anton_rich's avatar
anton_rich

Sept. 4, 2020

0
The Photo Essay I Would Like to Make

I have to admit that I didn't about essays in a photo format. This was a discovery I made today.

So, what kind of photo essay would I like to make?

Preferably, I would like to capture my walks in the neighborhood I live. These past years I have started to notice how green is the city I live in. When I go out for a walk or a jog I started noticing all the flowers and trees and private houses that integrate with nature so well. I wish I could captured it all, however, right now I don't have the camera that I desire.

Hopefully, in the future I will have a phone with a good quality camera that will help me capture this majestic beauty. I would prefer a phone camera as it is more convenient to bring it around and snap some photos on the fly.

I believe it is possible now to take crystal-clear photos with your phone. A friend of mine recently had shown me his brand-new phone and what kind of photos he takes. I was flabbergasted.

Corrections

The Photo Essay I Would Like to Make

I have to admit that I didn't know about essays in a photo format.

This sentence was missing a verb. I guessed you meant to write "know" based upon the following sentence.

This was a discovery I made today.

So, what kind of photo essay would I like to make?

Preferably, I would like to capture my walks in the neighborhood where I live.

These past years I have started to notice how green is the city I live in.

When I goGoing out for a walk or a jog, I have started noticing all the flowers and trees and private houses that integrate with nature so well.

This correction brings the verb tenses "go out" and "started noticing" into agreement with each other, in terms of ordering according to time.

I wish I could captured it all, however, right now I don't have the camera that I desire.

Hopefully, in the future I will have a phone with a good quality camera that will help me capture this majestic beauty.

I would prefer a phone camera as it is more convenient to bringcarry it around and snap some photos on the fly.

"bring" => move something from one place to another
"carry" => move something without any specific destination in mind

I believe it is now possible now to take crystal-clear photos with your phone.

A friend of mine had recently had shown me his brand-new phone and whatthe kind of photos he takes.

I was flabbergasted.

Feedback

Excellent overall. Grammatical errors are minor. A native speaker would have no trouble understanding the text, with the exception of the first sentence. It was grammatically incorrect and did not make sense.

anton_rich's avatar
anton_rich

Sept. 22, 2020

0

Machael thank you for you corrections and generous comments.

The Photo Essay I Would Like to Make

I have to admit that I didn't know about essays in a photo format.

This was a discovery I made today.

So, what kind of photo essay would I like to make?

Preferably, I would like to capture my walks in the neighborhood I live in.

These past years I have started to notice how green is the city I live in is.

When Iever I would go out for a walk or a jog, I started noticing all the flowers and, trees, and private houses that integrate with nature so well.

I wish I could captured it all, h. However, right now I don't have the camera that I desire.

Splitting it into two sentences make the emphasis in the first part stronger and makes the punctuation overall less intricate. Also, I don't think "right now" is necessary, since "don't have" is present tense.

Hopefully, in the future I will have a phone with a good quality camera that will help me capture this majestic beauty.

I would prefer a phone camera as it is more convenient to bring it aroundnywhere and snap some photos on the fly.

I think "anywhere" is better than "around" because when reading it I kept thinking "around where?" If you want to keep "around" maybe something like "around my city" so it fits right.

I believe it is now possible now to take crystal-clear photos with your phone.

A friend of mine recently had showned me his brand-new phone and what kind of photos he takes.

I was flabbergasted.

Feedback

Great job!

anton_rich's avatar
anton_rich

Sept. 22, 2020

0

Thank you for helping out!

The Photo Essay I Would Like to Make


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I have to admit that I didn't about essays in a photo format.


I have to admit that I didn't know about essays in a photo format.

I have to admit that I didn't know about essays in a photo format.

This sentence was missing a verb. I guessed you meant to write "know" based upon the following sentence.

This was a discovery I made today.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

So, what kind of photo essay would I like to make?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Preferably, I would like to capture my walks in the neighborhood I live.


Preferably, I would like to capture my walks in the neighborhood I live in.

Preferably, I would like to capture my walks in the neighborhood where I live.

These past years I have started to notice how green is the city I live in.


These past years I have started to notice how green is the city I live in is.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

When I go out for a walk or a jog I started noticing all the flowers and trees and private houses that integrate with nature so well.


When Iever I would go out for a walk or a jog, I started noticing all the flowers and, trees, and private houses that integrate with nature so well.

When I goGoing out for a walk or a jog, I have started noticing all the flowers and trees and private houses that integrate with nature so well.

This correction brings the verb tenses "go out" and "started noticing" into agreement with each other, in terms of ordering according to time.

I wish I could captured it all, however, right now I don't have the camera that I desire.


I wish I could captured it all, h. However, right now I don't have the camera that I desire.

Splitting it into two sentences make the emphasis in the first part stronger and makes the punctuation overall less intricate. Also, I don't think "right now" is necessary, since "don't have" is present tense.

I wish I could captured it all, however, right now I don't have the camera that I desire.

Hopefully, in the future I will have a phone with a good quality camera that will help me capture this majestic beauty.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I would prefer a phone camera as it is more convenient to bring it around and snap some photos on the fly.


I would prefer a phone camera as it is more convenient to bring it aroundnywhere and snap some photos on the fly.

I think "anywhere" is better than "around" because when reading it I kept thinking "around where?" If you want to keep "around" maybe something like "around my city" so it fits right.

I would prefer a phone camera as it is more convenient to bringcarry it around and snap some photos on the fly.

"bring" => move something from one place to another "carry" => move something without any specific destination in mind

I believe it is possible now to take crystal-clear photos with your phone.


I believe it is now possible now to take crystal-clear photos with your phone.

I believe it is now possible now to take crystal-clear photos with your phone.

A friend of mine recently had shown me his brand-new phone and what kind of photos he takes.


A friend of mine recently had showned me his brand-new phone and what kind of photos he takes.

A friend of mine had recently had shown me his brand-new phone and whatthe kind of photos he takes.

I was flabbergasted.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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