Feb. 16, 2021
Swimming
I'm not good at swimming very much. In Japan, there are swimming classes in school and swimming is popular. However, I wasn't taught how to swim in detail, so I couldn't swim with breathing in elementary school. Afterward, my junior high school had a tradition that the seventh-grader students swam for long distances in the sea over four days. In this training, I learned breaststroke putting my head out of the water. This method doesn't need breathing so it's perfect for me. Besides, we wore Japanese traditional underwear, fundoshi. The underwear didn't cover my thigh so it was easy to swim.
Swimming
I'm not very good at swimming very much.
In Japan, there are swimming classes in school and swimming is popular.
However, I wasn't taught how to swim in detail, so I couldn't swim with breathingbreathe when I swam in elementary school.
水泳の方についてから、"So I couldn't"を代わりに"So I didn't know how to"を使うと、さらに自然です。
Afterward, mMy junior high school had a tradition thatwhere the seventh-grader students would swaim for long distances in the sea over four days.
Afterward=あの行事の後で (after a specific event). Because this sentence takes place some years after the previous, it sounds a bit strange.
InAs part of this training, I learned breaststroke putting mywhere you put your head out of the water.
In this trainingは正しですが、"As part of this training"のほうがいいと思います。
"putting my head out of the water"="breaststroke"の意味を説明していますから、"I did/can"より"You/one can (generic statement"のほうがいいです。
This method doesn't need breathing so it's perfect for me.
"with breathing"/"need breathing"がよくわかりません。水の中で息をできないかわかりますが、泳ぎしても、息をすることが必要はずだから、ちょっとわかりにくいです。
BesidesIn addition, we wore Japanese traditional underwear, fundoshi.
たいてい"Besides"と"In addition"同じようで使うのはどっちでもいいですが、"Besides"は"on the contrary/but"意味もありますから、ここで使えないのでしょう。
The underwear didn't cover my thighs so it was easy to swim.
Feedback
よくできました!
Feb. 17, 2021
訂正と説明ありがとうございます！
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Swimming This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I'm not good at swimming very much. I'm not very good at swimming |
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In Japan, there are swimming classes in school and swimming is popular. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, I wasn't taught how to swim in detail, so I couldn't swim with breathing in elementary school. However, I wasn't taught how to swim in detail, so I couldn't 水泳の方についてから、"So I couldn't"を代わりに"So I didn't know how to"を使うと、さらに自然です。 |
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Afterward, my junior high school had a tradition that the seventh-grader students swam for long distances in the sea over four days.
Afterward=あの行事の後で (after a specific event). Because this sentence takes place some years after the previous, it sounds a bit strange. |
|
In this training, I learned breaststroke putting my head out of the water.
In this trainingは正しですが、"As part of this training"のほうがいいと思います。 "putting my head out of the water"="breaststroke"の意味を説明していますから、"I did/can"より"You/one can (generic statement"のほうがいいです。 |
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This method doesn't need breathing so it's perfect for me. This method doesn't need breathing so it's perfect for me. "with breathing"/"need breathing"がよくわかりません。水の中で息をできないかわかりますが、泳ぎしても、息をすることが必要はずだから、ちょっとわかりにくいです。 |
|
Besides, we wore Japanese traditional underwear, fundoshi.
たいてい"Besides"と"In addition"同じようで使うのはどっちでもいいですが、"Besides"は"on the contrary/but"意味もありますから、ここで使えないのでしょう。 |
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The underwear didn't cover my thigh so it was easy to swim. The underwear didn't cover my thighs so it was easy to swim. |
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