This is one of the best -known short stories by Stepfan Zweig.

Reading it doesn’t take more than two hours, and the time you spend in the book is extremely enthralling.

We tend to describe specific things as enthralling, not so much periods of time.

The plot takes place ion an ocean liner going from NYew York to Argentina, where a pivotal chess tournament is about to take place.

"NY" will be understood but isn't good word choice, especially as it would typically refer to New York State. "NYC" would be better, though I would still find it too informal for my taste.

And among the passengers, one stands out from the rest, Czentovic, the world chess master.

"And" at the beginning of a sentence can sometimes be stylistically justified, but those are generally situations where you are writing very informally or in a certain literary style (e.g. mimicking Biblical language).

Czentovic is a bizarre type of guy, one of those monomaniacs who breathes and thinks about one thing only, and for him this thing is chess. Czentovic wais an attraction among the passengers, indeed. In fact, many wanted to try their hand playing a chess game against him, but of course, Czentovic waisn’'t up for this kind of nonsense, he thoughtbecause he thinks of himself as someone beyond the average and t. The only way he would accept a bet like that would be if some money were involved.

- When discussing fiction (or texts in general, outside of historical writing), you should generally use the present tense, as if things are happening in real time.
- "Indeed" doesn't function as a conjunction, so it introduced a run-on. It also is used more in the sense of reemphasizing a previously stated fact, rather than introducing outright new information.

In spite of his attitude, some passengers accepted and gave in to pay Czentovic good money to try their luck.

As it was expected, the games ended up being a piece of cake for Czentovic, who playeds alone against a bunch of amateurs.

However, the amateurs keep proposed another game, and finally another oning matches against Czentovic, leading up to the fateful game.

"Finally another one" doesn't make sense, and it also doesn't convey the fact that there is something special about this game.

And jJust when they weare going toabout give up all hope and make an unfortunate movement which would have costed them the game, something unexpected happeneds.

A mysterious man, someone nobody had noticed before, chimeds in and saidys “Don’t make that move!” At that moment, all the heads swiveled towards him asking for details, to which requirement t. This mysterious man gaives into this demand and beganins to explain to them why that movement wasould have been a bad choice and which movement they should make instead.

All the explanations madke sense, and the bunch of amateurs proceeded according to the instructions provided forby this unknown man.

Meanwhile Czentovic, haughty as usual, pretended nos to pay no attention to the discussion.

But, what was he is surprised when he realizeds the game hads taken an unexpected turn, to the point in which Czentovicthat he feelings cornered and, out of nowhere, slappeds the table when he sawees himself aton the brink of losing the game.

When this happened, everybody around the table was astounded.

"Around" sounds better with a complement in this situation.

Nobody expected such an outburst of the like from the champion, and Czentovic, knowing he wais risking his reputation, immediately proceededs to offer another game, this one for free.

To be Ccontinued… Who is this mysterious man versed in chess?

This is one of the best well-known short stories by Stepan Zweig.

Reading it doesn’t take more than two hours, and the time you spend in the book is extremely enthralling.

The plot takes place instory is about an ocean liner going from NY to Argentina where a pivotal chess tournament is about to take place.

When you say the story "takes place", you are immediately expected to give a location afterwards. Here, although you included a location, it's more of a description of the story.

And among the passengers, one stands out from the rest,: Czentovic, the world chess master.

Czentovic is a bizarre type of guy, one of those monomaniacs who breathes and thinks about one thing only, and for him, this thing is chess. Czentovic was an attraction among the passengers, indeedas many wanted to try their hand playing a chess game against him, but o. Of course, Czentovic wasn’t up for this kind of nonsense, since he thought of himself as someone beyond the average and the only way he would accept a bet like that would be if some money wereas involved.

I broke this sentence up a little bit because it's pretty long. I try to only use a maximum of two of the words like "and" "but" or "because" per sentence. When you have too much of these words, you should realize it and try to split the sentences up.
Money is singular, so I put "was" instead of "were"

As it was expected, the game ended up being a piece of cake for Czentovic who played alone against a bunch of amateurs.

However, the amateurs proposed another game, and finally another one.more and more challenges against Czentovic.

And jJust when they were going to give up all hope and make an unfortunate movement which would have costed them the game, something unexpected happened.

try to avoid starting a sentence with "and" - in normal speech it's fine, but it's not as stylish in writing

A mysterious man, that someone nobody had noticed before, chimed in and said “D, "don’t make that move!” At that moment, all the heads swivelturned towards him asking for details, to which requirement this. The mysterious man gave in to their request and began to explain to them why that movement was a bad choice, and which movement they should make instead.

All the explanations made sense, and the bunch of amateurs proceeded according to the instructions provided forby thise unknown man.

Meanwhile, Czentovic, haughty as usual, pretended no to pay no attention to the discussion.

But, what wasTo his surprise when, he realized the game had taken an unexpected turn, to the point in whichwhere Czentovic feelinglt cornered, and out of nowhere, he slapped the table when he saw himself at the brink of losing the game.

you started to use present tense here even though you were using past tense previously, so I changed the verbs to the right tense

When this happened, everybody around was astounded.

Nobody expected an outburst of the likelike this from the champion, and. Czentovic, knowing he was risking his reputation, immediately proceeded to offer another game, this one for free.

To be Ccontinued… Who is this mysterious man versed in chess?

These answers and more coming up in the next episode.