Nov. 29, 2020
The other day I meet this guy.
The other day I meet this guy, two or three blocks from here. He wanted a cig and then he stood there, whistling, looking at me. "How it's going?" He asked me, as he watched a teenager get on the bus at the end of the street. Then he stared at me. "Pretty good, I suppose." I replied. He sucked the cigarette in and exhaled the smoke out through his nose. "You don't remember me, do you?", he said. "Sorry, I don't. Do we know each other from somewhere?", "Well, not yet mate, but, we'll do it, we'll do it soon." Then he threw the butt on the street, crushed it with his foot, greeted me and disappeared among the cars.
The other day I meet this guy.
The other day I meet this guy, two or three blocks from where I live.
Where is "here?" It's not clear what place you're referring to with "here."
"How it's going?" he asked me as he watched a teenager get on the bus at the other end of the street.
He asked me, as he watched a teenager get on the bus at the end of the street.
"Pretty good, I suppose." I replied.
I replied.
Then he threw the butt on the street, crushed it with his foot, greeted looked at me one last time and disappeared among the cars.
To "greet" is usually at the beginning of a meeting not an end. I'm not sure what you meant by "greeted," so I added "looked at me one last time" for it.
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An interesting encounter. I hope you didn't feel unsafe or uncomfortable through this kind of encounter.
Nov. 30, 2020
It's just a literary exercise, so to speak. My life isn't really that interesting. Thanks for the correction.
The other day I meet this guy.
The other day I meet this guy, two or three blocks from here.
He wanted a cig and then he stood there, whistling, looking at me.
"How it's going?"
Hhe asked (me), as he watched a teenager get on the bus at the end of the street.
"He asked" is the "tag line" to the question, so it's treated as part of the same unit and isn't capitalized to begin a new sentence.
Then he stared at me.
"Pretty good, I suppose.,"
Periods are replaced by commas if the tag line (here, "I replied") ends the sentence.
I replied.
He sucked the cigarette in and exhaled the smoke (out) through his nose.
"Exhaled" seems to already imply "out," so "out" sounds extraneous here.
"You don't remember me, do you?
", he said.
"Sorry, I don't.
Do we know each other from somewhere?
", "Well, not yet mate, but, we'll do it, we'll do it soon."
You may also want to set this off on a different line since it's by a different speaker, but if not, you should simply include a space between the quotes.
Then he threw the butt on the street, crushed it with his foot, greeted mbade me goodbye and disappeared among the cars.
"Greet" is only for the beginning of an interaction and can't be used for the end.
Feedback
Welcome to LangCorrect!
It may be helpful to review the rules of punctuating dialogue, with a resource such as this one: https://www.unr.edu/writing-speaking-center/student-resources/writing-speaking-resources/dialogue-punctuation It's possible to pick up the rules from reading a lot, but especially for a non-native speaker who isn't completely proficient yet, learning them formally can be beneficial.
Nov. 30, 2020
Thanks, really, I will see that.
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The other day I meet this guy. The other day I me The other day I me |
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The other day I meet this guy, two or three blocks from here. The other day I me The other day I me Where is "here?" It's not clear what place you're referring to with "here." |
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He wanted a cig and then he stood there, whistling, looking at me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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"How it's going?" This sentence has been marked as perfect! "How it's going?" he asked me as he watched a teenager get on the bus at the other end of the street. |
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He asked me, as he watched a teenager get on the bus at the end of the street.
"He asked" is the "tag line" to the question, so it's treated as part of the same unit and isn't capitalized to begin a new sentence.
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Then he stared at me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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"Pretty good, I suppose." "Pretty good, I suppose Periods are replaced by commas if the tag line (here, "I replied") ends the sentence. "Pretty good, I suppose |
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I replied. This sentence has been marked as perfect!
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He sucked the cigarette in and exhaled the smoke out through his nose. He sucked the cigarette in and exhaled the smoke (out) through his nose. "Exhaled" seems to already imply "out," so "out" sounds extraneous here. |
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"You don't remember me, do you? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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", he said. " |
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"Sorry, I don't. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Do we know each other from somewhere? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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", "Well, not yet mate, but, we'll do it, we'll do it soon." " You may also want to set this off on a different line since it's by a different speaker, but if not, you should simply include a space between the quotes. |
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Then he threw the butt on the street, crushed it with his foot, greeted me and disappeared among the cars. Then he threw the butt on the street, crushed it with his foot, "Greet" is only for the beginning of an interaction and can't be used for the end. Then he threw the butt on the street, crushed it with his foot, To "greet" is usually at the beginning of a meeting not an end. I'm not sure what you meant by "greeted," so I added "looked at me one last time" for it. |
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