Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 11, 2022

1
First Job in a Hotel

I graduated from high school in 1993, and found a job in a top local international hotel. HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course. I clearly remember that the teacher taught us in class:" smile is the bridge to the world, being polite before everyone."
I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months. That was really a hard laboring job for me, one guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not fit for me.
Though only three months in the hotel, it presented a different world for me.
Japanese think of safety first, many of them take a safety rope in their suitcase, and they can climb out from a window in a high building if necessary. The room which a Japanese had used like never used before.
Americans like to give tips, they look strong, rich, and kind. Many of them come to visit Three Gorges, they check in at 12 pm, and check out at 5 am the next day, they pay 800 yuan for a Delux room, and my salary was 400 Yuan a month.

Corrections

First Job in a Hotel

The HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course.

I clearly remember that the teacher taught us in class:" A smile is the bridge to the world, beingand be polite beforeto everyone."

Is the teacher telling you to be polite to everyone? Or is she saying that a smile is a sign of politeness?

I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months.

When you say "I have worked," it makes me think you are still working there.

That was really a hard labodifficult and tiring job for me, but one guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not a good fit for me.

"hard laboring job" sounds a little strange.

Though onlyI had only worked for three months inat the hotel, it presented aseemed like a completely different world forto me.

Japanese people think of safety first, m. Many of them take a safety rope in their suitcase, andso that they can climb out from a window in a high building if necessary.

The room which a Japanese had used like neverJapanese people left their rooms in perfect condition, as if it had not been used before.

Americans liked to give tips, and they looked strong, rich, and kind.

Many of them coame to visit Three Gorges, t. They checked in at 12 pm, and checked out at 5 am the next day, t. They payid 800 yuan for a Deluxe room, andlthough my salary was only 400 Yuan a month.

Be careful about keeping the tense consistent throughout the story. The past tense of "pay" is spelled "paid", not "payed." I added "although" to your last sentence to emphasize the contrast between what they were able to pay and what you earned.

Feedback

Be careful about separating independent thoughts with a period or a conjunction. But very good work, keep it up!

First Job in a Hotel

I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months.

That was really a hard laboring job for me, o. One guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not a good fit for me.

Though I spent only three months in the hotel, it presented a different world forto me.

The A room which a Japanese guest had used likewas as clean as if it had never been used before.

Americans liked to give tips, t. They looked strong, rich, and kind.

Many of them coame to visit the Three Gorges, t. They checked in at 12 pm (noon), and checked out at 5 am the next day, t. They payid 800 yuan for a Ddeluxe room, and my salary was 400 Yyuan a month.

Since you’re describing how it was when you worked there about 30 years ago, use past tense.

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 12, 2022

1

Thank you very much!

First Job inat a Hotel

I graduated from high school in 1993, and found a job in a top locallocally at a top international hotel.

The HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course.

I clearly remember twhat the teacher taught us in class:", "A smile is thea bridge to the world, as is being polite beforeto everyone."

I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months.

That was really a hard laboring job for me, o. One guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not a good fit for me.

Though I spent only three months inat the hotel, it presented a different world forto me.

Japanese think of safety first, m. Many of them takepack a safety rope in their suitcase, and so they can climb out ofrom a window infrom a high building if necessary.

The room whichere a Japanese had used likeperson has stayed is left as if it's never been used before.

Americans like to give tips, t. They look strong, rich, and kind.

Many of them come to visit Three Gorges, t. They check in at 12 pm, and check out at 5 am the next day, t. They pay 800 yuan for a Deluxe room, and while my salary was only 400 Yuan a month.

へー!

Feedback

面白そうです。教えてくれてありがとうございました。よく出来ました!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 12, 2022

1

いもつありがとございました!

My First Job in a Hotel

I graduated from high school in 1993, and found a job in a top local international hotel.

local and international have opposite meaning: local implies it is small, family-business, local to the area, but international = worldwide. Did you mean "local" as in nearby? :)

The HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course.

When used as an adjective, use singular form (e.g., two-week course, 45-minute workout)

I clearly remember that the teacher taught us in class:" "A smile is thea bridge to the world,; being polite beforeto everyone."

There should be no space after a " mark

That was really a hard laboring job for me,; one guest from Taiwan even helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not firight for me.

Though onlyEven though it has only been three months, in the hotel, itt has presented a different world for me.

Japanese people think of safety first,: many of them takecarry a safety rope in their suitcase, and so they can climb out ofrom a window in a hightall building if necessary.

The room which a Japanese had used like neverRooms that Japanese guests had stayed in looked like they had never been used before.

It is not polite/natural to say "a XXnationalityXX" (a British, a Japanese, a French)

Americans like to give tips,; they look strong, rich, and kind.

Many of them come to visit the Three Gorges, t. They check in at 12 pm, and check out at 5 am the next day,; they pay 800 yuan for a Ddeluxe room, andwhile my salary wais 400 Yyuan a month.

Feedback

Very good!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 12, 2022

1

I graduated from high school in 1993, and found a job in a top local international hotel.

