Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 10, 2022

1
The City in which I Live (7)

My ex-girlfriend from Shenzhen came to visit me in 2000. When I accompanied her hanging on the street, she was astonished a lot, she said that this city had provided a different feeling for her, many people like her have never experienced a craggy city. She gazed at hundreds of stairs below her foot and said that many more tourists would like to be here because of their different.
Her words came to true after 15 years. One day, my wife told me:"Chongqing is being a must-go city in China because many people show their pictures here on TikTok."
Here are many things we locals are used to it, which are precious to visitors. I list some below:
Along Yangtze Rive, enjoyable climate, temporary capital cultures in World War II, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girl, and stronger political culture.
Chongqing is a vibrant city now.

Corrections

The City in which I Live (7)

My ex-girlfriend from Shenzhen came to visit me in 2000.

WhenAs I accompanied her hangwalking odown the streets, she was often astonished a lot, s. She said that this city had provided a different feeling forfelt different to her, m. Many people like her have never experienced a cragghilly city.

She gazed at hundreds of stairs below her fooeet and said that many more tourists would like to be here because of theirit's so different.

Her words came to true after 15 years.

or

Her words came to be true after 15 years.

One day, my wife told me:, "Chongqing ihas beingcome a must-go city in China because many people show their pictures of here on TikTok.

"

HThere are many things we locals are used to it, whichtake for granted but are precious to visitors.

I list some below:

Along the Yangtze Rive, enjoyable climate, temporary capital cultures during World War II, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girlwomen, and stronger political culture.

Chongqing is a vibrant city now.

Feedback

面白そうですね。教えてくれてありがとうございました。よく出来ました!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 11, 2022

1

ありがとご!勉強になりました。

The City in which I Live (7)

My ex-girlfriend (then-girlfriend?) from Shenzhen came to visit me in 2000.

If she was still your girlfriend at the time of that visit, use “then-girlfriend” (当时的女朋友). If she was already your ex-girlfriend at that time, then “ex-girlfriend” is fine.

When I accompanied her hangingwe walked on the streets together, she was astonished a lot, s. She said that this city had providedgiven her a different feeling for her, m. Many people like her have never experienced a craggy city.

“Accompanied” is unnatural in this context. Instead, you could say you did something “with her” or the two of you did something “together.”

“Hang on the street” sounds like you stood around in one area. I assume you walked around.

She gazed at the hundreds of stairs below her fooeet and said that many moreother tourists would like to bevisit here because of their unusualness / because they were very different.

Suggestion: …and said that their uniqueness would attract many more tourists to come here.

Her words came to true [after 15 years. / about 15 years later]

When I first read “after 15 years, I thought you meant it happened in 2015, but that’s not possible since Douyin wasn’t released until late 2016, followed by TikTok a year later.

One day, my wife told me: "Chongqing is being anow one of China’s must-go city in Chinaies because many people show their pictures (and videos?) (from) here on TikTok.

TikTok and Douyin are two separate systems. If you write TikTok, it sounds like foreigners are making these TikTok posts, since people in China use Douyin.

TikTok only added “photo mode” quite recently. Before this, few people posted pictures on TikTok, and even now, most posts are videos, not pictures (photos).

Here are many things we locals are used to it,, (but) which are precious to visitors.:

I list some below:

Alongthe picturesque Yangtze River, enjoyable climate, historical culture as the temporary capital cultures ity during World War II, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girls, and stronger political culture.

“Along Yangtze River” doesn’t fit here because most of the other items in this list consist of an adjective and a noun, but “along Yangtze River” doesn’t have an adjective. You could say “the picturesque Yangtze River,” instead.

Chongqing is a vibrant city now.

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 11, 2022

1

I make some corrections here from your comments:
1/ She was my "then-girlfriend".
2/ It's correct to write "walked on the street". But I expose a small secret here, a friend once called me to go hanging on the street only looking for girls when I was very young.
3/ It's great you not only know TikTok but also Douyin in China, so you know Chinese culture a lot I think. In my eyes, the attraction of Chongqing is growing up with Douyin simultaneously. This city is an industrial place before Douyin, and after many small videos shared on Douyin, many more bloggers came here and attracted more tourists. So the accurate date should be the beginning of 2017.
Thank you for your corrections!

JoeTofu's avatar
JoeTofu

Dec. 11, 2022

1

You’re welcome

The City in whichThat I Live In (7)

The original is grammatical; however, this correction sounds more natural.

When I accompanied her hanging on the street, she was astonished a lot, swe walked down the street, she had a lot of surprises. She said that this city had provided a different feeling for her,: many people like her have never experienced a craggy cityrough city before.

The simple words feel better and more natural compared to longer words.

She gazed at the hundreds of stairs below her fooeet and said that many more tourists would like to bcome here because of theirit feels different.

Her words came to true after 15 years.

"came true" or "came to be"

One day, my wife told me: "Chongqing is being a must-go city in China because many people showare their pictures hereof it on TikTok."

Remember spaces between : and ".

"

HThere are many things here that we locals are used to it, which, but that are precious to visitors.

