yesterday
Today
I left my friend’s house and walked up the gentle slope. The road was edged with countless leaves, tawny and crisp. They made me feel the deepening of autumn.
The westering sun was unexpectedly strong, and the countless yellow, brittle leaves had gathered to create a quietly beautiful scene.
友人宅を出てゆるやかな坂道を登って行った。その坂道の両端はぎっしりと落ち葉が重なっていた。秋の深まりを感じさせた。西日は意外にきつかった。黄色くかさかさの落ち葉も無数にたまるときれいな情景を作り上げていた。
I left my friend’s house and walked up the gentle slope.
The edge of the road was edgcovered with countless leaves, tawny and crisp.
"edged" is more for intentional decoration.
The westersetting sun was unexpectedly strong, and the countless yellow, brittle leaves had gathered to create a quietly beautiful scene.
"westering" is very niche vocabulary (actually, my computer's spell check doesn't believe it's a word, but it does appear to be in the dictionary), usually people talk about "setting sun" instead.
Today
The road was edglined with countless leaves, tawny and crisp.
"Edged" is a bit unnatural here. I would say "lined" instead.
They made me feel the deepeningessence of autumn.
Also a bit unnatural. I used "essence" instead - like the leaves represent what autumn truly feels like.
The westering sun was unexpectedly strong, and the countless yellow, brittle leaves had gathered to create a quietly beautiful scene.
Hmm, you could say "westering sun" but I don't really know anybody in English who uses that terminology. It's super formal, like it's written out of an old book.
Feedback
Good job! The overarching feedback that I would say is that less is more. I see some people try to use really fancy English words when writing, but sometimes that falls flat because it doesn't represent how native speakers actually write. Well done though!
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Today This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I left my friend’s house and walked up the gentle slope. I left my friend’s house and walked up the gentle slope. |
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The road was edged with countless leaves, tawny and crisp. The road was "Edged" is a bit unnatural here. I would say "lined" instead. The edge of the road was "edged" is more for intentional decoration. |
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They made me feel the deepening of autumn. They made me feel the Also a bit unnatural. I used "essence" instead - like the leaves represent what autumn truly feels like. |
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The westering sun was unexpectedly strong, and the countless yellow, brittle leaves had gathered to create a quietly beautiful scene. The Hmm, you could say "westering sun" but I don't really know anybody in English who uses that terminology. It's super formal, like it's written out of an old book. The "westering" is very niche vocabulary (actually, my computer's spell check doesn't believe it's a word, but it does appear to be in the dictionary), usually people talk about "setting sun" instead. |
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