Jan. 14, 2022
The footprints I have to step in
I can't come up with a nice story, so I have to tell you guys about a very funny story someone wrote on this platform read half an hour ago.
In this story, the protagonist gave his audience a wonderful musical performance. But I really don't know much about it. However, I think It wasn't only a great and big piece of musical history but also of modern art itself. After he had made his appearance on the stage, his old teacher showed a breathtaking performance by himself to keep the show at its high level. He drank some liquids which I don't know of and puked on the stage. While it's truly an impressive act, the author of the journal which I am referring to also made a point that the teacher was criticizing modern society. In this regard I have to acknowledge the effort he had put in to prove his point. At this moment I am remembering my own teachers back at my school. When my school class was in the 12th grade we had to make a show as well. We decided that it would be best to do some parody sketches (short act performances) where we showed the audience which specific habits the teachers had at that time. For instance, we`ve shown how they react with the class when there was a certain inquietude or how the teachers were moving their hands while talking. Therefore we've done many observations and some of them you can find online on youtube as well.
After we've held the performance there were 2 teachers who were outraged. One of them also left the performance while it was ongoing. The next week both were shouting at us for a long time. To be honest, we weren't that harsh on them, so we couldn't understand their point. Also, the most teachers which we had portrayed were excited, enthusiastic, and thrilled to have seen this.
But all in all, there weren't any consequences for our class, as this was the end of our school days with these teachers.
Thank you for reading and correcting!
Yours
Richard
I can't come up with a nice story, so I have to tell you guys about a very funny story someone else wrote on this platform readthat I read about half an hour ago.
But I really don't know much about it.
No Buts to start! :)
However, I think It wasn't only a great and bigthat not only was it a great piece of musical history, but also of modern art itself.
great and big sounds strange.
After he had made his appearance on the stageperformed, his old teacher showedmade a breathtaking solo performance by himself to keep the show at itsa high level.
To finish off the show. Would sound better.
He drank some liquids which I don't know ofunknown liquids, (ate two pizzas!), and puked oin thea bucket on stage.
While it'this is truly an impressive act, the author of the journal which I am referring to also made a point that the teacher was criticizsing modern society.
criticizing with a z is american so it just looks wrong to me! it's technically usable though.
In this regard, I have to acknowledge the effort he had put in to prove his point.
At this moment I am remembering my own teachers back at my school.
It's grammatically correct but a native would say it like:
Now I'm thinking back to teachers that I had during my school days.
When my school class waswe were in the 12th grade we had to makeput on a show as well.
We decided that it would be best to do some parody sketches (short actbrief performance scenes) where we showed the audience which specific habits the teachers had at that time.
everyone would know what sketches are so theres no need to specify.
For instance, we`ve showned how they react with the class when there was a certain inquietudedisruption or how the teachers were movingmoved their hands while talking.
inquietude is a word i've never heard of!
Therefore we've donWe made many observations and some of them you can find online on youtube as well.
Therefore is very formal/oldfashioned and can simply be omitted.
After we've held the performance there were 2(two) teachers who were outraged.
In an essay scenario, you would write small numbers like two as the word instead of the digit 2.
One of them also leftwalked out of the performance hall while ithe show was ongoing.
The next week both werethey shoutinged at us for a long time.
Also, the most of the teachers which we had portrayed were excited, enthusiastic, and thrilled to have seen this.
excited, enthusiastic, and thrilled can just be simplified to one adjective.
You could also write, most of the teachers reacted positively to our portrayals of them.
But aAll in all, there weren't any major consequences for our class, as this was the end of our school days with these teachersafter our classes had finished.
Noo Buts!
I simplified the second bit!
Feedback
Well done! :)
Gutted I can't find the video of the performance. It might have been taken down for offending public decency!
Words like 'therefore' and 'henceforth' etc are quite formal and wouldn't be used in casual conversation, mostly they are used in argumentative essays and the like. 'For instance' is casual enough to be used in conversation.
Keep it up!
Jan. 14, 2022
Thank you for your correction! I really don't know why I have been using "but" again to start a sentence. I also have to get rid of the word "therefore" It's not the first time I hear that it is too formal.
I did a lot of mistakes with the past tense. Got to read about past tenses tomorrow as well.
Thank you very much for looking though! I would have liked to see it, it's not a problem you couldn't find it.
Richard
Jan. 14, 2022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXat0IeZY58&ab_channel=IainFindlay-Walsh
i misremembered some of the details but there it is!
Jan. 15, 2022
Wonderful! Thank you very much for the research. I am glad you found it!
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The footprints I have to step in |
|
I can't come up with a nice story, so I have to tell you guys about a very funny story someone wrote on this platform read half an hour ago. I can't come up with a nice story, so I have to tell you guys about a very funny story someone else wrote on this platform |
|
In this story, the protagonist gave his audience a wonderful musical performance. |
|
But I really don't know much about it.
No Buts to start! :) |
|
However, I think It wasn't only a great and big piece of musical history but also of modern art itself. However, I think great and big sounds strange. |
|
After he had made his appearance on the stage, his old teacher showed a breathtaking performance by himself to keep the show at its high level. After he had To finish off the show. Would sound better. |
|
He drank some liquids which I don't know of and puked on the stage. He drank some |
|
While it's truly an impressive act, the author of the journal which I am referring to also made a point that the teacher was criticizing modern society. While criticizing with a z is american so it just looks wrong to me! it's technically usable though. |
|
In this regard I have to acknowledge the effort he had put in to prove his point. In this regard, I have to acknowledge the effort he had put in to prove his point. |
|
At this moment I am remembering my own teachers back at my school. At this moment I am remembering my own teachers back at my school. It's grammatically correct but a native would say it like: Now I'm thinking back to teachers that I had during my school days. |
|
When my school class was in the 12th grade we had to make a show as well. When |
|
We decided that it would be best to do some parody sketches (short act performances) where we showed the audience which specific habits the teachers had at that time. We decided that it would be best to do some parody sketches ( everyone would know what sketches are so theres no need to specify. |
|
For instance, we`ve shown how they react with the class when there was a certain inquietude or how the teachers were moving their hands while talking. For instance, we inquietude is a word i've never heard of! |
|
Therefore we've done many observations and some of them you can find online on youtube as well.
Therefore is very formal/oldfashioned and can simply be omitted. |
|
After we've held the performance there were 2 teachers who were outraged. After we In an essay scenario, you would write small numbers like two as the word instead of the digit 2. |
|
One of them also left the performance while it was ongoing. One of them also |
|
The next week both were shouting at us for a long time. The next week |
|
To be honest, we weren't that harsh on them, so we couldn't understand their point. |
|
Also, the most teachers which we had portrayed were excited, enthusiastic, and thrilled to have seen this. Also, excited, enthusiastic, and thrilled can just be simplified to one adjective. You could also write, most of the teachers reacted positively to our portrayals of them. |
|
But all in all, there weren't any consequences for our class, as this was the end of our school days with these teachers.
Noo Buts! I simplified the second bit! |
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Thank you for reading and correcting! |
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Yours |
|
Richard |
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