Aug. 3, 2025
Story of ratnag part-5
The scene moves to the city of Haripur, where the real princess, Nazeena, practices with her sword Telvich.
Suddenly, the climate changes. Black clouds appear in the sky, and a mysterious black shadow appears in front of Nazeena.
Naeena: Who are you?
We see that the shadow was the witch who met King Akram in the jungle.
Witch: I am your death.
Naeena: Really? Do you think you can kill me? Rubbish!
Then a dangerous fight occurs between Princess Naeena and the witch.
The witch uses her magical powers and throws a thousand arrows toward Nazeena.
But with the help of her sword, Nazeena easily defends the attack.
She uses the sword and attacks the witch, but due to her magical powers, the witch disappears and suddenly appears behind Nazeena.
She punches Naeena in the back. Naeena gets injured and vomits blood.
The witch then takes out a magical knife and attacks Naeena on the head, killing her.
Then she captures the soul of Naeena and changes into naeena.
Naeena: "Who are you?" Naeena says
In English, dialogue is always put in double quotations and can either have describing words like 'says', 'asked', 'questioned' etc afterwards to be specific about who is talking and the way in which they are talking. You can also just have the quotations and leave out the 'says' etc if it's clear by context who is speaking
Witch: "I am your death", screamed the witch.
Naeena: Really? flipped her sword a couple times. "Really?" she replied.
Not necessary but just wanted to add this to show that adding something like 'Naeena flipped her sword a couple times' shows the reader that this character is not scared, they are quite calm, so calm that they are doing something as causal as flipping their sword when someone has just threatened to skill them. No need to write Naeena says because it's clear from from context who is speaking
"Do you think you can kill me?"
"Rubbish!"
Then aA dangerous fight occurs between Princess Naeena and the witch.
No need for the word then, it sounds more fluid to leave out the then.
The witch uses her magical powers and throws a thousand arrows atoward Nazeena.
at is more natural than toward
She uses ther sword and attacks the witch, but due to her magical powers, the witch disappears and suddenly appears behind Nazeena.
- if it's not her sword then 'the' is fine but if it's her sword then you should say 'her' instead of 'the' as 'the' makes the reader think it's something she found during the fight or something.
-
The witch then takes out a magical knife and attackstabs Naeena oin the head, killing her.
attacks on is quite unnatural, with a knife much better to use a verb like 'stabs in'
Then she captures the soul of Naeena and changes into nNaeena.
Forgot capital on name
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Story of ratnag part-5 |
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The scene moves to the city of Haripur, where the real princess, Nazeena, practices with her sword Telvich. |
|
Suddenly, the climate changes. |
|
Naeena: Who are you?
In English, dialogue is always put in double quotations and can either have describing words like 'says', 'asked', 'questioned' etc afterwards to be specific about who is talking and the way in which they are talking. You can also just have the quotations and leave out the 'says' etc if it's clear by context who is speaking |
|
She uses the sword and attacks the witch, but due to her magical powers, the witch disappears and suddenly appears behind Nazeena. She uses - if it's not her sword then 'the' is fine but if it's her sword then you should say 'her' instead of 'the' as 'the' makes the reader think it's something she found during the fight or something. - |
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She punches Naeena in the back. |
|
Naeena gets injured and vomits blood. |
|
The witch then takes out a magical knife and attacks Naeena on the head, killing her. The witch then takes out a magical knife and attacks on is quite unnatural, with a knife much better to use a verb like 'stabs in' |
|
Then she captures the soul of Naeena and changes into naeena. Then she captures the soul of Naeena and changes into Forgot capital on name |
|
Black clouds appear in the sky, and a mysterious black shadow appears in front of Nazeena. |
|
We see that the shadow was the witch who met King Akram in the jungle. |
|
Witch: I am your death.
|
|
Naeena: Really? Naeena Not necessary but just wanted to add this to show that adding something like 'Naeena flipped her sword a couple times' shows the reader that this character is not scared, they are quite calm, so calm that they are doing something as causal as flipping their sword when someone has just threatened to skill them. No need to write Naeena says because it's clear from from context who is speaking |
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Do you think you can kill me? "Do you think you can kill me?" |
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Rubbish! "Rubbish!" |
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Then a dangerous fight occurs between Princess Naeena and the witch.
No need for the word then, it sounds more fluid to leave out the then. |
|
The witch uses her magical powers and throws a thousand arrows toward Nazeena. The witch uses her magical powers and throws a thousand arrows at at is more natural than toward |
|
But with the help of her sword, Nazeena easily defends the attack. |
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