Aug. 11, 2025
Story of Ratnag part-13
In the jar, she saw her brother Bikram, and surprised, said, “Brother Bikram!”
Bikram looked confused and said, “Anna! Are you all right? Why are you here in this cave? This is the cave of Layla!”
Anna replied, “What? I ran away from Layla from East Gurukul, but unfortunately, the portal placed outside the cave closed. I saw a black jackal who attacked me, so I ran into the cave. In the cave, I saw the dead body of our family member lying on the other side.”
Then Bikram said, “What? Layla killed all of our family members?”
Anna said, “I heard some secret information about our family. Those who are dead from our family are not my real brothers and sisters. Even you are not my real brother ,you are the son of our minister.”
Bikram said, “What? What are you talking about? Are you mad or what?”
Anna replied, “Yes, this information is absolutely true. I heard it from our senior teacher Nayak.”
Then suddenly, a mysterious smile echoed from the darkness of the cave, and two red eyes appeared in the blackness.
Story of Ratnag p(Part- 13)
The hyphen isn't used here.
In the jar, she saw her brother Bikram, and surprised, said, “Brother Bikram!” Bikram looked confused and said, “Anna!
Are you all right?
Why are you here in this cave?
This is the cave of Layla!” Anna replied, “What?
I ran away from Layla from East Gurukul, but unfortunately, the portal placed outside the cave closed.
I saw aA black jackal who attacked me, so I ran into the cave.
I'd suggest removing the part about seeing the jackal, because it places emphasis on the fact that you saw one, rather than the fact that it attacked you.
Alternatively: "I ran into a black jackal and it attacked me".
In the cave, I saw the dead body of our family member lying on the other side.” Then Bikram said, “What?
Layla killed all of our family members?” Anna said, “I heard some secret information about our family.
Those who are dead from our family are not my real brothers and sisters.
Even you are not my real brother , you are the son of our minister.”
¶
Bikram said, “What?
What are you talking about?
Are you mad or what?”
¶
Anna replied, “YesNo, this information is absolutely true.
"No" might be more appropriate than "yes", since this follows the question "Are you mad or what?"
I heard it from our senior teacher Nayak.”
¶
Then suddenly, a mysterious smilelaugh echoed from the darkness of the cave, and two red eyes appeared in the blackness.
(1) A smile is not a sound and cannot echo.
(2) "Blackness" is fine, but "darkness" would be more common.
Feedback
When writing dialogue, you don't have to write "X said" or "Y replied" every time. See the example below.
———
In the jar, she saw her brother Bikram, and was surprised. “Brother Bikram!”
Bikram looked confused and said, “Anna! Are you all right? Why are you here in this cave? This is the cave of Layla!”
“What? I ran away from Layla from East Gurukul ... In the cave, I saw the dead body of our family member lying on the other side.”
“What? Layla killed all of our family members?”
———
The reader will be able to infer who is saying what, as long as you make it clear who spoke first.
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Story of Ratnag part-13 Story of Ratnag The hyphen isn't used here. |
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In the jar, she saw her brother Bikram, and surprised, said, “Brother Bikram!” Bikram looked confused and said, “Anna! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Are you all right? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Why are you here in this cave? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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This is the cave of Layla!” Anna replied, “What? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I ran away from Layla from East Gurukul, but unfortunately, the portal placed outside the cave closed. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I saw a black jackal who attacked me, so I ran into the cave.
I'd suggest removing the part about seeing the jackal, because it places emphasis on the fact that you saw one, rather than the fact that it attacked you. Alternatively: "I ran into a black jackal and it attacked me". |
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In the cave, I saw the dead body of our family member lying on the other side.” Then Bikram said, “What? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Layla killed all of our family members?” Anna said, “I heard some secret information about our family. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Those who are dead from our family are not my real brothers and sisters. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Even you are not my real brother ,you are the son of our minister.” Bikram said, “What? Even you are not my real brother |
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What are you talking about? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Are you mad or what?” Anna replied, “Yes, this information is absolutely true. Are you mad or what?” "No" might be more appropriate than "yes", since this follows the question "Are you mad or what?" |
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I heard it from our senior teacher Nayak.” Then suddenly, a mysterious smile echoed from the darkness of the cave, and two red eyes appeared in the blackness. I heard it from our senior teacher Nayak.” (1) A smile is not a sound and cannot echo. (2) "Blackness" is fine, but "darkness" would be more common. |
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