June 18, 2021
The fan [NSFW]
Tha fan is whirling. The noise is insufferable, and the little good it does disipating the heat... just isn't worth it. Flies clouding the light from the window, mudding the view of the palm trees outside, blocking the sun's reflection from the pond, a pond overflowing with life. Filthy, awful life.
A letter. I would lie if i tell you it's on my desk, that the content is making me nervous, that the sentences ruined my life, that the phrasing turned my bones to ice, that the signature turned my life around, maybe for good, but most certainly for bad, sending my consciousness to a spiral of madness, making my hearing whistle, painfully, and my sight whirl, making me dizzy and nauseous, just as the fan over my head, spinning round and round, making the foul odor reach every crack of this rustic, lovely cabin.
But it didn't, because I didn't read it. I didn't have to; just a glance at the envelope and I already know it's from her. It's been sitting there for a while now... maybe a few months. What did she wanted to say? It doesn't matter now, I'm sure it's late. Maybe she tried to say she hates me? I'd love that, wouldn't I? An easy exit, a justification, just the thing I needed to let me to look at myself at the cristal clear pond, just me at the mirror-like water, like a fairy tale, my face would look back at me through the water, understanding and kind. But all I see is the brown mud at the bottom.
And that's because she wouldn't say that. She did loved me, I'm certain of it. I'm sure the letter reads "My dear", I'm sure she uses that pet-name I find so corny, so annoying, so embarrasing... but somehow, also calming. I'm sure it reads "don't leave me", even though I already did; that "eternally yours" is the way she ends it.
Not impressed? Let me tell you, then, that I also know what she wanted to say.
"I found you", "I'm coming", "Wait for me", "We'll be together forever". She might also said something like "I'll be there at noon", and also "I want to name him Abel, just like you". She was like that. I know all this because she lies in my floor now, wearing her favorite summer dress, once white, now turned red from the crimson contents spilled through her overgrown belly, stabbed twice.
I'm certain that's what she wrote, but i can't prove it because I'll never open the letter, just as I will never turn that fan off.
The fan [NSFW]
Tha fan is whirling.
The noise is insufferable, and the little good it does dissipating the heat... just isn't worth it.
Flies clouding the light from the window, muddobscuring the view of the palm trees outside, blocking the sun's reflection from the pond, a pond overflowing with life.
"Muddying" is specifically used when something is blocked due to mud, so "obscuring" is a bit more generic
Filthy, awful life.
A letter.
I would liebe lying if iI tell you it's on my desk, that the content iss are making me nervous, that the sentences ruined my life, that the phrasing turned my bones to ice, that the signature turned my life around, maybe for good, but most certainly for bad, sending my consciousness to a spiral of madness, making my hearing whistle, painfully, and my sight whirl, making me dizzy and nauseous, just as the fan over my head, spinning round and round, making the foul odor reach every crack of this rustic, lovely cabin.
This is more writing advice, but you're better off staying with one tense throughout the entire piece unless you explicitly reference something in the past in a flashback, or something in the future in a flashforward. It's not grammatically incorrect to do so, however.
But it didn't, because I didn't read it.
I didn't have to; just a glance at the envelope and I already know it's from her.
It's been sitting there for a while now... maybe a few months.
What did she wanted to say?
It doesn't matter now, I'm sure it's latetoo late now.
Maybe she tried to say she hates me?
I'd love that, wouldn't I?
An easy exit, a justification, just the thing I needed to let me to look at myself at the criystal clear pond, just me at the mirror-like water,; and like a fairy tale, my face would look back at me through the water, understanding and kind.
But all I see is the brown mud at the bottom.
And that's because she wouldn't say that.
She did loved me, I'm certain of it.
I'm sure the letter reads "My dear", I'm sure she uses that pet-name I find so corny, so annoying, so embarrassing... but somehow, also calming.
I'm sure it reads "don't leave me", even though I already did; that "eternally yours" is the way she ends it.
Not impressed?
Let me tell you, then, that I also know what she wanted to say.
"I found you", "I'm coming", "Wait for me", "We'll be together forever".
She might also said something like "I'll be there at noon", and also "I want to name him Abel, just like you".
She was like that.
I know all this because she lies in my floor now, wearing her favorite summer dress, once white, now turned red from the crimson contents spilled through her overgrown belly, stabbed twice.
I'm certain that's what she wrote, but iI can't prove it because I'll never open the letter, just as I will never turn that fan off.
Feedback
That plot twist though
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The fan [NSFW] This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Tha fan is whirling. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The noise is insufferable, and the little good it does disipating the heat... just isn't worth it. The noise is insufferable, and the little good it does dissipating the heat... just isn't worth it. |
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Flies clouding the light from the window, mudding the view of the palm trees outside, blocking the sun's reflection from the pond, a pond overflowing with life. Flies clouding the light from the window, "Muddying" is specifically used when something is blocked due to mud, so "obscuring" is a bit more generic |
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Filthy, awful life. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A letter. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I would lie if i tell you it's on my desk, that the content is making me nervous, that the sentences ruined my life, that the phrasing turned my bones to ice, that the signature turned my life around, maybe for good, but most certainly for bad, sending my consciousness to a spiral of madness, making my hearing whistle, painfully, and my sight whirl, making me dizzy and nauseous, just as the fan over my head, spinning round and round, making the foul odor reach every crack of this rustic, lovely cabin. I would This is more writing advice, but you're better off staying with one tense throughout the entire piece unless you explicitly reference something in the past in a flashback, or something in the future in a flashforward. It's not grammatically incorrect to do so, however. |
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But it didn't, because I didn't read it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I didn't have to; just a glance at the envelope and I already know it's from her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's been sitting there for a while now... maybe a few months. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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What did she wanted to say? What did she want |
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It doesn't matter now, I'm sure it's late. It doesn't matter now, I'm sure it's |
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Maybe she tried to say she hates me? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I'd love that, wouldn't I? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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An easy exit, a justification, just the thing I needed to let me to look at myself at the cristal clear pond, just me at the mirror-like water, like a fairy tale, my face would look back at me through the water, understanding and kind. An easy exit, a justification, just the thing I needed to let me to look at myself at the cr |
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But all I see is the brown mud at the bottom. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And that's because she wouldn't say that. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She did loved me, I'm certain of it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I'm sure the letter reads "My dear", I'm sure she uses that pet-name I find so corny, so annoying, so embarrasing... but somehow, also calming. I'm sure the letter reads "My dear", I'm sure she uses that pet-name I find so corny, so annoying, so embar |
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I'm sure it reads "don't leave me", even though I already did; that "eternally yours" is the way she ends it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Not impressed? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Let me tell you, then, that I also know what she wanted to say. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
"I found you", "I'm coming", "Wait for me", "We'll be together forever". This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She might also said something like "I'll be there at noon", and also "I want to name him Abel, just like you". This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She was like that. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I know all this because she lies in my floor now, wearing her favorite summer dress, once white, now turned red from the crimson contents spilled through her overgrown belly, stabbed twice. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I'm certain that's what she wrote, but i can't prove it because I'll never open the letter, just as I will never turn that fan off. I'm certain that's what she wrote, but |
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