The other day, I watched a video, titled “Sous La Saine” offered byn Netflix.

My French teacher advised me to watch it, so I signed in to Netflix.

The huge and ferocious shark, after having gotten evolved, attacked a lot of people, including even a woman from an Animal protection organization.

Not sure what your meaning is here, but evolved does not make sense.

She was an enthusiastic activist protesting against the massacres of sharks by humans.

It’s quite ironical that she herself ended up being killed by a shark.

The most hellish scenes were on the Triathlon venue at the Paris Olympic intowards the lastend of the film.

The players were attacked by sharks one after another, and the armed forces fired against the sharks, leading to explosions caused by unexploded shells that had sunk into the bottom of the Saine.

Then, a big tsunami gulpflooded everything throughin the city.

What a helldisaster!

What do the film producers think just before the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris?

Not sure what your meaning is here, but this doesn't make sense

My French teacher advised me to watch it, so I signed in Netflix., and watch

Continue the sentence with the next

Tthe video, which features a shark swimming around the river Saine, it was a kind of horror movie, and I was scared to watch it.

The huge and ferocious shark, after having gotten evolveding, attacked a lot of people, including even a woman from an Animal protection organization.

She was an enthusiastic activist protesting against the massacres of sharks by humans.

It’s quite ironical that she herself ended up being killed by a shark.

Yes it is.

The other day, I watched a video, titled “Sous La Saine” offered byn Netflix.

Using "offered" is correct but verrrry formal. One would watch something ON a streaming service.

My French teacher advised me to watch it, so I signed in to/on to Netflix.

The huge and ferocious shark, after having gotten evolved, attacked a lot of people, including even a woman from an Aanimal protection organization.

Because animal protection organization is not a proper noun, the a in animal would not be capitilized.

She was an enthusiastic activist protesting against the massacres of sharks by humans.

It’s quite ironical that she herself ended up being killed by a shark.

The most hellish scenes were on the Ttriathlon venue at the Paris Olympic s during the lastend of the film.

The playcharacters were attacked by sharks one after another, and the armed forces fired against the sharks, leading to explosions caused by unexploded shells that had sunk into the bottm of the Saine.

Then, a big tsunami gulped everything through ththe entire city.

What a hell!

What doid the film producers think, just before the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris?

The other day, I watched a video, titmovie, called “Sous La Saeine” offered byn Netflix.

When it comes to a specific object where a more specific word exists. Try to use the more specific word. (Movie, Series, Episode).


Offered and titled sound way too formal and intellectual. (Use it more in an essay).

My French teacher advised me torecommended I watch it, so I signed inlogged onto Netflix.

Advise also sounds too formal.

For past tense complete, logged onto is much better. I signed in kind of sounds liek you're still signed in, but you signed in in the past.

The videofilm, which featuresd a shark swimming around the river SaineSeine river, was a kind of horror movie, and I was scared to watch it.

The huge and ferocious shark, after having gotten evolveding, attacked a lot ofmany people, even including even a woman from an Animal protection organization.

The word" after" states that the action is definite, it means the action has the charactersitic of already being completed. Therefore, no more tense words such as "having" and "gotten" are needed, as the sentence already reads as if the action has been completed.


a lot of people sounds a bit clunky in this sentence.

She was an enthusiastic activist who protestinged against thehumans massacres of shark by humans.

"humans massacre of sharks" is said like a broad statement. "Humans" is said as if including all humans.

You could almost remove the "humans" bit as well because it can sort of be already assumed that it is humans she is protesting against. It is not a regular thing for people to protest against another animals killing sharks, it would usually be humans. I hope this makes sense? The humans bit can usually be assumed within a "protesting" context. You would more specify the group if it was a specific set of people or group you want to say she was protesting against.

"who protested against the fishing indisutries massacre of sharks." -> see how this is a more specific sub-group of people (humans).

It’s was quite ironical that she herself ended up being killed by athe shark.

"A" shark infers it's a single shark, but from a larger group of sharks (Usually a very large group like a whole species in this case). THE shark implies it is more selective. From what i've read so far, it sounds like it is only one sharks. -> Correction it is a shark, but if you want to say "a shark" it needs to be implied already that there are multiple of its kind. From what i read up to here, it sounds like there is only one shark which has evolved, but in a couple lines it switches to saying there are many. Its confusing me a bit.

The most hellish but last scenes were on the Triathlon venue at the Paris Olympics, in the last of the filtriathlon stadium.

At is used for a general area, and in is more for specific location, like inside of a venue. At a venue could mean outside or inside the venue, just in its proximity.

Try to give the broader details first, then the more specific ones after.


Also i appologies but i cant understand whant you meant by "on"? If you meant on the roof of the triathalon stadium, it would be "on to of". May also be "above" if they were in the air. .... etc.....

Just since youre trying to describe in detail the film, make sure to be more specific about the details you're describing.


Stadium is more specific for this instance. Saying a venue is very broad. -> Stadium is bigger in scale than a regular venue.

The players wereathletes were being attacked by sharks one after another, andwhen the armed forces fired against sharks, leading to explosions caused byy began firing at them. It caused explosions from all the unexploded shells that had sunk into the bottom of the Saeine.

Athletes is much more specific. A player can be anyone playing in a sport. Since it is in the Olympics, it is "Athletes" because theyre professionals.

Here is where you mention there being multiple sharks -> please make sure the amount of it is introduced or kept consistent during your peice. "The sharks and one after another" both imply there are alot of sharks.



You kind of need to include the tense of the sentence when you want to include another varible, in this case the army starting to shoot at them.
This (the athletes were being attacked) was happening: when (the army started shooting at the sharks).

Then, a big tsunami gulpedswept up everything throughout the city.

Gulped is a bit too informal, in fact it dont think its said much if not at all.


Throughout = through but including everthing in it.

What athe hell!

What a hell isnt really said.... What the hell can be said. What the hell means (What the fuck, oh my god), showing shock and surprise.

What a nightmare the word to be used in the way "what a hell" sounds like. = a bad dream, but can be used to express how bad a hypothetical situation would be.

What doid the film producers think making this just before the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris?

Some of this information has already been said or can be assumed. You already said it was in paris, and with an event which is of such wide spread awareness, and is in close proximity, you dont need to mention the date. You would only mention the date if it was a previous or future olympics which is very far away. "Before the summer olympics" works fine because just about everybody knows there is about to be an olympic games and in Paris.