon, and the scene was really amazing, splendid and imposing. |
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Back to my childhood, marriage in the countryside was really simple. Back
Back I think it sounds more natural to use "in" instead of "to". "To" implies you were just talking about another time in your life, and now you want to go back to the topic of your childhood. |
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It was like an ox-cart with one meal, and some fire crackers were enough. It was like an ox-cart with "a" sounds better than "one". It was I'm not sure what you are trying to say about the oxcart and the meal. An oxcart is an inanimate object and cannot have a meal. I changed it according to my guess, but the new sentence may not be what you had in mind. |
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Sometimes, it was even simpler. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! Sometimes, Since you have introduced other nouns, when you use "it" again, you need to make it clear what you are talking about. I |
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You just needed a bike to pick the bride up. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! You just needed a bike to pick up the bride I probably would use this sentence in the passive form, because the audience does not know who "you" is referring to. |
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When I got married, I borrowed an old Shanghai brand car to pick up my wife. This sentence has been marked as perfect! When I got married, I borrowed an old Shanghai brand car to pick up my wife. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it sounds a bit odd to say an old Shanghai brand car. |
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At the time, it was even hard to buy a bike. This sentence has been marked as perfect! At the time, it was even hard to buy a bike Your writing is correct, the exclamation mark just adds more expression. At th |
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Using a car to pick up the bride was really luxurious, but it seemed everyone got married in this way at that time. Using a car to pick up the bride was You used "really" twice already, so I picked another adverb for you.
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Life sucks. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
Your writing makes sense, it flows better this way though. Life I would never use "sucks" in writing. It is very informal and typically used orally, not in a serious story. Also, in reading the rest of your story, I think ironic is a better word to describe your opinion. |
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When you are young and poor, you can't give your other side what she wants. When you are young and poor, you can't give your other The saying goes "other half" or "better half". When you are young and poor, you can't give your When you are young and poor, you can't give your |
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When you get old and rich to afford those things, she doesn't need them anymore. When you get older, and When you |
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