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dubrakva

March 21, 2022

0
The swamp monster

In the evening of August, two friends went for a walk. They saw a nice place where they could sit and relax for a bit. Everything was calm until they began to hear squeaky sounds. At first they thought it was just some animal, but they kept hearing that noise. They noticed that they were not at a normal place, but next to a swamp. That swamp was actually abandoned and haunted because it was believed that a little girl drowned there. Her spirit is thought to wander there in the form of a monster. Suddenly steam began to appear, so they're blood ran cold. They set out to flee, but it seemed to them that they saw something. It started to rain and the wind was blowing hard. They felt as if something was following them and suddenly heard a scream. Behind them was actually a kind of green dirty creature. Did they manage to escape from him?

Corrections

In thOne evening ofin August, two friends went for a walk.

They saw a nice place where they could sit and relax for a bit.

Everything was calm until they began to hear squeaky sounds.

At first they thought it was just some animal, but they kept hearing that noise.

They noticed that they were not atin a normal place, but next to a swamp.

That swamp was actually abandoned and haunted because it was believed that a little girl drowned there.

Her spirit iwas thought to have wandered there in the form of a monster.

Suddenly steam began to appear, soand they're blood ran col started to become frightened.

They set outtarted to flee, but it seemed to them thatthen they saw something.

It started to rain and the wind was blowing hard.

They felt as if something was following them and they suddenly heard a scream.

Behind them was actuallyappeared a kind of green, dirty creature.

Did they manage to escape from himit?

Feedback

Nice job! Very descriptive

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 21, 2022

0

Thank you for taking your time!

The swamp monster

In the evening of August, two friends went for a walk.

They saw a nice place where they could sit and relax for a bit.

Everything was calm until they began to hear squeaky sounds.

At first they thought it was just some animal, but they kept hearing that noise.

TSuddenly, they noticed that they were not at a normal place, but next to a swamp.

That swamp was actually abandoned and said to be haunted, because it was believed that a little girl drowned there.

Her spirit is thought to wander there in the form of a monster.

Suddenly, steam began to appear, so they'reir blood ran cold.

They set out to flee, but it seemed to them that they saw something.

This is okay, but something like this might sound better:
"They tried to flee, but then they thought they saw something."

It started to rain and the wind was blowing hard.

They felt as if something was following them, and suddenly heard a scream.

Behind themThere was actually asome kind of green dirty creaturedirty, green creature behind them.

I assume this is what you mean?

Did they manage to escape from himit?

I would assume the monster is not a "him" if it's haunted by a girl's spirit.

dubrakva's avatar
dubrakva

March 21, 2022

0

Thank you for taking your time

The swamp monster


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

In the evening of August, two friends went for a walk.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

In thOne evening ofin August, two friends went for a walk.

They saw a nice place where they could sit and relax for a bit.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Everything was calm until they began to hear squeaky sounds.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

At first they thought it was just some animal, but they kept hearing that noise.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

They noticed that they were not at a normal place, but next to a swamp.


TSuddenly, they noticed that they were not at a normal place, but next to a swamp.

They noticed that they were not atin a normal place, but next to a swamp.

That swamp was actually abandoned and haunted because it was believed that a little girl drowned there.


That swamp was actually abandoned and said to be haunted, because it was believed that a little girl drowned there.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Her spirit is thought to wander there in the form of a monster.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Her spirit iwas thought to have wandered there in the form of a monster.

Suddenly steam began to appear, so they're blood ran cold.


Suddenly, steam began to appear, so they'reir blood ran cold.

Suddenly steam began to appear, soand they're blood ran col started to become frightened.

They set out to flee, but it seemed to them that they saw something.


They set out to flee, but it seemed to them that they saw something.

This is okay, but something like this might sound better: "They tried to flee, but then they thought they saw something."

They set outtarted to flee, but it seemed to them thatthen they saw something.

It started to rain and the wind was blowing hard.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

They felt as if something was following them and suddenly heard a scream.


They felt as if something was following them, and suddenly heard a scream.

They felt as if something was following them and they suddenly heard a scream.

Behind them was actually a kind of green dirty creature.


Behind themThere was actually asome kind of green dirty creaturedirty, green creature behind them.

I assume this is what you mean?

Behind them was actuallyappeared a kind of green, dirty creature.

Did they manage to escape from him?


Did they manage to escape from himit?

I would assume the monster is not a "him" if it's haunted by a girl's spirit.

Did they manage to escape from himit?

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