Sept. 21, 2024
THE PRODUCTION OF HYDROELECTRIC POWER USING RAINWATER.
Here is the link of the diagram:
https://www.suabaiieltswriting.com/blog/the-diagram-below-shows-the-process-of-using-water-to-generate-electricity-ielts
The diagram illustrates how rainwater is used to create electrical energy in a hydroelectric power center.
Overall, hydroelectric power production is a sophisticated process consisting of 5 main stages: evaporation, storing water high, letting water flow downhill to make electrical current, delivering the generated currents to consumers, and pumping water back uphill for reuse.
The process commences when seawater is heated by the sun and evaporates to form small clouds in the sky. Next, the clouds merge into a storm cloud, which then rains over the mountain. This rainwater is stored by a dam in an upper reservoir, which is connected to a turbine and a pump via a pie, which is controlled using a pipe. Once this valve is open, water flows into the turbine and rotates its blades to produce electrical power. The water is then pumped back to the upper reservoir for reuse, while the electricity generated by the turbine is delivered to a transformer station via high voltage cables. There, it is fed into underground cables, which transfer it to domestic and industrial consumers, as well as medical and educational facilities.
Here is the link of the diagram: https://www.suabaiieltswriting.com/blog/the-diagram-below-shows-the-process-of-using-water-to-generate-electricity-ielts The diagram illustrates how rainwater is used to create electrical energy in a hydroelectric power center.
Overall, hHydroelectric power production is a sophisticated process consisting of 5 main stages: evaporation, storing water high, letting water flow downhill to make electrical current, delivering the generated currents to consumers, and pumping water back uphill for reuse.
You can save concluding transitional statements like "Overall,"/"In summary,"/"In conclusion," at the end of your excerpt. If you are explaining a process, it is more natural to start off strong without a transitional word in the beginning of your excerpt.
The process commencebegins when seawater is heated by the sun and evaporates to form small clouds in the sky.
Although "commences" does mean "begin", but is typically used in the context of meetings, ceremonies, and projects.
Next, the clouds merge intogether to form a storm cloud, which thenproducing rains over the mountain.
Your initial sentence was technically correct, but it could use more fluidity when describing the process.
This rainwater is stored by a dam in an upper reservoir, which is connected to a turbine and a pump via a pie, whichthrough a pie that is controlled using a pipe.
"which" is used multiple times - even in the sentence beforehand. It can get too elongated, connecting too many ideas/moving parts.
The water is then pumped back to the upper reservoir for reuse, while the electricity generated by the turbine is delivered to a transformer station viathrough high voltage cables.
There, electricity is fed into underground cables, which transferring it to domestic and industrial consumers, as well as medical and educational facilities.
Re-state your topic. Again, "which is" can be avoided.
Feedback
It makes sense overall. Try to avoid over-using "which is". It will flow better, especially since this is describing a process. When describing a process, the best practice is to be more concrete in your statements.
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THE PRODUCTION OF HYDROELECTRIC POWER USING RAINWATER. |
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Overall, hydroelectric power production is a sophisticated process consisting of 5 main stages: evaporation, storing water high, letting water flow downhill to make electrical current, delivering the generated currents to consumers, and pumping water back uphill for reuse.
You can save concluding transitional statements like "Overall,"/"In summary,"/"In conclusion," at the end of your excerpt. If you are explaining a process, it is more natural to start off strong without a transitional word in the beginning of your excerpt. |
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The process commences when seawater is heated by the sun and evaporates to form small clouds in the sky. The process Although "commences" does mean "begin", but is typically used in the context of meetings, ceremonies, and projects. |
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Next, the clouds merge into a storm cloud, which then rains over the mountain. Next, the clouds merge Your initial sentence was technically correct, but it could use more fluidity when describing the process. |
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This rainwater is stored by a dam in an upper reservoir, which is connected to a turbine and a pump via a pie, which is controlled using a pipe. This rainwater is stored by a dam in an upper reservoir, which is connected to a turbine and a pump "which" is used multiple times - even in the sentence beforehand. It can get too elongated, connecting too many ideas/moving parts. |
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Once this valve is open, water flows into the turbine and rotates its blades to produce electrical power. |
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The diagram illustrates how rainwater is used to create electrical energy in a hydroelectric power center. |
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Here is the link of the diagram: https://www.suabaiieltswriting.com/blog/the-diagram-below-shows-the-process-of-using-water-to-generate-electricity-ielts The diagram illustrates how rainwater is used to create electrical energy in a hydroelectric power center. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The water is then pumped back to the upper reservoir for reuse, while the electricity generated by the turbine is delivered to a transformer station via high voltage cables. The water is then pumped back to the upper reservoir for reuse, while the electricity generated by the turbine is delivered to a transformer station |
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There, it is fed into underground cables, which transfer it to domestic and industrial consumers, as well as medical and educational facilities. The Re-state your topic. Again, "which is" can be avoided. |
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