Jan. 31, 2024
(I want it to be like a casual novel. Like Amy Tan.)
Now it has become decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost everyday at the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song. They were very modest in appearance and slim middle sized birds. Once, when I went outside to the small gallery at the light well of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them very short distance. They were sitting on the fence there showing their back to me and I witnessed their long tails. There were several seconds before they flew away saying kakakakakaka... I think they delayed to notice me. Their name turned out to be 'mourning bird.' It was a very unexpected name to me because their voice was, soft but rather, eccentric and amusing. They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone, then once in the phrase it becomes about one octave higher and say 'He'. I don't know what they were mourning about, but they have not visited me for quite some time.
今となってはもうすっかり昔(十年一昔と言うから)のことになってしまったけれど、あの頃、しばらくの間、毎日のようにうちの台所の窓のところへ来て面白い鳴き声を披露してくれていたつがいの鳥があった。姿は地味でほっそりとした中型の鳥だった。一度、アパートの光取りにあるちょっとした渡り廊下へ出たときに、真近で見る機会を得た。彼らは背を向けてそこにあるフェンスに留まっていて、私は彼らのけっこう長い尾を目撃した。彼らがカカカカカカ…と言って飛び立つまでに数秒あった。私に気づくのが遅れたのだろう。それはナゲキバトという鳥だと分かった。私はその鳴き声がすっとんきょうで面白いと思っていたから、意外な名前だった。ホウ、ホウ、ホウ、と、フクロウの声をもっと高くしたような柔らかい声だが、何度目かは、ㇶー、と、1オクターブくらい高くなる。何を嘆いていたのか知らないけれど、あれから来なくなってもうずいぶん長くなる。
Now it has becomen decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost everyday ato the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song/tune.
They were very modest in appearance and slim middle sized birdsslim, middle-sized birds, very modest in appearance.
Once, when I went outside to the ?small gallery at the light well? of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them very short distancup close.
I'm sorry - wasn't sure what you meant by small gallery at the light well. I'd be happy to offer a correction if you could clarify for me. :)
They were sitting on the fence there showingwith their back to me, and I witnessednoticed/saw their long tails.
There wereIt was several seconds before they flew away sayinging kakakakakaka...
I think they delayedit took them a little to notice me.
Their name of those birds turned out to be 'mourning birddove.'
ItThis was a very unexpected name to me because their voice was, soft but rather, eccentric and amusing.
They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone, then once in the phrase it. One of the hoots becomes about one octave higher and sayounds more like 'He'.
I don't know what they were mourning about, but they have not visited me for quite some time.
Feedback
As I was reading this, a mourning dove called outside my window. :)
Sounds I Hear 2
(I want it to be like a casual novel.
Like Amy Tan.)
Now it has become decades ago, but around that timeDecades ago, there was a pair of birds coming almost everyday at the kitchen window and, reciting an interesting song.
"Now it has become decades ago, but around that time" sounds very unnatural, "decades ago" evokes the feeling of it being a long time ago without using so many words
They were very modest in appearance and slim middle sized birds, modest in appearance.
Not necessarily incorrect but this sounds more "novel-y"
Once, when I went outside to the small gallery at the light well of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them very short distanceclosely.
They were sitting on the fence there showing their back to me and I witnessed their long tails.
There were sSeveral seconds passed before they flew away saying kakakakakaka...
more natural
I think they delayfailed to notice me.
"delayed" sounds odd, doesn't really make sense. "failed" implies they didn't notice you which is what i imagine you were going for
Their name turned out to be 'mourning bird.'
It was a very unexpected name to me because their voice was, soft but rather, eccentric and amusing.
They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone, then once in the phrase it becomes about one octave higher and saythey go 'He'.
I don't know what they were mourning about, but they have not visited me for quite some time.
Feedback
Really nice! I wish I was that good at writing in Japanese
Now iIt hwas become decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost every day ato the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song.
every day (two words)
They were very modest in appearance and slim, middle sized birds.
Once, when I went outside to the small gallery at the light well of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them [from a very short distance | up close].
They were sitting on the fence there showing their backs to me and I witnesssaw / spied / discerned their long tails.
There were sSeveral seconds passed before they flew away saying kakakakakaka...
I think they delayed to notice me.
I don’t understand this. “They delayed” implies that they did this deliberately—they chose to delay. Is this what you mean?
Their name turned out to be 'mourning bird.'
Do you mean a mourning dove? Probably not, as they’re not at all slim.
It was a very unexpected name to me because their voice was,calls / songs were soft but rather, eccentric and amusing.
They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone, then once in the phrase it becomes about one octave higher and they say 'He'.
This description does sound like the call of a mourning dove. I learned to imitate a mourning dove’s song when I was younger and can still do it now. Sometimes they will answer me as if we’re talking. I have no idea what we’re saying, though. :-)
I don't know what they were mourning about, but they have not visited me for quite some time.
Feedback
Mourning dove photo & song:
https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mourning_Dove/overview#
Sounds I Hear 2 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
(I want it to be like a casual novel. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Like Amy Tan.) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
Now it has become decades ago, but around that time there was a pair of birds coming almost everyday at the kitchen window and reciting an interesting song.
every day (two words)
"Now it has become decades ago, but around that time" sounds very unnatural, "decades ago" evokes the feeling of it being a long time ago without using so many words Now it has be |
They were very modest in appearance and slim middle sized birds. They were very modest in appearance and slim, middle sized birds. They were very modest Not necessarily incorrect but this sounds more "novel-y" They were |
Once, when I went outside to the small gallery at the light well of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them very short distance. Once, when I went outside to the small gallery at the light well of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them [from a very short distance | up close]. Once, when I went outside to the small gallery at the light well of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them very Once, when I went outside to the ?small gallery at the light well? of the apartment building, I had a chance to see them I'm sorry - wasn't sure what you meant by small gallery at the light well. I'd be happy to offer a correction if you could clarify for me. :) |
They were sitting on the fence there showing their back to me and I witnessed their long tails. They were sitting on the fence there showing their backs to me and I This sentence has been marked as perfect! They were sitting on the fence there |
There were several seconds before they flew away saying kakakakakaka...
more natural
|
I think they delayed to notice me. I think they delayed to notice me. I don’t understand this. “They delayed” implies that they did this deliberately—they chose to delay. Is this what you mean? I think they "delayed" sounds odd, doesn't really make sense. "failed" implies they didn't notice you which is what i imagine you were going for I think |
Their name turned out to be 'mourning bird.' Their name turned out to be 'mourning bird.' Do you mean a mourning dove? Probably not, as they’re not at all slim. This sentence has been marked as perfect! The |
It was a very unexpected name to me because their voice was, soft but rather, eccentric and amusing. It was a very unexpected name to me because their It was a very unexpected name to me because their voice was
|
They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone, then once in the phrase it becomes about one octave higher and say 'He'. They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone, then once in the phrase it becomes about one octave higher and they say 'He'. This description does sound like the call of a mourning dove. I learned to imitate a mourning dove’s song when I was younger and can still do it now. Sometimes they will answer me as if we’re talking. I have no idea what we’re saying, though. :-) They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone, then once in the phrase it becomes about one octave higher and They say hoot, hoot, hoot, like owls, but in a higher tone |
I don't know what they were mourning about, but they have not visited me for quite some time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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