AlongThe Yangtze River, enjoyable climate, temporary capital cultures inits pleasant climate, World War II history, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girlfriendly locals, mountains, beautiful women, and stronger political culture.

Feedback

Now I want to visit Chongqing : (

You paint a great picture. I fixed some wording to make it sound more natural and native.
Well done!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Dec. 11, 2022

1

I really happy that you said, "paint a great picture." :-) Thanks for your correction, it's very helpful for me.

The City in which I Live (7)


The City in whichThat I Live In (7)

The original is grammatical; however, this correction sounds more natural.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My ex-girlfriend from Shenzhen came to visit me in 2000.


My ex-girlfriend (then-girlfriend?) from Shenzhen came to visit me in 2000.

If she was still your girlfriend at the time of that visit, use “then-girlfriend” (当时的女朋友). If she was already your ex-girlfriend at that time, then “ex-girlfriend” is fine.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

When I accompanied her hanging on the street, she was astonished a lot, she said that this city had provided a different feeling for her, many people like her have never experienced a craggy city.


When I accompanied her hanging on the street, she was astonished a lot, swe walked down the street, she had a lot of surprises. She said that this city had provided a different feeling for her,: many people like her have never experienced a craggy cityrough city before.

The simple words feel better and more natural compared to longer words.

When I accompanied her hangingwe walked on the streets together, she was astonished a lot, s. She said that this city had providedgiven her a different feeling for her, m. Many people like her have never experienced a craggy city.

“Accompanied” is unnatural in this context. Instead, you could say you did something “with her” or the two of you did something “together.” “Hang on the street” sounds like you stood around in one area. I assume you walked around.

WhenAs I accompanied her hangwalking odown the streets, she was often astonished a lot, s. She said that this city had provided a different feeling forfelt different to her, m. Many people like her have never experienced a cragghilly city.

She gazed hundreds stairs below her foot, said that many more tourists would like to here because of it's different.


Her words came to true after 15 years.


Her words came to true after 15 years.

"came true" or "came to be"

Her words came to true [after 15 years. / about 15 years later]

When I first read “after 15 years, I thought you meant it happened in 2015, but that’s not possible since Douyin wasn’t released until late 2016, followed by TikTok a year later.

Her words came to true after 15 years.

or Her words came to be true after 15 years.

One day, my wife told me :"Chongqing is being a must-go city in China because of many people show their pictures here on tiktok.


"


"

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Here are many things we locals are used to it, which are precious to visitors.


HThere are many things here that we locals are used to it, which, but that are precious to visitors.

Here are many things we locals are used to it,, (but) which are precious to visitors.:

HThere are many things we locals are used to it, whichtake for granted but are precious to visitors.

I list some below:


I list some below:

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Along Yantze Rive, enjoyable climate, temparory capital cultures in World War II, low price, warm citizens, special mountain city, good figured girl and stronger political culture.


She gazed at hundreds of stairs below her foot and said that many more tourists would like to be here because of their different.


She gazed at the hundreds of stairs below her fooeet and said that many more tourists would like to bcome here because of theirit feels different.

She gazed at the hundreds of stairs below her fooeet and said that many moreother tourists would like to bevisit here because of their unusualness / because they were very different.

Suggestion: …and said that their uniqueness would attract many more tourists to come here.

She gazed at hundreds of stairs below her fooeet and said that many more tourists would like to be here because of theirit's so different.

One day, my wife told me:"Chongqing is being a must-go city in China because many people show their pictures here on TikTok.


One day, my wife told me: "Chongqing is being a must-go city in China because many people showare their pictures hereof it on TikTok."

Remember spaces between : and ".

One day, my wife told me: "Chongqing is being anow one of China’s must-go city in Chinaies because many people show their pictures (and videos?) (from) here on TikTok.

TikTok and Douyin are two separate systems. If you write TikTok, it sounds like foreigners are making these TikTok posts, since people in China use Douyin. TikTok only added “photo mode” quite recently. Before this, few people posted pictures on TikTok, and even now, most posts are videos, not pictures (photos).

One day, my wife told me:, "Chongqing ihas beingcome a must-go city in China because many people show their pictures of here on TikTok.

Along Yangtze Rive, enjoyable climate, temporary capital cultures in World War II, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girl, and stronger political culture.


AlongThe Yangtze River, enjoyable climate, temporary capital cultures inits pleasant climate, World War II history, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girlfriendly locals, mountains, beautiful women, and stronger political culture.

Alongthe picturesque Yangtze River, enjoyable climate, historical culture as the temporary capital cultures ity during World War II, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girls, and stronger political culture.

“Along Yangtze River” doesn’t fit here because most of the other items in this list consist of an adjective and a noun, but “along Yangtze River” doesn’t have an adjective. You could say “the picturesque Yangtze River,” instead.

Along the Yangtze Rive, enjoyable climate, temporary capital cultures during World War II, low prices, warm citizens, a special mountain city, good figured girlwomen, and stronger political culture.

Chongqing is a vibrant city now.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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