qwerty1980s's avatar
qwerty1980s

Feb. 4, 2020

0
T10

Goldman Sachs to Provide Financing Service to Amazon Sellers

Goldman Sachs, American, is reportedly negotiating to partner with the E-Commerce giant, Amazon, on the possibility of providing a loan service for Amazon sellers.
In addition to its internet bank, Goldman Sachs is looking for an opportunity to include a wider customer-base by using Amazon’s network. This negotiation has explicitly (illustrated? signified? showcased?) Goldman’s intention to further expand financial business targeting to small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) and consumers.
The negotiation between two companies was reported online on the British Financial Times, both sides acknowledging the facts.
Amazon already provides their unique loan service to its sellers. The new collaborative service with Goldman Sachs is planned to launch in March with the Goldman’s brand name attached (?) to it.
Goldman Sachs’ PR refused to comment on this matter.
This partnership can be beneficial to Goldman Sachs (How can I make this sentence more creative…?).
They have been providing loans to SMEs and individuals through their internet bank “Marcus” since 2016. The selling point of that was the application of information technology and a low management cost without the need to have brick-and-mortar stores. However, they were lacking contacts with the customers. Having a possible opportunity to provide service to Amazon’s sellers’ network will lead Goldman to gain potential customers.
One of the growth strategies for Goldman Sachs is strengthening financial services towards consumers and SMEs. In addition to the internet bank “Marcus”, Goldman has partnered with Apple in August 2019 to enter the credit card market. With an intention to establish a stable income structure, Goldman Sachs is seeking means to avoid complete dependence on the traditional stock and trading businesses.


米ゴールドマン、アマゾン出店者に融資提供へ

米金融大手ゴールドマン・サックスが、米電子商取引(EC)大手アマゾン・ドット・コムと組み、出店者向けの融資サービスを始める方向で交渉していることが3日明らかになった。
自社のインターネット銀行に加え、アマゾンのネットワークを活用することで顧客獲得に弾みをつける。
中小企業や消費者向け金融事業の拡大で成長を目指す姿勢が鮮明になった。
ゴールドマンとアマゾンの交渉は英紙フィナンシャル・タイムズ(FT)電子版が報じ、両者の交渉を知る関係者も事実関係を認めた。
アマゾンはすでにEC出店者向け融資を自社で提供しているが、新サービスは「ゴールドマン」のブランドを付与した形で3月にも始めるという。
ゴールドマン広報担当者はコメントを拒否した。
ゴールドマンにとって提携の利点は大きい。
同社は2016年からインターネット銀行「マーカス」を通じて、中小事業者や個人に融資を提供している。
IT(情報技術)の活用と実店舗を持たない低コスト運営が売り物だが、顧客との接点の少なさが課題だった。アマゾンの出店者ネットワークにサービスを提供できるようになると潜在顧客は広がる。
ゴールドマンは消費者や中小事業向け金融サービスを成長戦略の柱の一つに据えている。
ネット銀行「マーカス」に続き、19年8月からはアップルと組み、クレジットカード事業に参入した。株式や債券の売買仲介事業(トレーディング)への依存度を減らし、安定して稼げる収益構造をつくる狙いもある。

Corrections

T10

Goldman Sachs to Provide Financing Service to Amazon Sellers

Goldman Sachs, American, is reportedly negotiating toa partnership with the E-Commerce giant, Amazon, upon the possibility of providing a loan service for Amazon sellers.

When you say "American", do you mean an American company? I wasn't sure whether to correct it as "an American company" or not.

In addition to its internet bank, Goldman Sachs is looking for an opportunity to include a wider customer-base by using Amazon’s network.

This negotiation has explicitly (illudemonstrated? signified? showcased?) Goldman’s intention to further expand financial business targeting to small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) and consumers.

All of those words are okay, but I think "demonstrated" might be the best route to go in this context.

The negotiation between the two companies was reported online on the British Financial Times, with both sides acknowledging the facts.

The new collaborative service with Goldman Sachs is planned to launch in March with the Goldman’s brand name attached (?) to it.

Sounds good to me. But I'm sure someone else will have a better suggestion.

Goldman Sachs’ PR refused to comment on this matter.

ThisSuch a partnership canould definitely prove to be beneificial to Goldman Sachs (How can I make this sentence more creative…?)(or advantageous) for Goldman Sachs.

Is that kind of what you're looking for?

They have been providing loans to SMEs and individuals through their internet bank “Marcus” since 2016. T, with the selling point of that wasbeing the application of information technology and a low management cost without the need to have brick-and-mortar stores. However, they were lacking when it came to keeping contacts with their customers. Having a possible opportunity*The possibility of an opportunity for Goldman to provide service to Amazon’s sellers’ network will lead Goldmanit to gain potential customers.
One of the growth strategies for Goldman Sachs is strengthening financial services towards consumers and SMEs. In addition to the internet bank “Marcus”, Goldman
has partnered with Apple in August 2019 to enter the credit card market.

