My fFirst glimpse on the cDay on Campus My First Day on Campus

I would not use "glimpse" here, since a glimpse is a very short and limited sight of something. For example, if you had driven past the campus for the first time, you could call that a "glimpse." But here, you are already settled into your dorm. I would call it your first day, or your first week.

As sStepping onto the bustling campus,it seemed that grounds, this challenging yet amazing stage was appealing for me to sof life felt appealing to me. Starting a new journey, filled my heart with feelings of attachment, anxiety, and of course, anticipation filled with my heart. Stepping onto the bustling campus grounds, this challenging yet amazing stage of life felt appealing to me. Starting a new journey filled my heart with feelings of attachment, anxiety, and of course, anticipation.

Edited for clarity

As I steppinged onto the bustling campus, it seemed that this challenging yet amazing stage was appealing forto me to start a new journey, attachment, anxiety and of course anticipation filled with my heart. As I stepped onto the bustling campus, it seemed that this challenging yet amazing stage was appealing to me to start a new journey, attachment, anxiety and of course anticipation filled with my heart.

"As I was stepping onto" or "As I stepped onto" are the two ways this gets written, and since the rest of the sentence is in the past tense I went with the past tense version. Commas have a space after them. "appealing to me" -> urging you to do something "appealing for me" -> making you want something The difference is subtle, but this is a case for "appealing to me" since you're talking about it urging you to start a new journey.

After brief and pflat introductions, four girls formed the 418other girls settled into room 418. After brief and flat introductions, four other girls settled into room 418.

"Form" would typically involve the materials which make something else, e.g., "Three sides form a triangle" People coming into a space (and stopping there) can be described as "settling in"

After brief and platsimple introductions, four girls formedwere assigned to the 418 room. After brief and simple introductions, four girls were assigned to the 418 room.

"plat" is apparently very specifically Scottish - I guess you found this in a bilingual dictionary? I had to look up the word as a native speaker.

To my surprise, I met three different yet equally warm-hearted roommates. To my surprise, I met three different yet equally warm-hearted roommates.

To my surprise, I met three different yet equally warm-hearted roommates. To my surprise, I met three different yet equally warm-hearted roommates.

Care and friendliness shone in piece of wordswas found in words shared about remindembering details and little actions, like computer helping -help with our computers, and it made me believed that one day , we would become true firiends . Care and friendliness was found in words shared about remembering details and little actions, like help with our computers, and it made me believe that one day we would become true friends.

There are no spaces before commas, but you need a space after them

Care and friendliness shone in piece of words about reminding detailthrough in words and little actions,like computer helping, -and it made me believed that one day , we would become true firiends . Care and friendliness shone through in words and little actions,like computer helping, and it made me believe that one day, we would become true friends .

I'm not sure what "in piece of words about reminding" is supposed to be, so I simplified it just down to "words" A dash as a seperator seperates two clauses that can be independent, but since it starts with "and" it can't be independent.

If life in dorm room weredorm life was sweet lemonada,e, then the stimulatingfizzy soda was about to burst out . If dorm life was sweet lemonade, then the fizzy soda was about to burst out.

Life in the dorm = dorm life This one might be less understood depending on who you are speaking to. In America, lemonade is not carbonated, so it would be flat like water and not fizzy like a soft drink (e.g., Coca Cola)

If life in a dorm room wereas sweet lemonada,e, then the stimulating soda was about to burst out . If life in a dorm room was sweet lemonade, then the stimulating soda was about to burst out.

I can sort of see what you mean, but is this directly translated from an expression in your native language?

What militeary training brought to mindme was scorching weather, an exhausted body, and sweat-soaked clothes. What military training brought me was scorching weather, an exhausted body, and sweat-soaked clothes.

"Brought to mind" would mean it is a memory you are recalling in this moment. First you are thinking of military training, then you are thinking of these associated things. You can say "brought to me / got me" to highlight what military training made you experience. This feels more appropriate in the text as you are informing us, the readers, how this past experience contrasts against your current story

What militeary training brought to mind was scorching weather, exhausted bodyies and sweat-soaked clothes. What military training brought to mind was scorching weather, exhausted bodies and sweat-soaked clothes.

TheMy first obstacle came when I missedforgot a pair of pants of one of the military uniforms. My first obstacle came when I forgot a pair of pants of one of the military uniforms.

More natural: "My first problem was forgetting..."

The first obstacle came when I was misseding a pair of pants ofor the military uniforms. The first obstacle came when I was missing a pair of pants for the military uniform.

And you couldan image it wouldine, it lead to howa terrible sitiuation——spending time searching for place storing the clothes alone,and coststorage for the clothes, plus an extra moneycost to get alterti replacement. And you can imagine, it led to a terrible situation—spending time searching storage for the clothes, plus an extra cost to get a replacement.

You almost never need to mention "money" with "cost" as it is already implied/understood

Ands you couldan imageine, it wcould lead to howa terrible sitiuation—— — spending time searching for the place storing the clothes alone, and costspending extra money to get altertimentpants altered. As you can imagine, it could lead to a terrible situation — spending time searching for the place storing the clothes alone, and spending extra money to get pants altered.

BesidesIn addition that, I also mistook thexed up my classrooms, forgot the lecture times , and baleance the society and course toughd work and student life poorly. In addition that, I also mixed up my classrooms, forgot lecture times, and balanced work and student life poorly.

Besides that, I also mistookxed up the classrooms, forgot the lecture times , and found it tough to baleance the society and course toughlycourse and social life. Besides that, I also mixed up the classrooms, forgot the lecture times, and found it tough to balance the course and social life.

All in all, hereflecting now, those days, I was buzysy, but free,t. Tired, but johappy. All in all, reflecting now, those days, I was busy, but free. Tired, but happy.

All in all, here, those days, I was buzsy but free, tired but joyous. All in all, here, those days, I was busy but free, tired but joyous.

I was a fresher,in fact ,but now paced to ahead,I thoughthandled it well, actually, but I only realize this now. I handled it well, actually, but I only realize this now.

Sorry, I didn't really understand what you were trying to say here. This is my best guess.

I was a fresher, in fact , but now paced toing ahead, I thought. I was a fresher in fact, but now pacing ahead, I thought.