kiwy's avatar
kiwy

July 22, 2021

0
The Moon

When I was riding my bike at dusk, I looked up and saw the moon in the east, which was round and light yellow in the light blue sky. Coincidentally, I talked about the moon with a lilltle boy earlier.
I like the moon. I like all shapes of it. I also like the moonlight. When it comes through the window and visits my room, it is so soft and bright. It is also quiet, as an old friend accompanying you, you don't need to talk but just do what you want.
Years ago, when I was a high school student, I was in my summer holiday. One day, I thought the moon was so beautiful and the moonlight was so bright that I can walked on the road which without streetlight. Then I decided to visited my elementary school which was beside a river. Because I thouht the school would be also beautiful under the moonlight. So, I rode my bike to start my trip. When I turned right at a corner of the centeral town, a river came to my eyes. The floor of the road was bright, the river was flowing quietly. Wow, what a beautiful night! I thought. Seconds later, I heard some strange noise, which made me a little scared. But I kept going on. I heard the noise clear soon. It was the noise of a funeral, which was held not far from me, it was on the right side of the road and beside the hospital. The sounds of suona (a kind of instrument) was horrible. It felt like a dracular/horror movie. What's worse, this was the only road to the school and there was merely nobody lived along the road. I was too scared to go on, so I turned back and never visited the elementary school at night alone.

Corrections

The Moon

When I was riding my bike at dusk, I looked up and saw the moon in the east, which was round and light yellow in the light blue sky.

Coincidentally, I had talked about the moon with a lillttle boy earlier.

Years ago, when I was a high school student, I was ion my summer holiday.

One day, I thounight, the moon was so beautiful and the moonlight was so bright that I canould walked on the road which without streetlight.

Then I decided to visited my elementary school which was beside a river.

Combine this sentence and the next one

Because I thought the school would be also beautiful under the moonlight.

So, I rode my bike to start my trip.the school

When I turned right at a corner ofin the town centeral town, a river came into my eyessight.

The floor of the road was bright, the river was flowing quietly.

Roads don't have floors in English

I heard the noise clearly soon.

It was the noisesound of a funeral, which was held not far from me, i. It was on the right side of the road and beside the hospital.

The sounds of a suona (a kind of instrument) was horrible.

It felt like a dracular/horror movie.

What's worse, this was the only road to the school and there was merely nobody lived along the road.

I was too scared to go on, so I turned back and never visited the elementary school alone at night alonegain.

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dadaclonefly's avatar
dadaclonefly

July 22, 2021

0

Edits

The Moon


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

When I was riding my bike at dusk, I looked up and saw the moon in the east, which was round and light yellow in the light blue sky.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Coincidentally, I talked about the moon with a lilltle boy earlier.


Coincidentally, I had talked about the moon with a lillttle boy earlier.

I like the moon.


I like all shapes of it.


I also like the moonlight.


When it comes through the window and visits my room, it is so soft and bright.


It is also quiet, as an old friend accompanying you, you don't need to talk but just do what you want.


Years ago, when I was a high school student, I was in my summer holiday.


Years ago, when I was a high school student, I was ion my summer holiday.

One day, I thought the moon was so beautiful and the moonlight was so bright that I can walked on the road which without streetlight.


One day, I thounight, the moon was so beautiful and the moonlight was so bright that I canould walked on the road which without streetlight.

Then I decided to visited my elementary school which was beside a river.


Then I decided to visited my elementary school which was beside a river.

Combine this sentence and the next one

Because I thouht the school would be also beautiful under the moonlight.


Because I thought the school would be also beautiful under the moonlight.

So, I rode my bike to start my trip.


So, I rode my bike to start my trip.the school

When I turned right at a corner of the centeral town, a river came to my eyes.


When I turned right at a corner ofin the town centeral town, a river came into my eyessight.

The floor of the road was bright, the river was flowing quietly.


The floor of the road was bright, the river was flowing quietly.

Roads don't have floors in English

Wow, what a beautiful night!


I thought.


Seconds later, I heard some strange noise, which made me a little scared.


But I kept going on.


I heard the noise clear soon.


I heard the noise clearly soon.

It was the noise of a funeral, which was held not far from me, it was on the right side of the road and beside the hospital.


It was the noisesound of a funeral, which was held not far from me, i. It was on the right side of the road and beside the hospital.

The sounds of suona (a kind of instrument) was horrible.


The sounds of a suona (a kind of instrument) was horrible.

It felt like a dracular/horror movie.


It felt like a dracular/horror movie.

What's worse, this was the only road to the school and there was merely nobody lived along the road.


What's worse, this was the only road to the school and there was merely nobody lived along the road.

I was too scared to go on, so I turned back and never visited the elementary school at night alone.


I was too scared to go on, so I turned back and never visited the elementary school alone at night alonegain.

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