helena's avatar
helena

May 8, 2020

0
Thoughts #1

I just do not understand myself.

A few months ago, I was chilling in front of my computer monitor, basically doing nothing for a whole days and weeks. It was nice, it felt good, I regret nothing. But now – I'm drowning in guilt. I don't have any ambitious goals or high expectations for my life. I think my biggest personal value is „primum non nocere”. I don't harm anyone by scrolling Twitter over and over again, so why is it bothering me that much?

Maybe I'm not being honest with myself. Maybe I catch from others this desire, raised by capitalism, to have more, to do more. To be the change. And I can't achieve any of that by staying who am I today.

Corrections

Few months ago I was chilling in front of my computer's monitor, basically doing nothing for a wholentire days and weeks.

You don't need put a in front of plurals.
Also to me entire sounds better that whole.

It was nice, it felt good, I regretted nothing.

be and feel are in past simple, but regret is not?

And I can't accomplimenthieve any of that by staying who I am I today.

Feedback

This is quite terrific, thank you!

helena's avatar
helena

May 8, 2020

0

It was nice, it felt good, I regretted nothing.

Yes. Right now, when I'm thinking about lazy, past days, I don't regret I wasn't more productive. It was very calm and peaceful time.

I just do not understand myself.

A few months ago, I was chilling in front of my computer monitor, basically doing nothing for a whole days and weeks.

"days and weeks" is plural, therefore you would have to use "some" instead of "a". But, without it sounds the most natural here.

It was nice, i. It felt good,. I regret nothing.

A lot of English-speakers tend to put commas where they don't belong. Perhaps to create these sort of natural pauses in writing, but they don't make sense grammatically. Either a conjunction, like "and," or a different punctuation, like a semicolon, would work well to connect everything into one sentence.

Here, to emphasize the repeated short clauses, I would use periods. But, TBH I am super nitpicking and this is barely a mistake.

But now – I'm drowning in guilt.

I don't have any ambitious goals or high expectations for my life.

I think my biggest personal value is „primum non nocere”.

I don't harm anyone by scrolling Twitter over and over again, so why is it bothering me that much?

Maybe I'm not being honest with myself.

Maybe, I catch this desire from others this desi, who were, raised by capitalism, to have more,- to do more.

It's not very clear who was raised by capitalism here. Was it the "others" or "this desire"? I think, by using a few too many commas, you confuse what the subject is of this "raising".

But the sentence sounds very pretty and poetic.

To be the change.

And I can't achieve any of that by staying who I am I today.

Feedback

If you told me this was written by an English-Speaker, I would believe you. It's very well written and has an emotional aspect to it that I, as the reader, could feel. Some of the grammatical issues could be ignored for the sake of emotions. Very nice!!

profitendieu's avatar
profitendieu

May 8, 2020

0

It was nice, i. It felt good,. I regret nothing.

I think it's less "commas where they don't belong" here, and more an omission of "and" for stylistic effect: https://english.stackexchange.com/q/15970/113475 I wouldn't encourage it among second-language learners or students though, unless it were clear that they are advanced enough to distinguish it from outright run-on sentences and know how to use it judiciously.

Thoughts #1

I just do not understand myself.

FA few months ago, I was chilling in front of my computer's monitor, basically doing nothing for a whole days anddays, even weeks.

1) Any sentence that begins with a time, like "Last year," "Yesterday," etc. need a comma afterwards.
2) You can say computer monitor, computer's monitor sounds weird
3) You can say "a whole day" (meaning an entire day), but you can't say "whole days", so I changed it to "days, even weeks". That means you were basically doing nothing ranging from a few days to a few weeks.

It was nice, it felt good, I regret nothing.

But now – I'm drowning in guilty.

I don't have any ambitionous goals or high expectations for my life.

I think that my biggest personal the largest value is „primum non nocere”.

I don't harm anyone by scrolling Twitter over and over again, so why it'ss it bothering me that much?

Maybe I'm not being honest with myself.

It sounds smoother when you say "being honest with yourself".

Maybe I catch from others this desiget this desire to have more and to do more, raised by capitalism, to have more, to do moreby others.

Sounds smoother this way.

To be the change.

And I can't accomplimenthieve any of that by staying who am I today.

Feedback

Nice journal! Good writing! Just changed a few things to make it smoother.
Sometimes, I feel the exact way you were describing :) It's hard to deal with!

Thouhts #1


Thoughts #1

I just do not understand myself.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Few months ago I was chilling in front of my computer's monitor, basically doing nothing for a whole days and weeks.


FA few months ago, I was chilling in front of my computer's monitor, basically doing nothing for a whole days anddays, even weeks.

1) Any sentence that begins with a time, like "Last year," "Yesterday," etc. need a comma afterwards. 2) You can say computer monitor, computer's monitor sounds weird 3) You can say "a whole day" (meaning an entire day), but you can't say "whole days", so I changed it to "days, even weeks". That means you were basically doing nothing ranging from a few days to a few weeks.

Few months ago I was chilling in front of my computer's monitor, basically doing nothing for a wholentire days and weeks.

You don't need put a in front of plurals. Also to me entire sounds better that whole.

It was nice, it felt good, I regret nothing.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It was nice, i. It felt good,. I regret nothing.

A lot of English-speakers tend to put commas where they don't belong. Perhaps to create these sort of natural pauses in writing, but they don't make sense grammatically. Either a conjunction, like "and," or a different punctuation, like a semicolon, would work well to connect everything into one sentence. Here, to emphasize the repeated short clauses, I would use periods. But, TBH I am super nitpicking and this is barely a mistake.

It was nice, it felt good, I regretted nothing.

be and feel are in past simple, but regret is not?

But now – I'm drowning in guilty.


But now – I'm drowning in guilty.

I don't have any ambitionous goals or high expectations for my life.


I don't have any ambitionous goals or high expectations for my life.

I think that my personal the largest value is „primum non nocere”.


I think that my biggest personal the largest value is „primum non nocere”.

I don't harm anyone by scrolling Twitter over and over again, so why it's bothering me that much?


I don't harm anyone by scrolling Twitter over and over again, so why it'ss it bothering me that much?

Maybe I'm not honest with myself.


Maybe I'm not being honest with myself.

It sounds smoother when you say "being honest with yourself".

Maybe I catch from others this desire, raised by capitalism, to have more, to do more.


Maybe I catch from others this desiget this desire to have more and to do more, raised by capitalism, to have more, to do moreby others.

Sounds smoother this way.

Maybe, I catch this desire from others this desi, who were, raised by capitalism, to have more,- to do more.

It's not very clear who was raised by capitalism here. Was it the "others" or "this desire"? I think, by using a few too many commas, you confuse what the subject is of this "raising". But the sentence sounds very pretty and poetic.

To be the change.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And I can't accompliment any of that by staying who am I today.


And I can't accomplimenthieve any of that by staying who am I today.

And I can't accomplimenthieve any of that by staying who I am I today.

Thoughts #1


A few months ago, I was chilling in front of my computer monitor, basically doing nothing for a whole days and weeks.


A few months ago, I was chilling in front of my computer monitor, basically doing nothing for a whole days and weeks.

"days and weeks" is plural, therefore you would have to use "some" instead of "a". But, without it sounds the most natural here.

Maybe I'm not being honest with myself.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And I can't achieve any of that by staying who am I today.


And I can't achieve any of that by staying who I am I today.

I don't have any ambitious goals or high expectations for my life.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I think my biggest personal value is „primum non nocere”.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I don't harm anyone by scrolling Twitter over and over again, so why is it bothering me that much?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But now – I'm drowning in guilt.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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