yesterday
The Dinosaur and the Young Lady
As she did every day, Emma was feeding the chickens, kicking away any that dared to poke their beaks out of curiosity. One lost several feathers that evening, causing the most unexpected vocal response from a hen: “Ouch! That freak didn't miss me!”
Emma jumped back, “Oh my gosh! That stupid chicken is talking!”
The chicken rose to its feet, puffing out its chest, “Show me some respect, young lady! I’m a survivor of the glorious dinosaur lineage! We dominated the whole world for tens of millions of years!”
“Does it really matter? ‘Cause it was millions of years ago, after all!”
“Pff, if only that bloody asteroid hadn’t smashed into the planet, our magnificent reign would have been eternal, and you insignificant mammals would never have had the slightest chance of appearing!”
“Oh, I feel a hint of bitterness. But, hey, you’re just a fucking chicken.”
“At least we haven’t destroyed the planet ourselves. I’m curious to discover your final decision. You humans are so creative! Nuclear bombs, pandemics, climate change, AI… Weren’t asteroids destructive enough? Oh, I got it! Superior intelligences love pushing buttons themselves! Masters of your destiny until the very end!”
“Whoa, take it easy, flightless bird! You are just a fucking chicken! A fucking egg-laying machine!”
The chicken took a step forward, flapping its wings loudly, its head high, “It's all your fault! You have belittled my bloodline to the lowest state. I’m doomed to live behind a wire fence, eating seeds and, worst of all, laying eggs almost every single day, while that damn rooster just sings its horrible cock-a-doodle-doo all day long!”
“You sing too, right? You sing every time you lay an egg. It's so annoying!”
“No!!! I don’t sing!!! I don’t sing, I scream in pain! Imagine giving birth every single day!
“Maybe you would prefer to be a meat chicken instead of a laying one? You’re so fleshy and surely still tender. A delicious roast chicken for Sunday lunch! Yum-yum!”
“Oh shit! I had a loose tongue! Buk buk buk!”
Suddenly, the chicken rushed in the opposite direction, flapping its wings and hiding its head between its legs. A few metres further, the most basic chicken was there again. Its head spinning frantically from side to side, and its eyes gazing with their usual dull stare.
Could this stupidest look in the animal kingdom have been feigned for thousands of years?
Nah, it was probably just a very bad trip!
The Dinosaur and the Young Lady
As she did every day, Emma was feeding the chickens, kicking away any that dared to poke their beaks out of curiosity.
One lost several feathers that evening, causing the most unexpected vocal response from a hen:
“Ouch!
That freak didn't miss me!”
Emma jumped back, “Oh my gosh!
That stupid chicken is talking!”
The chicken rose to its feet, puffing out its chest, “Show me some respect, young lady!
I’m a survivor of the glorious dinosaur lineage!
We dominated the whole world for tens of millions of years!”
“Does it really matter?
‘Cause it was millions of years ago, after all!”
“Pff, if only that bloody asteroid hadn’t smashed into the planet, our magnificent reign would have been eternal, and you insignificant mammals would never have had the slightest chance of appearing!”
“Oh, I feel a hint of bitterness.
But, hey, you’re just a fucking chicken.”
“At least we haven’t destroyed the planet ourselves.
I’m curious to discover your final decision.
You humans are so creative!
Nuclear bombs, pandemics, climate change, AI…
Weren’t asteroids destructive enough?
Oh, I got it!
Superior intelligences love pushing buttons themselves!
Masters of your destiny until the very end!”
“Whoa, take it easy, flightless bird!
You are just a fucking chicken!
A fucking egg-laying machine!”
The chicken took a step forward, flapping its wings loudly, its head high, “It's all your fault!
You have belittled my bloodline to the lowest state.
I’m doomed to live behind a wire fence, eating seeds and, worst of all, laying eggs almost every single day, while that damn rooster just sings its horrible cock-a-doodle-doo all day long!”
“You sing too, right?
You sing every time you lay an egg.
It's so annoying!”
“No!!!
