Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 12, 2024

1
Story about Lamb Kebabs (7) - interesting phenomenon

In today's entry, I will be presenting an interesting phenomenon that makes Uyghurs sometimes feel proud and happy.

The Uyghur people can be seen distinctly differently from us Han ethnicities. Yong Uyghur males and females have comparatively higher noses, similar to Westerners, and with lighter skins. All these facts meet beauty and attractiveness standards in most of our eyes. In addition, most Uyghurs specialize in singing and dancing, and these are indeed our Han's disadvantages. Therefore, some local Han people especially girls stayed longer times beside their stalls, because some of the owners might dance or sing songs while selling skewers.

The interesting thing that I cannot forget is that some individuals would like to take a photo of them, I found most of these people are from some rural or far away areas. I don't think people from Shanghai or Beijing would engage in such behaviors. At this moment, the Urghur individuals seemed a bit happy and proud.

Corrections

The Uyghur people can be seen distinctlytend to have a distinct physical appearance, differently from usthose of us with Han ethnicities.

I tried to revise your sentence to better convey the meaning I think you intended.

Young Uyghurs, both males and females, have comparatively higher noses, similar to Westerners, and with lighter skins.

No grammatical mistakes in your original sentence. It just seemed a little odd to specify each sex, i.e., "young Uyghur males and females" rather than simply saying "young Uyghurs". I assumed you included the reference to males and females to convey that the physical traits you describe are common to both sexes among the Uyghur population, so I rephrased a little to make this a bit more natural and clear.

All these facts meetThese characteristics align with beauty and attractiveness standards in most of our eyes.

I changed the wording a little to better reflect the context of beauty standards.

Who does the "our" in this sentence refer to? Are you talking about general beauty standards, and if so, global or specifically Chinese? Or are you talking about Han beauty standards in particular? If so, I would say "These characteristics align with beauty and attractiveness standards for most Han Chinese" or, "These characteristics align with most Han beauty and attractiveness standards."

In addition, most Uyghurs specialize in singing and dancing, and these are indeed our Han's disadvantages.Many Uyghurs are also gifted at singing and dancing, while many of us with Han backgrounds are less talented in these art forms.

I rephrased to make it sound a bit more natural.

Therefore,is leads some local Han people, especially girls, to stayed longer times beside their stalls, because some of the owners might dance or sing songs while beside the Uyghurs' stalls for longer, hoping to see a dance or hear a song from the owners as they selling skewers.

Again, the meaning of your original sentence was clear and the grammar was good; it just didn't sound quite natural overall.
- "Therefore" is a very formal word that you really only see in books and articles, especially academic ones. It's not incorrect at all, but most native English speakers don't use "therefore" very often in casual speech or writing, although sometimes people might do it to be funny. I do use it sincerely sometimes, but that's just because I'm a nerd :)
- "stayed longer times beside their stalls" sounds a bit off...we'd be more likely to say "stayed beside their stalls for longer"

- I also changed the sentence to present tense, rather than past tense as you originally used. From the title, I think you're telling a story about a trip you took to a Uyghur market, so it would be appropriate to use the past tense for that. However, you've been using the present tense up until now as you describe general qualities of the Uyghur people, and you haven't mentioned yet that you're telling a story, so it seems better to continue using the present tense until you introduce us to a specific event in the past, e.g., "Last Sunday, my friends and I took a day trip to a Uyghur village..." or something like that.

The interesting thing that I cannot forget is that some individuals would likeSomething really interesting that stayed with me is that some of the Han visitors wanted to take a photos of them, Uyghur vendors. I found that most of these people are from swho wanted to take pictures were frome rural or far away areas.

I don't think people from Shanghai or Beijing would engage in such behaviors.

At this momentHowever, the Uryghur individuals seemed a bitkind of happy and proud.

Again, no grammar issues in your original sentence. I just thought "However" seemed to make more sense than "At this moment" because it seemed like you were implying that you thought it was rude or inappropriate for people to want to take pictures of the Uyghurs, so you were surprised when the Uyghurs didn't seem to mind and were actually happy about it. I also think "kind of happy" sounds a more natural than "a bit happy", although both are technically correct.

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Great work! Thank you for sharing, this was interesting :)

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 13, 2024

1

Thank you! You have written more words than I have, giving me a very clear explanation and making this proofreading informative. :-)

In today's entry, I will be presenting an interesting phenomenon that makes Uyghurs sometimes feel proud and happy.

would put it that way "that sometimes makes Uyghurs feel proud and happy."

Young Uyghur males and females have comparatively higher noses, similar to Westerners, and with lighter skins.

All these facts meet beauty and attractiveness standards in most of our eyes.

