June 16, 2020
Vocabulary
A kleptocrat is a type of dictator that stuffs his pockets with money diverted from the national budget and lets the population languish.
On top of diverting the money himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family. The gifts are again bought with money stolen from the government's coffers.
When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most noble shops, because they spend money languishly.
They demand frugality from the population while they invite to raucous parties behind high walls.
Ein Kleptokrat ist ein Typ Diktator, der sich mit vom Staatshaushalt abgezweigten Geld die Taschen vollstopft und die Bevölkerung dahinvegetieren lässt.
Zusätzlich dazu, dass er das Geld selbst abzweigt, überschütten seine Untergebenen die Diktatorenfamilie mit teuren Geschenken. Diese Geschenke werden auch mit Geld aus dem Staatssäckel gekauft.
Wenn sie verreisen, sind Kleptokraten und ihre Verwandschaft in den edelsten Geschäften gern gesehene Kunden, weil sie das Geld verschwenderisch ausgeben.
Sie verlangen Genügsamkeit von der Bevölkerung, während sie zu wilden Partys hinter hohen Mauern einladen.
Correction Settings
On top of diverting the money himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family.
The original sentence switches subjects halfway through. In the first half, the subject is the dictator, and in the second half it is the underlings. However, the meaning comes through and I didn't want to get carried away changing things.
The gifts are again bought with money stolen from the government's coffers.
When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most noblexpensive shops, because they spend money languvishly.
When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most expensive shops, because they spend money lavishly.
They demand frugality from the population while they invite tohost raucous parties behind high walls.
They demand frugality from the population while they host raucous parties behind high walls.
Feedback
Very nice! You wrote in a highly entertaining style.
Vocabulary
A kleptocrat is a type of dictator thatwho stuffs his pockets with money diverted from the national budget and lets the population languish.
A kleptocrat is a type of dictator who stuffs his pockets with money diverted from the national budget and lets the population languish.
"Who" is preferred when referring to animate referents.
On top of diverting the money to himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family. On top of diverting the money to himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family.
From a style perspective, I would also rephrase this. "On top of diverting the money to himself" sounds like it could be referring to "the dictator's underlings" and not the dictator himself, although this will still be understood.
The gifts are again bought with money stolen from the government's coffers.
When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most noblexpensive shops, because they spend money languvishly.
When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most expensive shops, because they spend money lavishly.
Possible alternatives:
- sophisticated
- expensive
They demand frugality from the population while they invite to raucous parties behind high walls. They demand frugality from the population while they invite to raucous parties behind high walls.
"Invite" needs a subject here, but I am having trouble finding it in the German original as well.
June 16, 2020
On top of diverting the money to himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family.
From a style perspective, I would also rephrase this. "On top of diverting the money to himself" sounds like it could be referring to "the dictator's underlings" and not the dictator himself, although this will still be understood.
What I wanted to say is: on the one hand, it's the dictator personally who grabs the money, but at the same time it's also the officials who steal, but some of the money stolen by the officials end up in the dictator's family's pockets.
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Vocabulary This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A kleptocrat is a type of dictator that stuffs his pockets with money diverted from the national budget and lets the population languish.
A kleptocrat is a type of dictator "Who" is preferred when referring to animate referents. |
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On top of diverting the money himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family. On top of diverting the money to himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family. On top of diverting the money to himself, the dictator's underlings lavish large amounts of expensive gifts on the dictator's family. From a style perspective, I would also rephrase this. "On top of diverting the money to himself" sounds like it could be referring to "the dictator's underlings" and not the dictator himself, although this will still be understood.
The original sentence switches subjects halfway through. In the first half, the subject is the dictator, and in the second half it is the underlings. However, the meaning comes through and I didn't want to get carried away changing things. |
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The gifts are again bought with money stolen from the government's coffers. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most noble shops, because they spend money languishly.
When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most Possible alternatives: - sophisticated - expensive
When they travel, kleptocrats and their relatives are welcome clients in the most |
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They demand frugality from the population while they invite to raucous parties behind high walls. They demand frugality from the population while they invite to raucous parties behind high walls. They demand frugality from the population while they invite to raucous parties behind high walls. "Invite" needs a subject here, but I am having trouble finding it in the German original as well.
They demand frugality from the population while they |
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