I don’t sing!!!
I don’t sing, I scream in pain!
Imagine giving birth every single day!
“Maybe you would prefer to be a meat chicken instead of a laying one?
You’re so fleshy and surely still tender.
Yum-yum!”
“Oh shit!
I had a loose tongue!
Buk buk buk!”
Suddenly, the chicken rushed in the opposite direction, flapping its wings and hiding its head between its legs.
Its head spinning frantically from side to side, and its eyes gazing with their usual dull stare.
Could this stupidest look in the animal kingdom have been feigned for thousands of years?
Nah, it was probably just a very bad trip!
The Dinosaur and the Young Lady
As she did every day, Emma was feeding the chickens, kicking away any that dared to poke their beaks at her out of curiosity.
"poking" sounds odd without an object/direction that's being poked at
One lost several feathers that evening, causing the most unexpected vocal response from a hen:
“Ouch!
That freak didn't misshit me!”
"didn't miss me" implies the hen expected her to miss, and I don't know if that's what you meant? It would still feel a little odd, if that's what you mean I would put "That freak actually got me!"
to "get someone" is a colloquial way to say you successfully landed a hit on someone
Emma jumped back, . “Oh my gosh!
You only really use the '(verb), "(quote)"' construction with verbs that express talking or making sounds.
That stupid chicken is talking!”
The chicken rose to its feet, puffing out its chest,. “Show me some respect, young lady!
I’m a survivor of the glorious dinosaur lineage!
We dominated the whole world for tens of millions of years!”
“Does it really matter?
‘Cause it was millions of years ago, after all!”
“Pff, if only that bloody asteroid hadn’t smashed into the planet, our magnificent reign would have been eternal, and you insignificant mammals would never have had the slightest chance of appearing!”
“Oh, I feel a hint of bitterness.
But, hey, you’re just a fucking chicken.”
“At least we haven’t destroyed the planet ourselves.
I’m curious to discover your final decision.
You humans are so creative!
Nuclear bombs, pandemics, climate change, AI…
Weren’t asteroids destructive enough?
Oh, I goet it!
Superior intelligences love pushing buttons themselves!
Masters of your destiny until the very end!”
“Whoa, take it easy, flightless bird!
You are just a fucking chicken!
A fucking egg-laying machine!”
The chicken took a step forward, flapping its wings loudly, its head high,. “It's all your fault!
You have belittled my bloodline to the lowest state.
I’m doomed to live behind a wire fence, eating seeds and, worst of all, laying eggs almost every single day, while that damn rooster just sings its horrible cock-a-doodle-doo all day long!”
“You sing too, right?
You sing every time you lay an egg.
It's so annoying!”
“No!!!
I don’t sing!!!
I don’t sing, I scream in pain!
Imagine giving birth every single day!
“Maybe you would prefer to be a meat chicken instead of a laying one?
You’re so fleshy and surely still tender.
A delicious roast chicken for Sunday lunch!
Yum-yum!”
“Oh shit!
I had a loose tongue've said too much!
"having a loose tongue" describes a tendency, it feels odd to use it for a single instance
Not really sure what a better phrase is
Buk buk buk!”
Suddenly, the chicken rushed in the opposite direction, flapping its wings and hiding its head between its legs.
A few metres furtheraway, the most basic manifestation of a chicken was theappeared again.
Hm... there are a lot of ways you can word this. But the way it is now, sounds kinda like you're saying there's an actual second chicken that's also there (even though the "again" helps clarify).
Its head spinning frantically from side to side, and its eyes gazing with their usual dull stare.
Could this, the stupidest look in the animal kingdom, have been feigned for thousands of years?
Idk why but "this stupidest" feels wrong...
Nah, it was probably just a very bad trip!
Feedback
This was hilarious. What a brutal exchange. Great writing lol
As she did every day, Emma was feeding the chickens, kicking away anythose that dared to poke their beaks out of curiosityat her with their beaks.
One lost several feathers that evening, causing the most unexpected vocal response from aone hen:
Emma jumped back, “Oh my gosh!,
Tthat stupid chicken is talking!”
