Oct. 4, 2020
the story from my granduncle
This immigrant story is from my granduncle. In the last century, Hongkong was benefited from a unique coastal geography, and British government control. HongKong’s development was early than China's mainland. During that time, many foreign capitals had invested in the Hongkong local estates and set up firms in Hongkong to avoid destination tax. Billions of cash poured in Hongkong led to an economic boom. The rising of Hongkong is startling, as one of Four Asian Tigers. Meanwhile, a flourishing economical boom which in a short term, is a signal of huge demand in the labor market. An immigrant trend had happened that millions of Chinese stowaways immigrated to Hongkong in the last century.
My granduncle's name is Sheng. He is the youngest son of my grand-grandmother. In 1963, when he was 16 years old, he decided to smuggle to HongKong. Compared to staying at Canton, he thought HongKong had more job opportunities and the average salary was respectable. For example, in 1980, the exchange rate between HongKong dollars and RMB was 100:2700, which was a huge distance. As a result, many Chinese, from the mainland, will like to take risks to smuggle.
In the last century, Hongk Kong was benefited from a unique coastal geography, and British government control.
Hong Kong’s development was earlyier than China's mainland.
During that time, many foreign capitals had invested in the Hongk Kong local estates and set up firms in Hongk Kong to avoid destination tax.
Billions of cash poured into Hongk Kong led to an economic boom.
The rising of Hongk Kong is startling, as one of the Four Asian Tigers.
An immigrant trend had happened that millions of Chinese stowaways immigrated to Hongk Kong in the last century.
In 1963, when he was 16 years old, he decided to smuggle to Hong Kong.
Compared to staying at Canton, he thought Hong Kong had more job opportunities and the average salary was respectable.
For example, in 1980, the exchange rate between Hong Kong dollars and RMB was 100:2700, which was a huge distance.
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Sorry, I just want to have a try. Maybe the corrections are totally wrong.
Oct. 4, 2020
thank you
theA story from my granduncle
This immigrant storystory about immigration is from my granduncle.
In the last century, Hongk Kong was benefited from a unique coastal geography, and British government control.
Hong Kong’s development was earlyier than China'sthat of mainland China.
大陸 is translated as “mainland China.”
During that time, many foreign capitals had invested in the Hongkong loclocal real estates and set up firms in Hongk Kong to avoid destination tax.
"Hong Kong" is understood in "local," so I removed it to avoid repetition.
Billions of cashdollars poured in Hongk Kong, ledading to an economic boom.
"Cash" is uncountable, so you should either replace it with a currency, as I've done, or rephrase.
The risinge of Hongk Kong is startling, as one of the Four Asian Tigers.
(Meanwhile,) a flourishingn economical boom whichis, in athe short term, is a signal of huge demand in the labor market.
I tried to fix the sentence, but there are still problems with it. It's hard to know how best to phrase it without knowing what you originally meant to say.
- The original sentence is incomplete. "Which" introduces a relative clause, which requires a verb, and "is a signal of huge demand" is still part of it. The main clause in the original sentence is lacking a verb.
- "Meanwhile" suggests a shift in focus, but there isn't really such a shift here.
- "Economic" refers to economics, "economical" refers to thriftiness.
- "Signal" implies that something points to a certain trend that is more generalized. "Huge demand in the labor market" is a signal of an economic boom, rather than the reverse.
- We say "economic boom" or "flourishing economy." The two aren't combined.
An immigrant trend thad happened thatt occurred was the immigration of millions of Chinese stowaways immigrated to Hongk Kong in the last century.
Events happen, while trends occur.
I wrote "trend" rather than "trend in immigration" to avoid repetition. You could also write "trend in immigration" and change the second immigration to "migration."
My granduncle's name is Sheng.
He is the youngest son of my grandeat-grandmother.
In 1963, when he was 16 years old, he decided to smuggle himself to Hong Kong.
"Smuggle" is transitive and requires an object.
Compared to staying at Canton, he thought Hong Kong had more job opportunities and the average salary (there) was respectable.
We are comparing places, so we should write "Canton" rather than "staying in Canton."
For example, in 1980, the exchange rate between Hong Kong dDollars and RMB was 100:2700, which was a huge distafference.
