perth's avatar
perth

July 28, 2023

5
Something that I want to do is built my own business.

I am passionate about business since I was young and I like a lot to seek opportunities that are not met. It's like a found treasure for me but because of my self-doubt that blocks me from success with it for a long time. Now I am done with the struggle and trying to do that thing no matter what it takes. and I think the last material may be some luck!

Corrections

Something that I want to do is builtd my own business.

Built is the past tense, so build instead - you could also use "start" or "create", but build works as well :)

I amhave been passionate about business since I was young and I like a lot to seek opportunities that are not met.

It's like a found treasure for me, but because of my self-doubt thats blocksed me from being success withful in it for a long time.

perth's avatar
perth

Oct. 5, 2023

5

Thank you so much.

Something that I want to do is builtd my own business.

Built is past tense

I amhave been passionate about business since I was young, and I like a lot to seek opportunities that are not yet met.

It's like a found treasure for me, but because of my self-doubt thats blocksed me from success with it for a long time.

“Found treasure” is not quite right here. Maybe you are looking for something more like, “It has always been my dream, …”

Now I am done with the struggle, and tryI am willing to do that thing no matter what it takes.

Or “Now I am done with the self-doubt,…”

and I think the last materialthing I need may be some luck!

Feedback

Very good! I hope you are able to start your business one day!

perth's avatar
perth

July 28, 2023

5

thanks for the feedback 😊

Something that I want to do is built my own business.

I amhave been passionate about businesses since I was young, and I like a lotreally like to seek opportunities that are not met.

Since it was a goal in the past as well as the present, "have been" works best here. Also "I like to seek new opportunities" is probably the best sounding phrase. I would use that, but I'm trying not to change your wording too much.

When I talk about liking something, I say "I really like [that thing]" or "I like [that thing] a lot." So I changed your wording.

It's like a found treasure for me, but because of my self-doubt thats blocksed me from success with it for a long time.

Now I am done with the struggle and trying to do that thing no matter what it takes.

and I think the last materialthing I need may be some luck!

Material sounds weird here. I think of a 'material' as being a physical thing, such as wood. You can also say:
-... the last missing piece ...
-... the final key...
-... another element I need ...

Feedback

I hope your business goes well if you manage to start one up! Its a cool dream to have!

perth's avatar
perth

July 28, 2023

5

and I think the last materialthing I need may be some luck!

I really appreciate your feedback thanks a lot.

Something that I want to do is built my own business.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Something that I want to do is builtd my own business.

Built is past tense

Something that I want to do is builtd my own business.

Built is the past tense, so build instead - you could also use "start" or "create", but build works as well :)

I am passionate about business since I was young and I like a lot to seek opportunities that are not met.


I amhave been passionate about businesses since I was young, and I like a lotreally like to seek opportunities that are not met.

Since it was a goal in the past as well as the present, "have been" works best here. Also "I like to seek new opportunities" is probably the best sounding phrase. I would use that, but I'm trying not to change your wording too much. When I talk about liking something, I say "I really like [that thing]" or "I like [that thing] a lot." So I changed your wording.

I amhave been passionate about business since I was young, and I like a lot to seek opportunities that are not yet met.

I amhave been passionate about business since I was young and I like a lot to seek opportunities that are not met.

It's like a found treasure for me but because of my self-doubt that blocks me from success with it for a long time.


It's like a found treasure for me, but because of my self-doubt thats blocksed me from success with it for a long time.

It's like a found treasure for me, but because of my self-doubt thats blocksed me from success with it for a long time.

“Found treasure” is not quite right here. Maybe you are looking for something more like, “It has always been my dream, …”

It's like a found treasure for me, but because of my self-doubt thats blocksed me from being success withful in it for a long time.

Now I am done with the struggle and trying to do that thing no matter what it takes.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Now I am done with the struggle, and tryI am willing to do that thing no matter what it takes.

Or “Now I am done with the self-doubt,…”

and I think the last material may be some luck!


and I think the last materialthing I need may be some luck!

Material sounds weird here. I think of a 'material' as being a physical thing, such as wood. You can also say: -... the last missing piece ... -... the final key... -... another element I need ...

and I think the last materialthing I need may be some luck!

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