We have dominated the whole world for tens of millions of years!”
‘Cause it wasIt happened millions of years ago, after all!”
“Pff, if only that bloody asteroid hadn’t smashed into the planet, our magnificent reign would have been eternal, and y. You insignificant mammals would never have had the slightest chance of appearing!”
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The Dinosaur and the Young Lady This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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As she did every day, Emma was feeding the chickens, kicking away any that dared to poke their beaks out of curiosity.
As she did every day, Emma was feeding the chickens, kicking away any that dared to poke their beaks at her out of curiosity. "poking" sounds odd without an object/direction that's being poked at This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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One lost several feathers that evening, causing the most unexpected vocal response from a hen: One lost several feathers that evening, causing the most unexpected vocal response from This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Ouch! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That freak didn't miss me!” That freak "didn't miss me" implies the hen expected her to miss, and I don't know if that's what you meant? It would still feel a little odd, if that's what you mean I would put "That freak actually got me!" to "get someone" is a colloquial way to say you successfully landed a hit on someone This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Emma jumped back, “Oh my gosh! Emma jumped back, “Oh my gosh Emma jumped back You only really use the '(verb), "(quote)"' construction with verbs that express talking or making sounds. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That stupid chicken is talking!”
This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Does it really matter? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The chicken rose to its feet, puffing out its chest, “Show me some respect, young lady! The chicken rose to its feet, puffing out its chest This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I’m a survivor of the glorious dinosaur lineage! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We dominated the whole world for tens of millions of years!” We have dominated the This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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‘Cause it was millions of years ago, after all!”
This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Pff, if only that bloody asteroid hadn’t smashed into the planet, our magnificent reign would have been eternal, and you insignificant mammals would never have had the slightest chance of appearing!” “Pff, if only that bloody asteroid hadn’t smashed into the planet, our magnificent reign would have been eternal This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Oh, I feel a hint of bitterness. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But, hey, you’re just a fucking chicken.” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“At least we haven’t destroyed the planet ourselves. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I’m curious to discover your final decision. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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You humans are so creative! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Nuclear bombs, pandemics, climate change, AI… This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Weren’t asteroids destructive enough? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Oh, I got it! Oh, I g This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Superior intelligences love pushing buttons themselves! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Masters of your destiny until the very end!” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Whoa, take it easy, flightless bird! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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You are just a fucking chicken! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A fucking egg-laying machine!” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The chicken took a step forward, flapping its wings loudly, its head high, “It's all your fault! The chicken took a step forward, flapping its wings loudly, its head high This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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You have belittled my bloodline to the lowest state. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Suddenly, the chicken rushed in the opposite direction, flapping its wings and hiding its head between its legs. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A few metres further, the most basic chicken was there again. A few metres Hm... there are a lot of ways you can word this. But the way it is now, sounds kinda like you're saying there's an actual second chicken that's also there (even though the "again" helps clarify). |
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Its head spinning frantically from side to side, and its eyes gazing with their usual dull stare. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Could this stupidest look in the animal kingdom have been feigned for thousands of years? Could this, the stupidest look in the animal kingdom, have been feigned for thousands of years? Idk why but "this stupidest" feels wrong... This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Nah, it was probably just a very bad trip! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I’m doomed to live behind a wire fence, eating seeds and, worst of all, laying eggs almost every single day, while that damn rooster just sings its horrible cock-a-doodle-doo all day long!” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“You sing too, right? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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You sing every time you lay an egg. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's so annoying!” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“No!!! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I don’t sing!!! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I don’t sing, I scream in pain! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Imagine giving birth every single day! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Maybe you would prefer to be a meat chicken instead of a laying one? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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You’re so fleshy and surely still tender. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A delicious roast chicken for Sunday lunch! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Yum-yum!” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“Oh shit! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I had a loose tongue! I "having a loose tongue" describes a tendency, it feels odd to use it for a single instance Not really sure what a better phrase is This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Buk buk buk!” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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