"Distance" can be used metaphorically, but here it doesn't really work.
As a result, many Chinese, from the mainland, will like to take risks to smugglemainland Chinese would take risks to smuggle themselves out of mainland China.
- "Will" suggests that this is an ongoing phenomenon. I'm not sure if that's what you meant to say: while there is still mainland Chinese immigration to Hong Kong, the circumstances before the 1990s were very different from those now.
- We need a destination here for "smuggle."
Oct. 4, 2020
Thank you very much !!
writing this kind of type is very hard for me. because there has a lot of verbs to learn to completely understand and use in the right place. your explanations are very helpful. By your corrections, I know where are the problems are. Then I know how to progress my writing. As a return, if you need to check any Chinese, Cantonese writings, or about Chinese cultures, welcome to ask me :D
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the story from my granduncle
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This immigrant story is from my granduncle. This |
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In the last century, Hongkong was benefited from a unique coastal geography, and British government control. In the last century, Hong In the last century, Hong |
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HongKong’s development was early than China's mainland. Hong Kong’s development was earl 大陸 is translated as “mainland China.” Hong Kong’s development was earl |
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During that time, many foreign capitals had invested in the Hongkong local estates and set up firms in Hongkong to avoid destination tax. During that time, many foreign capitals had invested in the "Hong Kong" is understood in "local," so I removed it to avoid repetition. During that time, many foreign capitals had invested in the Hong |
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Billions of cash poured in Hongkong led to an economic boom. Billions of "Cash" is uncountable, so you should either replace it with a currency, as I've done, or rephrase. Billions of cash poured into Hong |
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The rising of Hongkong is startling, as one of Four Asian Tigers. The ris The rising of Hong |
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Meanwhile, a flourishing economical boom which in a short term, is a signal of huge demand in the labor market. (Meanwhile,) a I tried to fix the sentence, but there are still problems with it. It's hard to know how best to phrase it without knowing what you originally meant to say. - The original sentence is incomplete. "Which" introduces a relative clause, which requires a verb, and "is a signal of huge demand" is still part of it. The main clause in the original sentence is lacking a verb. - "Meanwhile" suggests a shift in focus, but there isn't really such a shift here. - "Economic" refers to economics, "economical" refers to thriftiness. - "Signal" implies that something points to a certain trend that is more generalized. "Huge demand in the labor market" is a signal of an economic boom, rather than the reverse. - We say "economic boom" or "flourishing economy." The two aren't combined. |
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An immigrant trend had happened that millions of Chinese stowaways immigrated to Hongkong in the last century. A Events happen, while trends occur. I wrote "trend" rather than "trend in immigration" to avoid repetition. You could also write "trend in immigration" and change the second immigration to "migration." An immigrant trend had happened that millions of Chinese stowaways immigrated to Hong |
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My granduncle's name is Sheng. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He is the youngest son of my grand-grandmother. He is the youngest son of my gr |
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In 1963, when he was 16 years old, he decided to smuggle to HongKong. In 1963, when he was 16 years old, he decided to smuggle himself to Hong Kong. "Smuggle" is transitive and requires an object. In 1963, when he was 16 years old, he decided to smuggle to Hong Kong. |
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Compared to staying at Canton, he thought HongKong had more job opportunities and the average salary was respectable. Compared to We are comparing places, so we should write "Canton" rather than "staying in Canton." Compared to staying at Canton, he thought Hong Kong had more job opportunities and the average salary was respectable. |
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For example, in 1980, the exchange rate between HongKong dollars and RMB was 100:2700, which was a huge distance. For example, in 1980, the exchange rate between Hong Kong "Distance" can be used metaphorically, but here it doesn't really work. For example, in 1980, the exchange rate between Hong Kong dollars and RMB was 100:2700, which was a huge distance. |
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As a result, many Chinese, from the mainland, will like to take risks to smuggle. As a result, many - "Will" suggests that this is an ongoing phenomenon. I'm not sure if that's what you meant to say: while there is still mainland Chinese immigration to Hong Kong, the circumstances before the 1990s were very different from those now. - We need a destination here for "smuggle." |
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