Dec. 26, 2021
To Be Concise
Tomorrow is Monday, and I must go to work.
My workday is from Monday to Friday. Weekends are my days off.
My department is a part of the government, so you can see me as a civil servant.
The responsibility of my department is to train farmers in my district, and each year we train about 300 farmers.
We stay in hotels for theoretical training and go to some bases for field training.
We pay for everything during the training. Farmers don't need to pay a cent.
We will train them to plant crops, fruits, vegetables and so on.
My colleagues and I don't have the skills to train them. We are just organizers and we hire professional experts to teach them.
The purpose of writing this short essay is to try to be concise. I don't know if I did it.
To Be Concise
Tomorrow is Monday, and I must go to work.
My workday is from Monday to Friday.
Weekends are my days off.
My department is a part of the government, so you can see me as a civil servant.
The responsibility of my department is to train farmers in my district, and each year we train about 300 farmers.
We stay in hotels for theoretical training and go to some bases for field training.
We pay for everything during the training.
Farmers don't need to pay a cent.
We will train them to plant crops, fruits, vegetables and so on.
My colleagues and I don't have the skills to train them.
We are just organizers and we hire professional experts to teach them.
The purpose of writing this short essay is to try to be concise.
I don't know if I did it.
Feedback
You were very concise, the only thing "off" is the very short sentences that you used, which is more of a stylistic issue/choice. If you got rid of a few periods i'm sure it'll look cleaner! You got the infomation across good.
Dec. 27, 2021
Thank you very much for your comments. I will continue to work on it.
Trying To Be Concise
Tomorrow is Monday, and I must go to work.
MyI workday is from Monday to Friday.
Weekends are my days off.
My departmentI work isn a part of the government, so you can see me asgovernment department, so you might call me a civil servant.
The responsibility of mMy department is toresponsible for training farmers in myour district, and each year we train about 300 farmers.
We stay in hotels for theoretical training and go to somepecial bases for field training.
WeDuring training, the government pays for everything during the training.
In your version it sounds like you, personally, pay for the training. I think what you mean is that your department pays for the training.
Farmers don't need to pay a cent.
We will train them to plant crops, fruits, vegetables and so on.
My colleagues and I don't have the skills to train them.
We are just organizers and; we hire professional experts to teach them.
The purpose of writing this short essay is to try toand be concise.
I don't know if I did itsucceeded.
I think you did ; )
Dec. 27, 2021
Thank you very much.
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Weekends are my days off. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To Be Concise Trying To Be Concise This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Tomorrow is Monday, and I must go to work. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My workday is from Monday to Friday.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My department is a part of the government, so you can see me as a civil servant.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The responsibility of my department is to train farmers in my district, and each year we train about 300 farmers.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We stay in hotels for theoretical training and go to some bases for field training. We stay in hotels for theoretical training and go to s This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We pay for everything during the training.
In your version it sounds like you, personally, pay for the training. I think what you mean is that your department pays for the training. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Farmers don't need to pay a cent. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We will train them to plant crops, fruits, vegetables and so on. We This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My colleagues and I don't have the skills to train them. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We are just organizers and we hire professional experts to teach them. We are just organizers This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The purpose of writing this short essay is to try to be concise. The purpose of writing this short essay is to try This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I don't know if I did it. I don't know if I I think you did ; ) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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