Nov. 9, 2021
The rain scene
Now that I am writing, it has been almost ten minutes that it has started to rain. From where I sat, on the edge of the window, I can see people who run to shelter underneath an awning of a café or a restaurant. I see a couple who stroll the street as slow as possible as if the sun is shining upon them and they’re relishing its warm beam on their body. I’m also witnessing a quarrel between two drivers fighting over a parking space; they are ruining the whole scene for me and that couple who now are kissing, but I’m sure they will reminisce this kiss, no matter which driver parks in that space. On the other side of the street, I see an old tree giving away its leaves to the wind. Bestowing them must have been hard for the tree; it’s been holding onto them for a season or two, it blew life to each of them. But who cares? Now the old tree is lush with the rain, it’s not sober, and tomorrow is too late for wanting the leaves back. The couple now has reached the old tree, the woman bends and takes a goldish leaf off the ground and gives it to the man, they laugh, I don’t see that, but I sense it; there must be laughter or at least a crack of a smile.
Now the street is empty. One of those drivers could defeat the other, and no one is passing by. It’s just me and the old tree, which seems dancing with its own leaves swaying all around it; there must be music out there that I can’t hear from where I sat.
The rain scene
Now that I am writing, it has been almost ten minutes that it has started to rain.
From where I sait, on the edge of the window, I can see people who run to shelter underneath an awning of a caféé or a restaurant.
The verb tense should match here. "From where I sat ... I could see people ..." or "From where I sit ... I can see people ...". Since you are using present tense for the rest of the post, maybe that's best here.
I see a couple who stroll down the street as slow as possible as if the sun is shining upon them and they’’re relishing its warm beam on their body.
Usually a preposition is needed for stroll, walk, etc.
I’’m also witnessing a quarrel between two drivers fighting over a parking space; they are ruining the whole scene for me and that couple who now are kissing, but I’’m sure they will reminisceember this kiss, no matter which driver parks in that space.
You can say that "they will remember this kiss", i.e. it's a moment they will not forget.
You can also say "they will reminisce about this kiss", i.e. they will think about it or talk about it some time later.
On the other side of the street, I see an old tree giving away its leaves to the wind.
BestowGiving them up must have been hard for the tree; it’’s been holding onto them for a season or two, i. It blew life to each of them.
"Bestowing" usually means giving a valuable gift to someone. It feels funny here to use it for leaves, given to the wind.
I also replaced a comma with a period since each side was a complete sentence.
But who cares?
Now the old tree is lush with the rain, it’’s not soberlemn, and tomorrow is too late for wanting the leaves back.
Sober is almost always used as the opposite of "drunk", so it's a bit odd here.
The couple now has reached the old tree, t. The woman bends and takes a goldish leaf off the ground and gives it to the man, t. They laugh, I don’’t see that, but I sense it; there must be laughter or at least a crack of a smile.
Split into multiple sentences.
Now the street is empty.
One of those drivers could defeat the other, and no one is passing by.
It’’s just me and the old tree, which seems to be dancing with its own leaves swaying all around it; there must be music out there that I can’’t hear from where I sait.
Added a missing "to be".
I also changed "sat" -> "sit" to make the verb tense consistent.
Feedback
It's a very nice post overall; it's kind of poetic! I mostly commented on funny word choices and usages that feel non-native.
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The rain scene This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Now that I am writing, it has been almost ten minutes that it has started to rain. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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From where I sat, on the edge of the window, I can see people who run to shelter underneath an awning of a café or a restaurant. From where I s The verb tense should match here. "From where I sat ... I could see people ..." or "From where I sit ... I can see people ...". Since you are using present tense for the rest of the post, maybe that's best here. |
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I see a couple who stroll the street as slow as possible as if the sun is shining upon them and they’re relishing its warm beam on their body. I see a couple who stroll down the street as slow as possible as if the sun is shining upon them and they Usually a preposition is needed for stroll, walk, etc. |
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I’m also witnessing a quarrel between two drivers fighting over a parking space; they are ruining the whole scene for me and that couple who now are kissing, but I’m sure they will reminisce this kiss, no matter which driver parks in that space. I You can say that "they will remember this kiss", i.e. it's a moment they will not forget. You can also say "they will reminisce about this kiss", i.e. they will think about it or talk about it some time later. |
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On the other side of the street, I see an old tree giving away its leaves to the wind. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Bestowing them must have been hard for the tree; it’s been holding onto them for a season or two, it blew life to each of them.
"Bestowing" usually means giving a valuable gift to someone. It feels funny here to use it for leaves, given to the wind. I also replaced a comma with a period since each side was a complete sentence. |
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But who cares? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Now the old tree is lush with the rain, it’s not sober, and tomorrow is too late for wanting the leaves back. Now the old tree is lush with the rain, it Sober is almost always used as the opposite of "drunk", so it's a bit odd here. |
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The couple now has reached the old tree, the woman bends and takes a goldish leaf off the ground and gives it to the man, they laugh, I don’t see that, but I sense it; there must be laughter or at least a crack of a smile. The couple now has reached the old tree Split into multiple sentences. |
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Now the street is empty. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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One of those drivers could defeat the other, and no one is passing by. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It’s just me and the old tree, which seems dancing with its own leaves swaying all around it; there must be music out there that I can’t hear from where I sat. It Added a missing "to be". I also changed "sat" -> "sit" to make the verb tense consistent. |
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