Feb. 19, 2022
The Spy and the Traitor - 10
Summary no. 10.
NB: IT IS A REAL STORY.
Oleg felt frustated and disappointed with his boring desk job at the KGB headquarters in Moscow. Having made it into the First Chief Directorate, the KGB counter-intelligence department, he had* expected to be assigned to some thrilling and active job. After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly draw him to this hazy world of deception. Oleg felt also heavily discouraged by the gloomy communist atmosphere hanging over Moscow. So, if things were to change, he had to get married. That was the only way to go about it. Getting married would mount his chance of working abroad, which had always been Oleg’s ultimate desire. In this way, he would kill two birds with one stone: he would take up some proper active job, and would finally have a taste of Western culture (speaking Swedish and German, he assumed he would probably be sent in North Europe). Yelena Akopian seemed to be the perfect choice as his wife. Already a KGB agent, she, too, sought to be posted abroad. They got married just a few months after their first encounter. They both knew, but neither admitted, that it was merely a marriage of convenience.
*or “he expected”? (timeline: he hoped to become a “spy” - employed by FCD with a desk job - disappointed - still hoped to be a spy)
The Spy and the Traitor - 10
NB: ITHIS IS A REAL STORY.
What you said wasn't necessarily wrong, but 'This is a real story' sounds more natural in English.
Oleg felt frustated and disappointed with his boring desk job at the KGB headquarters in Moscow.
Having made it into the First Chief Directorate, the KGB counter-intelligence department, he had* expected to be assigned to some thrilling and active job.
"He had expected" is correct, but here "He expected" would also work. "He had expected" gives the nuance that he may have stopped expecting the new assignment, whereas "He expected" implies that he might still be expecting the new assignment.
After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly draew him to this hazy world of deception.
Past tense of 'draw' is 'drew'.
Oleg felt also heavily discouraged by the gloomy communist atmosphere hanging over Moscow.
So, if things were to change, he had to get married.
Getting married would mountimprove his chances of working abroad, which had always been Oleg’s ultimate desire.
While 'mount' is technically correct, it's a bit of an old word (when you use it like that), so not everyone will know what you mean. You could instead say "increase his chances", "boost his chances", "raise his chances", or "improve his chances". However, I personally still like the phrase "mount his chances", so if you know that your audience understands that word, then you can leave the sentence as it is.
In this way, he would kill two birds with one stone: he would take up some proper active job, and would finally have a taste of Western culture (speaking Swedish and German, he assumed he would probably be sent in North Europe).
Already a KGB agent, she, too, sought to be posted abroad.
I have this problem too, but try to keep the number of commas you use to a minimum so that the sentence flows smoothly.
They got married just a few months after their first encounter.
They both knew, but neither admitted, that it was merely a marriage of convenience.
Feedback
Very good flow and grammar, just a couple of minor details that even native speakers muck up sometimes.
Feb. 20, 2022
Many thanks for your corrections
After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly draew him to this hazy world of deception.
Getting married would mount his chance of working abroad, which had always been Oleg’s ultimate desire.
"mount his chance" doesn't mean anything. "Guarantee his ability to" or "increase the odds of" maybe?
In this way, he would kill two birds with one stone: he would take up some proper activea better and more dynamic job, and would finally have a taste of Western culture (speaking Swedish and German, he assumed he would probably be sent in North Europe).
Feedback
Nice work!
Feb. 20, 2022
Thanks
The Spy and the Traitor - 10
Summary no.
10.
NB: IT IS A REAL STORY.
Oleg felt frustated and disappointed with his boring desk job at the KGB headquarters in Moscow.
Having made it into the First Chief Directorate, the KGB counter-intelligence department, he had* expected to be assigned to some thrilling and active job.
After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly draew him to this hazy world of deception.
Oleg felt also heavily discouraged by the gloomy communist atmosphere hanging over Moscow.
So, if things were to change, he had to get married.
That was the only way to go about it.
Getting married would mount his chance of working abroad, which had always been Oleg’s ultimate desire.
In this way, he would kill two birds with one stone: he would take up some proper active job, and would finally have a taste of Western culture (speaking Swedish and German, he assumed he would probably be sent into Northern Europe).
Yelena Akopian seemed to be thea perfect choice asto be his wife.
Already a KGB agent, she, too, sought to be posted abroad.
They got married just a few months after their first encounter.
They both knew, but neither admitted, that it was merely a marriage of convenience.
*or “he expected”?
(timeline: he hoped to become a “spy” - employed by FCD with a desk job - disappointed - still hoped to be a spy)
Feb. 20, 2022
Thanks
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The Spy and the Traitor - 10 This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Summary no. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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10. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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NB: IT IS A REAL STORY. This sentence has been marked as perfect! NB: What you said wasn't necessarily wrong, but 'This is a real story' sounds more natural in English. |
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Oleg felt frustated and disappointed with his boring desk job at the KGB headquarters in Moscow. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Having made it into the First Chief Directorate, the KGB counter-intelligence department, he had* expected to be assigned to some thrilling and active job. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Having made it into the First Chief Directorate, the KGB counter-intelligence department, he had "He had expected" is correct, but here "He expected" would also work. "He had expected" gives the nuance that he may have stopped expecting the new assignment, whereas "He expected" implies that he might still be expecting the new assignment. |
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After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly draw him to this hazy world of deception. After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly dr After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly dr After all, it was secrecy and action that irresistibly dr Past tense of 'draw' is 'drew'. |
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Oleg felt also heavily discouraged by the gloomy communist atmosphere hanging over Moscow. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So, if things were to change, he had to get married. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That was the only way to go about it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Getting married would mount his chance of working abroad, which had always been Oleg’s ultimate desire. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Getting married would mount his chance of working abroad, which had always been Oleg’s ultimate desire. "mount his chance" doesn't mean anything. "Guarantee his ability to" or "increase the odds of" maybe? Getting married would While 'mount' is technically correct, it's a bit of an old word (when you use it like that), so not everyone will know what you mean. You could instead say "increase his chances", "boost his chances", "raise his chances", or "improve his chances". However, I personally still like the phrase "mount his chances", so if you know that your audience understands that word, then you can leave the sentence as it is. |
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In this way, he would kill two birds with one stone: he would take up some proper active job, and would finally have a taste of Western culture (speaking Swedish and German, he assumed he would probably be sent in North Europe). In this way, he would kill two birds with one stone: he would take up some proper active job, and would finally have a taste of Western culture (speaking Swedish and German, he assumed he would probably be sent In this way, he would kill two birds with one stone: he would take up This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Yelena Akopian seemed to be the perfect choice as his wife. Yelena Akopian seemed |
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Already a KGB agent, she, too, sought to be posted abroad. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Already a KGB agent, she I have this problem too, but try to keep the number of commas you use to a minimum so that the sentence flows smoothly. |
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They got married just a few months after their first encounter. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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They both knew, but neither admitted, that it was merely a marriage of convenience. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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*or “he expected”? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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(timeline: he hoped to become a “spy” - employed by FCD with a desk job - disappointed - still hoped to be a spy) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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