vector341's avatar
vector341

Dec. 7, 2022

0
TOEFL Writing| Grades encourage students to learn

Topic:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

My essay:
While someone states that grades are encouragements for students to learn, I argue that grades are not beneficial for students for three reasons which I'll explore in the following essay.

First of all, grades along with tests makes students unhappy. Nowadays, school tends to set more and more tests to evaluate students' studying qualities, which will undoubtedly pressurize them. There isn't enough time for them to absorb the knowledge that they have learned. Some students cope with the pressure, that being said, others who fail the tests are despondent and hard to study efficiently. My own experience is a good evidence for this. The freshman year in high school was quite tough for me. With too many tests to prepare, I had to stay up late for these exams. The lack of sleepiness made me hard to concentrate on classes in the next day, which absolutely affected my productivity.

Second, grades are harmful for students to develop lifelong studying habits. So important are grades that students must spend time on reciting knowledges and doing practice. There is no time to gain learning skills and establish learning habits. Given the lack of basic self-learning skills, it's hard for them to get new knowledge by themselves after graduation. For instance, in today's world, where there is an ocean of information on our fingertips, self-learning plays a significant role in one's improvement. As grades are no longer the goal, students have been required to gain learning skills since school. Just to reiterate, grades may encourage students to study in school, but it reduces the ability to learn self.

Last but not the least, grades are narrow scales to evaluate different students. The tests given to every student regardless of their individual traits, just like forcing everyone to wear shoes in the same size. Our world is colorful, so should be our education. In my opinion, grades and scores are not scientific tools to judge all students.

In conclusion, grades will not encourage students to study. On the contrary, it makes most students unhappy and hard to learn knowledge in their long lives.


It my practice for TOEFL writing and some examples are fictional. You may disagree with my opinions, but I'm appreciate if you could spend time reading and correcting.

toefl
Corrections

While someone states say that grades are encouragements for students to learn, I argue that grades are not beneficial for students for three reasons which I'll explore in the following essay.

First of all, grades, along with tests, makes students unhappy.

Nowadays, schools tends to sethave more and more tests to evaluate students' studying qualitiesy, which will undoubtedly put pressurizee on them.

Some students cope with the pressure, t. That being said, others who fail the tests are despondent and find it hard to study efficiently.

My own experience is a good evidence ofor this.

You could also say “my own experience is a good example of this”

TheMy freshman year in high school was quite tough for me.

With too many tests to preparestudy for, I had to stay up late for these exams.

The lack of sleepiness made meit hard to concentrate oin classes in the next day, which absolutely affected my productivity.

SGrades are so important are grades that students must spend time on reciting knowledgefacts and doing practice.

There is no time to gain learning skills and establish learninggood habits.

Learning is fine here, just a bit repetitive. I would say good habits instead.

Given the lack of basic self-learning skills, it's hard for them to get new knowledgelearn new things by themselves after graduation.

For instance, in today's world, where there is an ocean of information onat our fingertips, self-learning plays a significant role in one's improvement.

As grades are no longer the goal, students have been required to gain learning skills since school.

I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here.

Just to reiterate, grades may encourage students to study in school, but ithey reduces the ability to learn by oneself.

The tests are given to every student regardless of their individual traits, just like forcing everyone to wear shoes in the same size.

Our world is colorful, so should be our education. be.

Or “our world is colorful, so our education should be too” might sound a bit more natural.

On the contrary, it makes most students unhappy and hard to learn knowledge inthroughout their long lives.

Feedback

Interesting essay! Your English is very good, keep practicing!

vector341's avatar
vector341

Dec. 7, 2022

0

Thank you very much!!! :)

vector341's avatar
vector341

Dec. 7, 2022

0

My own experience is a good evidence ofor this.

So both "My own experience is good evidence of this" and "My own experience is A good example of this" are right. It's hard to understand article sometimes...

shaked's avatar
shaked

Dec. 8, 2022

1

So both "My own experience is good evidence of this" and "My own experience is A good example of this" are right. It's hard to understand article sometimes...

Evidence is usually used as a plural noun or more of a concept. So you would use an article if you were saying “a piece of evidence” but not just “evidence”.

TOEFL Writing| Grades encourage students to learn


Topic:


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?


Grades (marks) encourage students to learn.


Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.


My essay:


While someone states that grades are encouragements for students to learn, I argue that grades are not beneficial for students for three reasons which I'll explore in the following essay.


While someone states say that grades are encouragements for students to learn, I argue that grades are not beneficial for students for three reasons which I'll explore in the following essay.

First of all, grades along with tests makes students unhappy.


First of all, grades, along with tests, makes students unhappy.

Nowadays, school tends to set more and more tests to evaluate students' studying qualities, which will undoubtedly pressurize them.


Nowadays, schools tends to sethave more and more tests to evaluate students' studying qualitiesy, which will undoubtedly put pressurizee on them.

There isn't enough time for them to absorb the knowledge that they have learned.


Some students cope with the pressure, that being said, others who fail the tests are despondent and hard to study efficiently.


Some students cope with the pressure, t. That being said, others who fail the tests are despondent and find it hard to study efficiently.

My own experience is a good evidence for this.


My own experience is a good evidence ofor this.

You could also say “my own experience is a good example of this”

The freshman year in high school was quite tough for me.


TheMy freshman year in high school was quite tough for me.

With too many tests to prepare, I had to stay up late for these exams.


With too many tests to preparestudy for, I had to stay up late for these exams.

The lack of sleepiness made me hard to concentrate on classes in the next day, which absolutely affected my productivity.


The lack of sleepiness made meit hard to concentrate oin classes in the next day, which absolutely affected my productivity.

Second, grades are harmful for students to develop lifelong studying habits.


So important are grades that students must spend time on reciting knowledges and doing practice.


SGrades are so important are grades that students must spend time on reciting knowledgefacts and doing practice.

There is no time to gain learning skills and establish learning habits.


There is no time to gain learning skills and establish learninggood habits.

Learning is fine here, just a bit repetitive. I would say good habits instead.

Given the lack of basic self-learning skills, it's hard for them to get new knowledge by themselves after graduation.


Given the lack of basic self-learning skills, it's hard for them to get new knowledgelearn new things by themselves after graduation.

For instance, in today's world, where there is an ocean of information on our fingertips, self-learning plays a significant role in one's improvement.


For instance, in today's world, where there is an ocean of information onat our fingertips, self-learning plays a significant role in one's improvement.

As grades are no longer the goal, students have been required to gain learning skills since school.


As grades are no longer the goal, students have been required to gain learning skills since school.

I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here.

Just to reiterate, grades may encourage students to study in school, but it reduces the ability to learn self.


Just to reiterate, grades may encourage students to study in school, but ithey reduces the ability to learn by oneself.

Last but not the least, grades are narrow scales to evaluate different students.


The tests given to every student regardless of their individual traits, just like forcing everyone to wear shoes in the same size.


The tests are given to every student regardless of their individual traits, just like forcing everyone to wear shoes in the same size.

Our world is colorful, so should be our education.


Our world is colorful, so should be our education. be.

Or “our world is colorful, so our education should be too” might sound a bit more natural.

In my opinion, grades and scores are not scientific tools to judge all students.


In conclusion, grades will not encourage students to study.


On the contrary, it makes most students unhappy and hard to learn knowledge in their long lives.


On the contrary, it makes most students unhappy and hard to learn knowledge inthroughout their long lives.

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