Aug. 2, 2025
Story of Ratnag part-4
After the king turned to his place, his mother Maya came to him and said:
Maya:
"Son, did you forget about the festival of the Goddess? When did you prepare for the festival?"
Akram:
"Sorry, Mother. I just forgot. Today, when I went to the jungle for hunting, I saw a magical eagle who could speak human language, and they tried to kill a girl."
With a surprised expression, his mother said:
Maya:
"What?! Is this a real incident or what?"
Akram:
"No, Mother. This is real."
Maya:
"Do you know, these eagles are the protectors of our family. They help us in every situation. I think this is a good sign for us."
Akram:
"But Mother, I just can't stop thinking about the girl I saw in the jungle. I think I liked her."
Maya:
"Who is she? Tell me, and I will send a marriage proposal to her family."
Akram:
"Mother, she is the princess of Hanspur, which is on the top-left side of the jungle."
Maya:
"Okay, I will send the message to the king of Hanspur."
After the king returned to his palace, his mother Maya came up to him and said:
¶ "Son, did you forget about the festival of the Goddess?
Maya:
¶
Both "place" and "palace" work here, but since you're writing about a king, I assume you meant "palace".
When did you prepare for the festival?"
Akram:
¶ said: "Sorry, Mother.
I just forgot.
Today, when I went tohunting in the jungle for hunting, I saw a magical eagle who could speak human language, and they tried to kill a girl."
Using "they" to refer to the eagle is fine, but it suggests that you are assigning a gender to the eagle. Otherwise, for non-gendered animals, we will use "it".
With a surprised expression, his mother said:
¶ "What?!
Maya:
¶
Is this a real incident or what?"
Akram:
¶"No, Mother.
Here, it is unnecessary to clarify that it is Akram who is speaking, because the reader will be able to infer it. You will see this when reading novels, in scenes where two characters are conversing with each other.
This is real."
Maya:
¶"Did you know
"Do, t? These eagles are the protectors of our family.
They help us in every situation.
I think this is a good sign for us."
Akram:
¶"But Mother, I just can't stop thinking about the girl I saw in the jungle.
I think I liked her."
Maya:
¶"Who is she?
Tell me, and I will send a marriage proposal to her family."
Akram:
¶"Mother, she is the princess of Hanspur, which is oin the top-leftnorth-western side of the jungle."
It is clear that when you wrote this sentence, you were visualising a 2-dimensional map with clearly defined top, bottom, left and right sides. However, in 3-dimensional actuality, we do not define the directions in this way, so using "top-left" here is ambiguous.
Maya:
¶"Okay, I will send the message to the king of Hanspur."
Feedback
There seems to be some confusion as to the format you should use when writing dialogue, so allow me to clarify.
Format 1:
[Character 1] said, [Dialogue]
[Character 2] said: [Dialogue]
This is used when writing prose (e.g. news articles, storybooks, novels, etc.). This format is what you should use most of the time. Also, in your writing, you used the colon (":"). Both the comma (",") and colon are fine, but the comma is far more common.
Format 2:
[Character 1]: [Dialogue]
[Character 2]: [Dialogue]
This is used when writing drama scripts for plays. When it comes to describing the characters' appearances and emotions, it follows its own set of rules.
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Maya: "Do you know, these eagles are the protectors of our family.
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They help us in every situation. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Story of Ratnag part-4 |
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After the king turned to his place, his mother Maya came to him and said: Maya: "Son, did you forget about the festival of the Goddess? After the king returned to his palace, his mother Maya came up to him and said: Both "place" and "palace" work here, but since you're writing about a king, I assume you meant "palace". |
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When did you prepare for the festival?" This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Akram: "Sorry, Mother. Akram |
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I just forgot. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Today, when I went to the jungle for hunting, I saw a magical eagle who could speak human language, and they tried to kill a girl." Today, when I went Using "they" to refer to the eagle is fine, but it suggests that you are assigning a gender to the eagle. Otherwise, for non-gendered animals, we will use "it". |
|
With a surprised expression, his mother said: Maya: "What?! With a surprised expression, his mother said: |
|
Is this a real incident or what?" This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Akram: "No, Mother.
Here, it is unnecessary to clarify that it is Akram who is speaking, because the reader will be able to infer it. You will see this when reading novels, in scenes where two characters are conversing with each other. |
|
This is real." This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I think this is a good sign for us." This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Akram: "But Mother, I just can't stop thinking about the girl I saw in the jungle.
|
|
I think I liked her." This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Maya: "Who is she?
|
|
Tell me, and I will send a marriage proposal to her family." This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Akram: "Mother, she is the princess of Hanspur, which is on the top-left side of the jungle."
It is clear that when you wrote this sentence, you were visualising a 2-dimensional map with clearly defined top, bottom, left and right sides. However, in 3-dimensional actuality, we do not define the directions in this way, so using "top-left" here is ambiguous. |
|
Maya: "Okay, I will send the message to the king of Hanspur."
|
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