Dec. 27, 2021
2022 wishes
So, few days later will be 2022.
How many wishes you want to happen in 2022?
Health? Rich?
I got new one for myself.
I want to be “cool”.
I want other look at me and want me to be his/her best friend.
Do you think I can?
Correction Settings
2022 wishes
So, few days later will be 2022. So, few days later will be 2022.
See below for comments.
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Hello Alex!
Your text is understandable, thank you. However, in the paragraph below, I've made a few suggestions to help your text flow perhaps a bit better, and I've suggested a few different words. I hope this is helpful for you. They are just suggestions, so please feel free to ignore them!
Also, do you really need to start your story with the word, "So"? The use of "so" suggests that you are continuing directly from a previous text. "So" helps to connect a previous idea with a current one, or indicates that you are developing further a previous piece of writing. I appreciate that it is used quite informally by some when no connection is intended or exists. However, in my opinion, it is being overused in this way these days and, as you are trying to improve your standard of English here, it might be better avoided unless, of course, you are using it to make such a connection and I've missed it! This is just my opinion, and you are free to write in whatever way is pleasing to you and serves your purpose!
One other thing is that you may now wish to try and bring your sentences together so that they seem less disjointed. Bringing them together into one (or two paragraphs) would help the text and your ideas to flow better for your reader. At the moment, your text appears disconnected and the sentences appear "stand-alone". When writing in English (and I would say for most other languages), sentences are ideally arranged into a flowing paragraph or paragraphs, without big gaps between each sentence.
Look at this example of a contrast:
My name is John.
My friends usually call me Johnny.
I don't mind that.
What do you think?
____
My name is John but my friends usually call me Johnny. I don't mind being called that but I would like to know what you think.
____
The second text layout and use of joining words make for easier and more interesting reading, I think!
Now, for the suggested text:
Wishes for 2022
In a few days’ time, it will be 2022. How many wishes would you like to make for 2022? Perhaps your wishes could be for good health or riches? I have a new wish for myself: I want to be “cool”! I would like others to look at me and feel they want to be friends with me. Do you think this is possible?
Sincerely,
mjm
Dec. 28, 2021
thanks
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2022 wishes This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So, few days later will be 2022. So, few days later will be 2022. So, few days later will be 2022. See below for comments. |
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How many wishes you want to happen in 2022? |
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Health? |
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Rich? |
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I got new one for myself. |
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I want to be “cool”. |
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I want other look at me and want me to be his/her best friend. |
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Do you think I can? |
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