The Problems of a Smoker

As adults, we used to think that we're wise and experienced, and that nothing in the world could surprise us anymore. By achieving career goals and accomplishing difficult tasks, we falsely assume that we're fully prepared for any obstacles coming our way. However, no matter how confident we feel about ourselves, sometimes it turns out that we’re not that skilled at dealing with simple blocks.

Let’s take me as an example. While I enjoy thinking that I’m in full control of my actions, it’s not really true. I may believe that my willpower is enough to nail anything, whether it's taking yoga classes or stopping smoking. However, my stamina is less strong than I’d like to think.

Speaking of smoking, you should see my hopeless efforts to get rid of this harmful habit. Regardless of my righteous intentions, I successfully find justifications for another roll time after time. When it comes to finding reasons to inhale a cig one more time, I come up with brilliant ideas. Sometimes I tell myself that I’m too tired and can let myself a little indulgence, at other times I simply give up. There are moments when I tell myself that life is already hard enough, so it’s not worth it to consider stopping smoking.

The important thing here is that I love the ritual of smoking, and that is what makes it so difficult to stop. The very thought of this little treat alone prompts me towards buying a new pack of cigarettes. Which means it’s becoming more and more difficult to break this vicious cycle. Once I come up with a reason, it gets easier to think of another reason another time. There are many ways to deceive ourselves while still believing in our innocence, I can tell you. By how quickly my mood becoming worse, you can guess how long I haven’t been smoking. Which means staying far away from me and not asking questions is your smart decision at this time. But after I give up one more time and smoke a cig..Boom, I’m again a normal, friendly person.

The friends with whom I talked about smoking were divided into two groups: those who feel guilty about smoking and those who don’t. Although I try to listen more to those who regret smoking, when I’m out of cigarettes, I predictably run to second ones. One question that concerns me the most — what is worse, smoke and regret about it, suffering from the quilt, or enjoying smoking in a full way and forget about regrets? Neither of these options is the best, of course, since I would prefer not to smoke at all, but it is what it is.

One friend giving me another cigarette told me “I don’t care about smoking because life is unpredictable. There’s much more chances I’ll be killed by a truck than die from cigs.” It sounds not so optimistic, but at least he doesn’t feel guilty about smoking, like me. While rolling a joint, he often considers different arguments in favor of smoking or non-smoking. It may sound strange, but in his opinion, the biggest disadvantage of non-smoking is not bad teeth or even cancer, but boredom. “There you are sitting at your desk and it’s time to take a break. You stand up, and.. What will you do? Oh well, you’ll make a coffee.”

Sometimes I think his favourite activity is smoking. I mean, I have trouble understanding how you can justify your decision to smoke, but he does it time after time. He spends a lot of time on his balcony, puffing smoke and lecturing his guests about the benefits of that habit. You may not believe me, but they often leave the balcony looking happier than when they came in. Looking at him, I really don’t know what’s what anymore. Never had worries about the real, long-term consequences of smoking crossed his mind. Not only doesn't he worry about smoking, but he also enjoys it. While I’m wondering how to defeat my habit and coming up with all kinds of excuses, he simply doesn’t care about that. Really, why do I create all these justifications? Maybe I luck not energy or willpower to stop smoking, but simply courage to smoke without guilt? In that respect, my friend seems much happier than me.

As adults, we think that we're wise and experienced, and that nothing in the world could surprise us anymore. By achieving career goals and accomplishing difficult tasks, we falsely assume that we're fully prepared for any obstacles coming our way. However, no matter how confident we feel about ourselves, sometimes it turns out that we’re not that skilled at dealing with simple problems.

Let’s take myself as an example. While I enjoy thinking that I’m in full control of my actions, it’s not really true. I may believe that my willpower is enough to do anything, whether it's taking yoga classes or stopping smoking. However, my stamina is less strong than I’d like to think.

Speaking of smoking, you should see my hopeless efforts to get rid of this harmful habit. Regardless of my righteous intentions, I successfully find justifications for another roll time after time. When it comes to finding reasons to inhale a cig one more time, I come up with brilliant ideas. Sometimes I tell myself that I’m too tired and can indulge myself a little, while at other times I simply give up. There are moments when I tell myself that life is already hard enough, so it’s not worth it to consider stopping smoking.

The important thing here is that I love the ritual of smoking, and that is what makes it so difficult to stop. The very thought of this little treat alone prompts me towards buying a new pack of cigarettes. This means it’s becoming more and more difficult to break this vicious cycle. Once I come up with a reason, it gets easier to think of another reason another time. There are many ways to deceive ourselves while still believing in our willpower, I can tell you. By how quickly my mood became worse, you can guess how long I haven’t been smoking. This means staying far away from me and not asking questions is a smart decision at this time. But after I give up one more time and smoke a cig... Boom, I’m once again a normal, friendly person.

The friends with whom I talked about smoking were divided into two groups: those who feel guilty about smoking and those who don’t. Although I try to listen more to those who regret smoking, when I’m out of cigarettes, I predictably run to the latter. One question that concerns me the most—what is worse, to smoke and regret it, suffering from the guilt, or enjoying smoking in a full way, and forgetting about regrets? Neither of these options is the best, of course, since I would prefer not to smoke at all, but it is what it is.

One friend giving me another cigarette told me “I don’t care about smoking because life is unpredictable. There are much more chances I’ll be killed by a truck than die from cigs.” It sounds not so optimistic, but at least he doesn’t feel guilty about smoking, like me. While rolling a joint, he often considers different arguments in favor of smoking or non-smoking. It may sound strange, but in his opinion, the biggest disadvantage of non-smoking is not bad teeth or even cancer, but boredom. “There you are sitting at your desk and it’s time to take a break. You stand up, and.. What will you do? Oh well, you’ll make a coffee.”

Sometimes I think his favourite activity is smoking. I mean, I have trouble understanding how you can justify your decision to smoke, but he does it time after time. He spends a lot of time on his balcony, puffing smoke and lecturing his guests about the benefits of that habit. You may not believe me, but they often leave the balcony looking happier than when they came in. Looking at him, I really don’t know what’s what anymore. Never had worries about the real, long-term consequences of smoking crossed his mind. Not only doesn't he worry about smoking, but he also enjoys it. While I’m wondering how to defeat my habit and coming up with all kinds of excuses, he simply doesn’t care about that. Really, why do I create all these justifications? Maybe I lack not energy or willpower to stop smoking, but simply courage to smoke without guilt? In that respect, my friend seems much happier than me.