Aug. 14, 2025
Story of Ratnag part 16
The portal opened in a forest. From the portal, a lady came out and started running because a black jackal also emerged from the portal and started chasing her. The jackal was fast and quickly caught up to the lady.
Within two minutes, the jackal came closer to her. Just when the jackal was about to attack, a gunshot was heard. The lady looked backward and saw a man whose clothing style was different from theirs. He had a weapon, with which he killed the jackal.
The lady, however, had suffered a serious injury and lost consciousness. When the man saw she was unconscious, he carried her in his arms and took her towards his house.
When the man was gone, the jackal came back to life and looked around the place. He said, “I think I came to the future. First, I have to find Anna and kill her, and give her blood to Layla. In this jackal form, it is very difficult to find her. I have to change into a person so that no one, especially Anna, can't recognize me.”
Then, the jackal transformed into a person and started walking towards a village nearby the jungle.
The portal opened in a forest.
From the portal, a lady came out and started running because a black jackal also emerged from the portal and started chasing her.
The jackal was fast and quickly caught up to the lady within two minutes.
Within two minutes, the jackal came closer to her.
This sentence is redundant, as it is effectively a repetition of the previous one. I'd suggest merging the two.
Just when the jackal was about to attack, a gunshot was heard.
The lady looked backward and saw a man whose clothing style was different from theirs.
Who is "theirs" referring to? Since there is only one lady, whose gender is also known, you should use "hers".
He had a weapon, with which he killed the jackal.
The lady, however, had suffered a serious injury and lost consciousness.
When the man saw she was unconscious, he carried her in his arms and took her towards his house.
When the man was gone, the jackal came back to life and looked around the place.
He said, “I think I've caome to the future.
"I've come" might be more appropriate here.
First, I have to find Anna and kill her, and give her blood to Layla.
In this jackal form, it is very difficult to find her.
I have to change into a person so that no one, especially Anna, can't recognize me.”
¶
Then, the jackal transformed into a person and started walking towards a village nearby the jungle.
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Story of Ratnag part 16 |
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The portal opened in a forest. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
From the portal, a lady came out and started running because a black jackal also emerged from the portal and started chasing her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The jackal was fast and quickly caught up to the lady. The jackal was fast and quickly caught up to the lady within two minutes. |
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Within two minutes, the jackal came closer to her.
This sentence is redundant, as it is effectively a repetition of the previous one. I'd suggest merging the two. |
|
Just when the jackal was about to attack, a gunshot was heard. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The lady looked backward and saw a man whose clothing style was different from theirs. The lady looked backward and saw a man whose clothing style was different from Who is "theirs" referring to? Since there is only one lady, whose gender is also known, you should use "hers". |
|
He had a weapon, with which he killed the jackal. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The lady, however, had suffered a serious injury and lost consciousness. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
When the man saw she was unconscious, he carried her in his arms and took her towards his house. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
When the man was gone, the jackal came back to life and looked around the place. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He said, “I think I came to the future. He said, “I think I've c "I've come" might be more appropriate here. |
|
First, I have to find Anna and kill her, and give her blood to Layla. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
In this jackal form, it is very difficult to find her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I have to change into a person so that no one, especially Anna, can't recognize me.” Then, the jackal transformed into a person and started walking towards a village nearby the jungle. I have to change into a person so that no one, especially Anna, can |
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