Just go ahead and drop the past-tense "were", and use the past-tense of "lack", it is more natural as well as concise.

With anthe intention tof establishing a stable income structure, Goldman Sachs is seeking meanoppurtunites to avoid complete dependence on the traditional stock and trading businesses.

Feedback

Wow, great entry! Everything was really good, all I did was go in and tweak things up a bit. Nice job! :)

qwerty1980s's avatar
qwerty1980s

Feb. 4, 2020

0

Thank you tremendously for such a detailed correction, I really appreciate it! :)

xeta's avatar
xeta

Feb. 5, 2020

0

Aw, it's no problem at all! I'm happy I could help! :D

xeta's avatar
xeta

Feb. 5, 2020

0

They have been providing loans to SMEs and individuals through their internet bank “Marcus” since 2016. T, with the selling point of that wasbeing the application of information technology and a low management cost without the need to have brick-and-mortar stores. However, they were lacking when it came to keeping contacts with their customers. Having a possible opportunity*The possibility of an opportunity for Goldman to provide service to Amazon’s sellers’ network will lead Goldmanit to gain potential customers.
One of the growth strategies for Goldman Sachs is strengthening financial services towards consumers and SMEs. In addition to the internet bank “Marcus”, Goldman
has partnered with Apple in August 2019 to enter the credit card market.

Ahh, this was before I decided to switch things up a bit in the sentence. It still applies though depending on the context and tone, so hopefully it could be helpful in the furture,

T10


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Goldman Sachs to Provide Financing Service to Amazon Sellers


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Goldman Sachs, American, is reportedly negotiating to partner with the E-Commerce giant, Amazon, on the possibility of providing a loan service for Amazon sellers.


Goldman Sachs, American, is reportedly negotiating toa partnership with the E-Commerce giant, Amazon, upon the possibility of providing a loan service for Amazon sellers.

When you say "American", do you mean an American company? I wasn't sure whether to correct it as "an American company" or not.

In addition to its internet bank, Goldman Sachs is looking for an opportunity to include a wider customer-base by using Amazon’s network.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This negotiation has explicitly (illustrated? signified? showcased?) Goldman’s intention to further expand financial business targeting to small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) and consumers.


This negotiation has explicitly (illudemonstrated? signified? showcased?) Goldman’s intention to further expand financial business targeting to small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) and consumers.

All of those words are okay, but I think "demonstrated" might be the best route to go in this context.

The negotiation between two companies was reported online on the British Financial Times, both sides acknowledging the facts.


The negotiation between the two companies was reported online on the British Financial Times, with both sides acknowledging the facts.

Amazon already provides their unique loan service to its sellers.


The new collaborative service with Goldman Sachs is planned to launch in March with the Goldman’s brand name attached (?) to it.


The new collaborative service with Goldman Sachs is planned to launch in March with the Goldman’s brand name attached (?) to it.

Sounds good to me. But I'm sure someone else will have a better suggestion.

Goldman Sachs’ PR refused to comment on this matter.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This partnership can be beneficial to Goldman Sachs (How can I make this sentence more creative…?).


ThisSuch a partnership canould definitely prove to be beneificial to Goldman Sachs (How can I make this sentence more creative…?)(or advantageous) for Goldman Sachs.

Is that kind of what you're looking for?

They have been providing loans to SMEs and individuals through their internet bank “Marcus” since 2016. The selling point of that was the application of information technology and a low management cost without the need to have brick-and-mortar stores. However, they were lacking contacts with the customers. Having a possible opportunity to provide service to Amazon’s sellers’ network will lead Goldman to gain potential customers. One of the growth strategies for Goldman Sachs is strengthening financial services towards consumers and SMEs. In addition to the internet bank “Marcus”, Goldman has partnered with Apple in August 2019 to enter the credit card market.


They have been providing loans to SMEs and individuals through their internet bank “Marcus” since 2016. T, with the selling point of that wasbeing the application of information technology and a low management cost without the need to have brick-and-mortar stores. However, they were lacking when it came to keeping contacts with their customers. Having a possible opportunity*The possibility of an opportunity for Goldman to provide service to Amazon’s sellers’ network will lead Goldmanit to gain potential customers.
One of the growth strategies for Goldman Sachs is strengthening financial services towards consumers and SMEs. In addition to the internet bank “Marcus”, Goldman
has partnered with Apple in August 2019 to enter the credit card market.

Just go ahead and drop the past-tense "were", and use the past-tense of "lack", it is more natural as well as concise.

With an intention to establish a stable income structure, Goldman Sachs is seeking means to avoid complete dependence on the traditional stock and trading businesses.


With anthe intention tof establishing a stable income structure, Goldman Sachs is seeking meanoppurtunites to avoid complete dependence on the traditional stock and trading businesses.

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