May 26, 2024
The Crusade and Jerusalem
Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read:
In June 1099, the Crusaders finally reached a point where they could see Jerusalem in the distance.
The lords knelt reverently and removed their helmets as if they were inside a church. Knights and soldiers alike were trembling with emotion, choking with tears of joy.
The Jerusalem they had heard about repeatedly since birth was now before their eyes.
In that moment, everyone became humble pilgrims. The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning disappeared.
I too once traveled to Jerusalem overland from Cairo, and I had a similar thought: "This is the Jerusalem mentioned in Fauré's Requiem."
And I also thought, "What a wilderness this is!.
最近読んだ本の中から抜粋。
1099年６月十字軍はついにエルサレムを遠望する地に到達した。諸侯たちはまるで教会の中でも入ったかのようにうやうやしく片膝をつき兜を脱いだ。騎士達も兵士達も誰もが感動に震え、感激にむせんだ。生まれた時から繰り返し聴かされてきたエルサレムが目の前にある。
この瞬間、みな謙虚な巡礼者になっていた。免罪に釣られて十字軍に参加していた人殺しや盗賊と初めから神に一生を捧げると成約した聖職者の違いはなくなっていた。
ぼくも以前、カイロから陸路でエルサレムを訪れたが、「フォーレのレクイエムで出てきたエルサレムだ」という想いだった。それと「ここは荒野だ」という想い。
The Crusades and Jerusalem
Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read:
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"In June 1099, the Crusaders finally reached a point where they could see Jerusalem in the distance.
The lords knelt reverently and removed their helmets as if they were inside a church.
Knights and soldiers alike were trembling with emotion, choking with tears of joy.
The Jerusalem they had heard about repeatedly since birth was now before their eyes.
In that moment, everyone became humble pilgrims.
The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning disappeared."
I'm guessing this is the end of your excerpt
I too once traveled to Jerusalem overland fromvia Cairo, and I had a similar thought: "This is the Jerusalem mentioned in Fauré's Requiem."
And I also thought, "What a wilderness this is!."
May 28, 2024
Thank you for your corrections, Kasumii san.
The Crusade and Jerusalem
Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read:
¶¶
¶
¶
“In June 1099, the Crusaders finally reached a point where they could see Jerusalem in the distance.
Should always use quotation marks if copying an excerpt like this. (But if you paraphrased/reworded the excerpt then there’s no need to put it in quotation marks)
Another note: it’s not necessary here but in some cases you may want to consider including the name of the book and its author
The lords knelt reverently and removed their helmets as if they were inside a church.
Knights and soldiers alike were trembling with emotion, choking with tears of joy.
The Jerusalem they had heard about repeatedly since birth was now before their eyes.
In that moment, everyone became humble pilgrims.
The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning disappeared.”
To show that this is the end of the excerpt
I too once traveled to Jerusalem overland from Cairo, and I had a similar thought: "This is the Jerusalem mentioned in Fauré's Requiem."
And I also thought, "What a wilderness this is!.”
Some people prefer not starting a sentence with “and”.
Make sure to include the second quotation mark. Since you used an exclamation mark there’s no need to include a full stop (the exclamation mark ends the sentence instead of the full stop here)
Feedback
Good job! This was really interesting too
May 27, 2024
Thank you for your corrections and useful advices.
Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read:
¶¶
¶
¶
"In June 1099, the Crusaders finally reached a point where they could see Jerusalem in the distance.
Excerpts are typically seperated by quotation marks.
"in the distance" is fine, but I think "from a distance" sounds slightly better.
The lords knelt reverently and removed their helmets as if they were inside a church.
Knights and soldiers alike were trembling with emotion, chokinged with tears of joy.
I would change it to "choked" in order to avoid using gerunds twice in a row.
In that moment, everyone became humble pilgrims.
The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence, and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning, disappeared.
I would add commas for clairity, but I'm not 100% if grammar rules require this.
I too once traveled to Jerusalem overland from Cairo overland, and I had a similar thought: "This is the Jerusalem mentioned in Fauré's Requiem."
A quick stylistic note - book titles are always italicized!
And I also thought, "What a wilderness this is!."
Feedback
Very nice job!!
May 27, 2024
Thank you for your corrections and helpful comments.
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The Crusade and Jerusalem This sentence has been marked as perfect! The Crusades and Jerusalem |
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Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read: In June 1099, the Crusaders finally reached a point where they could see Jerusalem in the distance. Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read: Excerpts are typically seperated by quotation marks. "in the distance" is fine, but I think "from a distance" sounds slightly better. Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read: Should always use quotation marks if copying an excerpt like this. (But if you paraphrased/reworded the excerpt then there’s no need to put it in quotation marks) Another note: it’s not necessary here but in some cases you may want to consider including the name of the book and its author Here's an excerpt from a book I recently read: |
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The lords knelt reverently and removed their helmets as if they were inside a church. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Knights and soldiers alike were trembling with emotion, choking with tears of joy. Knights and soldiers alike were trembling with emotion, chok I would change it to "choked" in order to avoid using gerunds twice in a row. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The Jerusalem they had heard about repeatedly since birth was now before their eyes. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In that moment, everyone became humble pilgrims. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning disappeared. The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence, and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning, disappeared. I would add commas for clairity, but I'm not 100% if grammar rules require this. The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning disappeared.” To show that this is the end of the excerpt The distinction between murderers and thieves who had joined the Crusade for indulgence and the clergy who had vowed to dedicate their lives to God from the beginning disappeared." I'm guessing this is the end of your excerpt |
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I too once traveled to Jerusalem overland from Cairo, and I had a similar thought: "This is the Jerusalem mentioned in Fauré's Requiem." I too once traveled to Jerusalem A quick stylistic note - book titles are always italicized! This sentence has been marked as perfect! I too once traveled to Jerusalem |
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And I also thought, "What a wilderness this is!. And I also thought, "What a wilderness this is!
Some people prefer not starting a sentence with “and”. Make sure to include the second quotation mark. Since you used an exclamation mark there’s no need to include a full stop (the exclamation mark ends the sentence instead of the full stop here) And I also thought, "What |
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