April 5, 2024
Today
I'm at an altitude of 1024 meters now, and my activity band shows that I walked over 30,000 steps today.
The scenery along the way was so amazing. I took many videos and photos. I will show you guys when I go back to Shanghai.
It's an enjoyable and happy day. But right now I'm so sleepy. I just want to sleep.
But still, I want to tell a little story.
We got lost for a while this afternoon. And nobody could tell us the right way. Then a little yellow puppy showed up, watched us, and walked along a small trail. So that we knew there was a way just to the place we wanted to be.
It is so lovely, isn't it?
我现在在海拔1024米的地方，运动手环显示今天走了3万多步。
沿途的风景太美了。我拍了很多视频和照片。等我回上海再给你们看。
这是一个愉快欢乐的一天。但是现在我很困，想睡觉。
但是，我还是想讲一个小故事。
今天下午我们迷路了一会儿。没有人能告诉我们正确的路在哪里。这时一只黄色的小狗出现了，看着我们，沿着一条小路走着。这样我们就知道有一条路能到达我们想去的地方。
它很可爱，不是吗?
Today
I'm at an altitude of 1024 meters now, and my activity band shows that I walked over 30,000 steps today.
The scenery along the way was so amazing.
I took many videos and photos.
I will show you guys when I go back to Shanghai.
It's an enjoyable and happy day.
But right now I'm so sleepy.
I just want to sleep.
But still, I want to tell a little story.
We got lost for a while this afternoon.
And nobody could tell us the right way.
Then a little yellow puppy showed up, watched us, and walked along a small trail.
So that we knew there was a way just to the placto exactly where we wanted to be.
It is so lovely, isn't it?
Feedback
Such a wholesome story, thanks for sharing!
April 8, 2024
Thank you!
Today
I'm at an altitude of 1024 meters now, and my activity band shows that I walked over 30,000 steps today.
The scenery along the way was so amazing.
I took many videos and photos.
I will show them to you guys when I go back to Shanghai.
It's an enjoyable and happy day.
But right now I'm so sleepy.
I just want to sleep.
But still, I want to tell a little story.
We got lost for a while this afternoon.
And nobody could tell us the right way.
Then a little yellow puppy showed up, watched us, and walkedguided us along a small trail.
"guided us" helps establish some clarification in the context of the sentences coming immediately before and after.
So that we knew there was a way just to the place we wanted to be.
It is so lovely, isn't it?
Feedback
It sounds like you had a very lovely hike!
Today
I'm at an altitude of 1024 meters now, and my activity band shows that I walked over 30,000 steps today.
Very good! You combined two sentences.
The scenery along the way was so amazing.
I took many videos and photos.
I will show you guys when I go back to Shanghai.
It' was an enjoyable and happy day, but right now I'm sleepy.
But right now I'm so sleepy.
I just want to sleep but still I want to tell you about my day.
But still, I want to tell a little story.
We got lost for a while this afternoon.
And nobody could tell us the right way.
Then a little yellow puppy showed up, watched us, and walked along a small trail.
So thatAs we followed him, we knew thereis was a way justthe right way to the place we wanted to be.
It is so lovely, isn't it?
Feedback
Nicely written. I hope you had beautiful weather today!
April 5, 2024
Thank you!
It was a nice day, a bit rainy in the afternoon, but it didn't bother us at all.
I took manylots of videos and photos.
"lots of" is just a suggestion, it may be used in a casual context.
It' was an enjoyable and happy day.
Since your next sentence starts with "But," it may sound more natural to say that "It was" an enjoyable and happy day.
So that we knew there was a way to just to the place we wanted to be.
I think if you want to use "just", you should move it before "the place", giving the meaning you wanted to go to this place in particular.
Feedback
Great story! The writing was very clear. Most of my corrections are just suggestions.
I would suggest varying your sentence structure, by using commas and other punctuation to string together related sentences. That way, it sounds a bit more natural than having a bunch of short sentences. For example, you can say "It was a great day, but right now I feel so sleepy."
April 5, 2024
Thank you! I learned a lot. Next time I will try to do better!
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I just want to sleep. I just want to sleep but still I want to tell you about my day. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The scenery along the way was so amazing. The scenery along the way was This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I took many videos and photos. I took "lots of" is just a suggestion, it may be used in a casual context. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I will show you guys when I go back to Shanghai. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I will show them to you guys when I go back to Shanghai. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's an enjoyable and happy day. It Since your next sentence starts with "But," it may sound more natural to say that "It was" an enjoyable and happy day. It This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But right now I'm so sleepy.
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Today This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I'm at an altitude of 1024 meters now, and my activity band shows that I walked over 30,000 steps today. I'm at an altitude of 1024 meters now, and my activity band shows that I walked over Very good! You combined two sentences. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But still, I want to tell a little story.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We got lost for a while this afternoon. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And nobody could tell us the right way. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So that we knew there was a way just to the place we wanted to be. So that we knew there was a way to just I think if you want to use "just", you should move it before "the place", giving the meaning you wanted to go to this place in particular.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! So |
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Then a little yellow puppy showed up, watched us, and walked along a small trail. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Then a little yellow puppy showed up, watched us, and "guided us" helps establish some clarification in the context of the sentences coming immediately before and after. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is so lovely, isn't it? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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