"align" instead of "meet" fits better

At thisat moment, the Urghur individuals seemed a bit happy and proud.

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

Jan. 13, 2024

1

Thank you for your corrections!

Story about Lamb Kebabs (7) - interesting phenomenon


In today's entry, I will be presenting an interesting phenomenon that makes Uyghurs sometimes feel proud and happy.


In today's entry, I will be presenting an interesting phenomenon that makes Uyghurs sometimes feel proud and happy.

would put it that way "that sometimes makes Uyghurs feel proud and happy."

The Uyghur people can be seen distinctly differently from us Han ethnicities.


The Uyghur people can be seen distinctlytend to have a distinct physical appearance, differently from usthose of us with Han ethnicities.

I tried to revise your sentence to better convey the meaning I think you intended.

Yong Uyghur males and females have comparatively higher noses, similar to Westerners, and with lighter skins.


Young Uyghur males and females have comparatively higher noses, similar to Westerners, and with lighter skins.

Young Uyghurs, both males and females, have comparatively higher noses, similar to Westerners, and with lighter skins.

No grammatical mistakes in your original sentence. It just seemed a little odd to specify each sex, i.e., "young Uyghur males and females" rather than simply saying "young Uyghurs". I assumed you included the reference to males and females to convey that the physical traits you describe are common to both sexes among the Uyghur population, so I rephrased a little to make this a bit more natural and clear.

All these facts meet beauty and attractiveness standards in most of our eyes.


All these facts meet beauty and attractiveness standards in most of our eyes.

"align" instead of "meet" fits better

All these facts meetThese characteristics align with beauty and attractiveness standards in most of our eyes.

I changed the wording a little to better reflect the context of beauty standards. Who does the "our" in this sentence refer to? Are you talking about general beauty standards, and if so, global or specifically Chinese? Or are you talking about Han beauty standards in particular? If so, I would say "These characteristics align with beauty and attractiveness standards for most Han Chinese" or, "These characteristics align with most Han beauty and attractiveness standards."

In addition, most Uyghurs specialize in singing and dancing, and these are indeed our Han's disadvantages.


In addition, most Uyghurs specialize in singing and dancing, and these are indeed our Han's disadvantages.Many Uyghurs are also gifted at singing and dancing, while many of us with Han backgrounds are less talented in these art forms.

I rephrased to make it sound a bit more natural.

Therefore, some local Han people especially girls stayed longer times beside their stalls, because some of the owners might dance or sing songs while selling skewers.


Therefore,is leads some local Han people, especially girls, to stayed longer times beside their stalls, because some of the owners might dance or sing songs while beside the Uyghurs' stalls for longer, hoping to see a dance or hear a song from the owners as they selling skewers.

Again, the meaning of your original sentence was clear and the grammar was good; it just didn't sound quite natural overall. - "Therefore" is a very formal word that you really only see in books and articles, especially academic ones. It's not incorrect at all, but most native English speakers don't use "therefore" very often in casual speech or writing, although sometimes people might do it to be funny. I do use it sincerely sometimes, but that's just because I'm a nerd :) - "stayed longer times beside their stalls" sounds a bit off...we'd be more likely to say "stayed beside their stalls for longer" - I also changed the sentence to present tense, rather than past tense as you originally used. From the title, I think you're telling a story about a trip you took to a Uyghur market, so it would be appropriate to use the past tense for that. However, you've been using the present tense up until now as you describe general qualities of the Uyghur people, and you haven't mentioned yet that you're telling a story, so it seems better to continue using the present tense until you introduce us to a specific event in the past, e.g., "Last Sunday, my friends and I took a day trip to a Uyghur village..." or something like that.

The interesting thing that I cannot forget is that some individuals would like to take a photo of them, I found most of these people are from some rural or far away areas.


The interesting thing that I cannot forget is that some individuals would likeSomething really interesting that stayed with me is that some of the Han visitors wanted to take a photos of them, Uyghur vendors. I found that most of these people are from swho wanted to take pictures were frome rural or far away areas.

I don't think people from Shanghai or Beijing would engage in such behaviors.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

At this moment, the Urghur individuals seemed a bit happy and proud.


At thisat moment, the Urghur individuals seemed a bit happy and proud.

At this momentHowever, the Uryghur individuals seemed a bitkind of happy and proud.

Again, no grammar issues in your original sentence. I just thought "However" seemed to make more sense than "At this moment" because it seemed like you were implying that you thought it was rude or inappropriate for people to want to take pictures of the Uyghurs, so you were surprised when the Uyghurs didn't seem to mind and were actually happy about it. I also think "kind of happy" sounds a more natural than "a bit happy", although both are technically correct.

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