today
The Coldest Days in Beijing China
I noticed the temperature outside is already minus 10 degrees Celsius while I turned on my car and prepared to go to work. It showed -11.5 degrees Celsius on the car dashboard. I awared the coldest days have come. I drove on the highway and the wind rustled loudly. Somehow, I consciously thought of my childhood days. My friends and I usually sneaked to go skating on the lake near our village in the coldest days. But we were found out by our parents almost each time, because we definitely got our outfits dirty, lol. Anyway, we were happy at that time.
We are adults now and have more freedom than when we were children, but we have less happiness though.
The Coldest Days in Beijing, China
Add a comma between city and country for correct formatting.
I noticed the temperature outside iwas already minus 10 degrees Celsius while I turned on my car and prepared to go to work.
"was" Past tense consistency.
It showed -11.5 degrees Celsius on the car dashboard.
You can also say "The car dashboard showed -11.5 degrees Celsius."
I awarrealized the coldest days haved come.
"realized" Correct verb.
"had come" Past perfect fits better.
I drove on the highway, and the wind rustled loudly.
Add comma before “and” for proper sentence structure.
Somehow, I consciously thought of my childhood days.
You can also say, "Somehow, I found myself thinking about my childhood days."
My friends and I usually sneaked out to go skating on the lake near our village during the coldest days.
"sneaked out to go" Correct expression
"during the coldest days" Correct preposition.
But we were found out by our parentsour parents found us out almost eachvery time, because we definitelyalways got our outfitclothes dirty, lol.
"our parents found us out." More natural word order
"clothes" More natural in this context.
Removed lol for smoother tone (optional if casual).
Feedback
Corrections are mostly about verb tense consistency and word choice. Good job, keep writing!
I agree with you. It's harder to find happiness inside you during adulthood, maybe because we already have responsibilities and family to look out for.
The Coldest Days in Beijing China
I noticed the temperature outside iwas already minus 10 degrees Celsius while (or when, since the duration is very short) I turned on my car and prepared to go to work.
It showed -11.5 degrees Celsius on the car dashboard.
I awared("became aware" or "realized/realised") that the coldest days have come.
I drove on the highway and the wind rustled loudly.
Somehow, I consciously thought of my childhood days.
My friends and I usually sneaked out to go skating on the lake near our village in the coldest days.
sneaked usually followed by a direction
But we were found out by our parents almost eachvery time, because we definitelyalways got our outfits dirty, lol.
Anyway, we were happy at that time.
We are adults now and have more freedom than when we were children, but we have less happiness though.
Feedback
I hear you, although the things that we can do as a child is limited, we can do them without worrying about anything else. Whereas now even when we are doing the things we enjoy, we can't help but worry about all sort of things to truly enjoy. I guess the best we can do is to learn to detach ourselves from the realities when we are out having fun. Oh well, such is life!
today
Exactly, you got the point. Thanks for your corrections.
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The Coldest Days in Beijing China This sentence has been marked as perfect! The Coldest Days in Beijing, China Add a comma between city and country for correct formatting. |
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I noticed the temperature outside is already minus 10 degrees Celsius while I turned on my car and prepared to go to work. I noticed the temperature outside I noticed the temperature outside "was" Past tense consistency. |
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It showed -11.5 degrees Celsius on the car dashboard. This sentence has been marked as perfect! It showed -11.5 degrees Celsius on the car dashboard. You can also say "The car dashboard showed -11.5 degrees Celsius." |
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I awared the coldest days have come. I I "realized" Correct verb. "had come" Past perfect fits better. |
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I drove on the highway and the wind rustled loudly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I drove on the highway, and the wind rustled loudly. Add comma before “and” for proper sentence structure. |
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Somehow, I consciously thought of my childhood days. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Somehow, I consciously thought of my childhood days. You can also say, "Somehow, I found myself thinking about my childhood days." |
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My friends and I usually sneaked to go skating on the lake near our village in the coldest days. My friends and I usually sneaked out to go skating on the lake near our village in the coldest days. sneaked usually followed by a direction My friends and I usually sneaked out to go skating on the lake near our village during the coldest days. "sneaked out to go" Correct expression "during the coldest days" Correct preposition. |
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But we were found out by our parents almost each time, because we definitely got our outfits dirty, lol. But we were found out by our parents almost e But "our parents found us out." More natural word order "clothes" More natural in this context. Removed lol for smoother tone (optional if casual). |
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Anyway, we were happy at that time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We are adults now and have more freedom than when we were children, but we have less happiness though. We are adults now and have more freedom than when we were children, but we have less happiness though. |
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