Dec. 13, 2021
Travel to Hawaii
When I had diner with my parents last night, I asked my parent whether they want to travel abroad. For a few years I have saved flight mileage and it is enough for short flight for three people.
I recommended Jeju Island in Korea, because my father is into Korean TV dramas. I found some nice cruise tours to Jeju in google.
But my mother said that she doesn’t like stay in ships long time and tropical island sounds nice.
“Tropical island… like Hawaii?”
“That’s nice!”
My flight mileage is not enough for round trip to Hawaii. But they haven’t gone to abroad for about 30 years. I want to take them wherever they want to go….
The problem is money.
I proposed them, “if we save 600 yen per a day per a person for a year, we can save enough money for our trip! And after a year, things get back to normal.”
My father had a sour face because it’s difficult to say that his allowance is enough.
But just ignored him and I put a piggy bank in a dinning table.
I wish to go Hawai next year!
Traveling to Hawaii
When I had dinner with my parents last night, I asked my parents whether they wanted to travel abroad.
"wanted" is in past tense here because in English reported speech (outside of quotation marks ") is put in the same tense as the sentence (in this case, past.)
For a few years I haved saved flight mileage and it iwas enough for short flight for three people.
Since you're narrating in the past tense, I corrected to that.
I found some nice cruise tours to Jeju in gto Google.
But my mother said that she doesn’t like staying in ships long time andbut a tropical island soundsed nice.
1. "doesn't like to stay in ships" would also be fine.
2. "and" isn't really wrong, but since "doesn't like" and "nice" are sort of opposites here, it would be better to use "but".
“Tropical island… like Hawaii?”
“That’s would be nice!”
Since you're talking about a hypothetical (not actual) situation, "would be" sounds more natural.
My flight mileage is not enough for round trip to Hawaii.
But they haven’t gone to abroad for about 30 years.
I want to take them wherever they want to go….
The problem is money.
I proposed to them, “if we save 600 yen per a day per a person for a year, we can save enough money for our trip!
And after a year, things geto back to normal.”
This is more natural "get back to normal" doesn't fit here.
My father had a sour face because it’s difficult to say that his allowance is enough.
I don't really understand what you meant with this sentence.
But I just ignored him and I put a piggy bank ion athe dinning table.
"dine" has the silent "e" and the long "i" sound, so "dining" has only one "n".
(not so important to remember the rule, you can learn case-by-case.)
I wish to go Hawai next year!
Feedback
Very well written, with only small stylistic errors. Good luck on saving the money! I got your parents will get to enjoy the trip :)
Dec. 13, 2021
That’s helpful for me.I can learn a lot from your corrections.
Tense is very difficult for me but it’s very important.
Thank you!
Dec. 15, 2021
You're Welcome!
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Travel to Hawaii Traveling to Hawaii |
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When I had diner with my parents last night, I asked my parent whether they want to travel abroad. When I had dinner with my parents last night, I asked my parents whether they wanted to travel abroad. "wanted" is in past tense here because in English reported speech (outside of quotation marks ") is put in the same tense as the sentence (in this case, past.) |
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For a few years I have saved flight mileage and it is enough for short flight for three people. For a few years I ha Since you're narrating in the past tense, I corrected to that. |
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I recommended Jeju Island in Korea, because my father is into Korean TV dramas. |
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I found some nice cruise tours to Jeju in google. I found some nice cruise tours to Jeju |
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But my mother said that she doesn’t like stay in ships long time and tropical island sounds nice. But my mother said that she doesn’t like staying in ships long time 1. "doesn't like to stay in ships" would also be fine. 2. "and" isn't really wrong, but since "doesn't like" and "nice" are sort of opposites here, it would be better to use "but". |
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“Tropical island… like Hawaii?” This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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“That’s nice!” “That Since you're talking about a hypothetical (not actual) situation, "would be" sounds more natural. |
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My flight mileage is not enough for round trip to Hawaii. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But they haven’t gone to abroad for about 30 years. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I want to take them wherever they want to go…. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The problem is money. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I proposed them, “if we save 600 yen per a day per a person for a year, we can save enough money for our trip! I proposed to them, “if we save 600 yen per a day per |
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And after a year, things get back to normal.” And after a year, things g This is more natural "get back to normal" doesn't fit here. |
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My father had a sour face because it’s difficult to say that his allowance is enough. My father had a sour face because it’s difficult to say that his allowance is enough. I don't really understand what you meant with this sentence. |
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But just ignored him and I put a piggy bank in a dinning table. But I just ignored him and I put a piggy bank "dine" has the silent "e" and the long "i" sound, so "dining" has only one "n". (not so important to remember the rule, you can learn case-by-case.) |
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I wish to go Hawai next year! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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