karlalou's avatar
karlalou

Feb. 4, 2024

0
Sounds I Hear 2-1 [revised]

(I want it to be like a casual novel. Like Amy Tan.)
Now it has already become decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost every day to the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song. They were slim, middle-sized birds, very modest in appearance. Once when I stepped out onto the small balcony in the middle of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them from a very short distance. They were sitting on the fence there showing their back to me, and I saw their long tails. (to be continued)


今となってはもうすっかり昔(十年一昔と言うから)のことになってしまったけれど、あの頃、毎日のようにうちの台所の窓のところへ来て面白い鳴き声を披露してくれていたつがいの鳥があった。ほっそりとした中型の鳥で、地味な色をしていた。一度、アパートの建物の真ん中にあるベランダのようなところへ出たときに、真近で見る機会を得た。彼らは背を向けてそこにあるフェンスに留まっていて、私は彼らのけっこう長い尾を目撃した。(つづく)

随筆アメリカ生活
Corrections

Now iIt has already becomen decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost every day to the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song.

They were slim, middle-sized birds, very modest in appearance.

Once when I stepped out onto the small balcony in the middle of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them from a very short distance.

They were sitting on the fence there showing their back, backs turned to me, and I saw their long tails.

karlalou's avatar
karlalou

Feb. 5, 2024

0

I want it to mean like the Japanese, but how about "It has totally become a thing of the past now, but ..." For the other one, I see that 'bird' is an error, but can I just correct it to 'birds' and keep the rest as it is?

killergerbah's avatar
killergerbah

Feb. 5, 2024

0

Here are some other ways to say the beginning part:
"It feels like ages ago, but..."
"It has been so long that it feels like a distant memory, but..."

Yes, changing "back" to "backs" would be grammatically correct: "They were sitting on the fence there showing their backs to me, and I saw their long tails."

karlalou's avatar
karlalou

Feb. 5, 2024

0

Thank you!

Sounds I Hear 2-1 [revised]


(I want it to be like a casual novel.


Like Amy Tan.)


Now it has already become decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost every day to the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song.


Now iIt has already becomen decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost every day to the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song.

They were slim, middle-sized birds, very modest in appearance.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Once when I stepped out onto the small balcony in the middle of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them from a very short distance.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

They were sitting on the fence there showing their back to me, and I saw their long tails.


They were sitting on the fence there showing their back, backs turned to me, and I saw their long tails.

(to be continued)


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