I want to express that I found a job locally, the hotel was in my city.

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 12, 2022

1

Thanks for your correction!

daisylearns's avatar
daisylearns

Dec. 12, 2022

0

I want to express that I found a job locally, the hotel was in my city.

I think "....found a job at a top international hotel in my city." is clearer :)

The City in which I Live (8)


I graduated from high school in 1993, and found a job in a top local international hotel.


I graduated from high school in 1993, and found a job in a top local international hotel.

local and international have opposite meaning: local implies it is small, family-business, local to the area, but international = worldwide. Did you mean "local" as in nearby? :)

I graduated from high school in 1993, and found a job in a top locallocally at a top international hotel.

HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course.


The HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course.

When used as an adjective, use singular form (e.g., two-week course, 45-minute workout)

The HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course.

The HR staff arranged for us to take a three-months training course.

I clearly remember that the teacher taught us in class:" smile is the bridge to the world, being polite before everyone."


I clearly remember that the teacher taught us in class:" "A smile is thea bridge to the world,; being polite beforeto everyone."

There should be no space after a " mark

I clearly remember twhat the teacher taught us in class:", "A smile is thea bridge to the world, as is being polite beforeto everyone."

I clearly remember that the teacher taught us in class:" A smile is the bridge to the world, beingand be polite beforeto everyone."

Is the teacher telling you to be polite to everyone? Or is she saying that a smile is a sign of politeness?

I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months.


I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months.

I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months.

I have worked in the housekeeping department for three months.

When you say "I have worked," it makes me think you are still working there.

That was really a hard laboring job for me, one guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not fit for me.


That was really a hard laboring job for me,; one guest from Taiwan even helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not firight for me.

That was really a hard laboring job for me, o. One guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not a good fit for me.

That was really a hard laboring job for me, o. One guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not a good fit for me.

That was really a hard labodifficult and tiring job for me, but one guest from Taiwan helped me to change my job because he thought housekeeping was not a good fit for me.

"hard laboring job" sounds a little strange.

Though only three months in the hotel, it presented a different world for me.


Though onlyEven though it has only been three months, in the hotel, itt has presented a different world for me.

Though I spent only three months inat the hotel, it presented a different world forto me.

Though I spent only three months in the hotel, it presented a different world forto me.

Though onlyI had only worked for three months inat the hotel, it presented aseemed like a completely different world forto me.

Japanese think of safety first, many of them take a safety rope in their suitcase, and they can climb out from a window in a high building if necessary.


Japanese people think of safety first,: many of them takecarry a safety rope in their suitcase, and so they can climb out ofrom a window in a hightall building if necessary.

Japanese think of safety first, m. Many of them takepack a safety rope in their suitcase, and so they can climb out ofrom a window infrom a high building if necessary.

Japanese people think of safety first, m. Many of them take a safety rope in their suitcase, andso that they can climb out from a window in a high building if necessary.

The room which a Japanese had used like never used before.


The room which a Japanese had used like neverRooms that Japanese guests had stayed in looked like they had never been used before.

It is not polite/natural to say "a XXnationalityXX" (a British, a Japanese, a French)

The room whichere a Japanese had used likeperson has stayed is left as if it's never been used before.

The A room which a Japanese guest had used likewas as clean as if it had never been used before.

The room which a Japanese had used like neverJapanese people left their rooms in perfect condition, as if it had not been used before.

Americans like to give tips, they look strong, rich, and kind.


Americans like to give tips,; they look strong, rich, and kind.

Americans like to give tips, t. They look strong, rich, and kind.

Americans liked to give tips, t. They looked strong, rich, and kind.

Americans liked to give tips, and they looked strong, rich, and kind.

Many of them come to visit Three Gorges, they check in at 12 pm, and check out at 5 am the next day, they pay 800 yuan for a Delux room, and my salary was 400 Yuan a month.


Many of them come to visit the Three Gorges, t. They check in at 12 pm, and check out at 5 am the next day,; they pay 800 yuan for a Ddeluxe room, andwhile my salary wais 400 Yyuan a month.

Many of them come to visit Three Gorges, t. They check in at 12 pm, and check out at 5 am the next day, t. They pay 800 yuan for a Deluxe room, and while my salary was only 400 Yuan a month.

へー!

Many of them coame to visit the Three Gorges, t. They checked in at 12 pm (noon), and checked out at 5 am the next day, t. They payid 800 yuan for a Ddeluxe room, and my salary was 400 Yyuan a month.

Since you’re describing how it was when you worked there about 30 years ago, use past tense.

Many of them coame to visit Three Gorges, t. They checked in at 12 pm, and checked out at 5 am the next day, t. They payid 800 yuan for a Deluxe room, andlthough my salary was only 400 Yuan a month.

Be careful about keeping the tense consistent throughout the story. The past tense of "pay" is spelled "paid", not "payed." I added "although" to your last sentence to emphasize the contrast between what they were able to pay and what you earned.

First Job in a Hotel


My First Job in a Hotel

First Job inat a Hotel

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