yesterday
Solo Trip
My first trip was a solo trip.
I was twenty-two years old and I just broke with my ex boyfriend.
At the same times, I left my job.
I told myself: "I quit one guy, I can quit two!".
Therefore, I return at the beginning: my mother's home.
Sadness.
It was like a big regression and it was really hard to me, because I lived alone since my seventeen years old.
At this moment, my self esteem and self confidence were not far from zero.
So I decided to realize one of my biggest dream : go alone at the other side of the world, in New Zealand.
At worst, I will dead there and I don't care, because I'm dead anyway.
At best, I will learn a lot of thing, about life and myself.
Result : I'm alive so....
It was my best trip ever and next year, I start again for one year.
Solo Trip
My first trip was a solo trip.
I was twenty-two years old and I had just broken up with my ex boyfriend.
At the same times, I had left my job.
I told myself: "I quit one guy, I can quit two!".
ThereforeSo, I return at the beginning: ed to my origins: my mother's home.
or "I had to restart from the beginning: at my mother's home"
I think it sounds weird because a "home" cannot be a "beginning," it can only be a place where something began
Sadness.
It was like a big regression and it was really hard tofor me, because I had lived alone since myI was seventeen years old.
I would drop "like a" from "like a big regression" in writing, but it's normal when speaking
At thisat moment, my self -esteem and self -confidence were not far from zero.
"that" is better since the moment is far away from your current situation, whereas "this moment" sounds like you're talking about something currently happening
So I decided to realize one of my biggest dream s: go alone ato the other side of the world, into New Zealand.
At worst, I will deadould die there andbut I doidn't care, because I'm was dead anyway.
change to past tense
At best, I will learn a lot of things, about life and myself.
Result : I'm alive so....
It was my best trip ever and next year, I startwill go back again for one year.
Feedback
My sources are biased (Australians) but they always say those Kiwi folk are weird... xP
yesterday
Thank you for the feedback!
Haha, maybe, but I like weirdos! (Because I am one)
yesterday
I agree with all the corrections @gaezer made. I have one to add:
The original used a parallel structure: "at worst I will . . . at I best will."
If you change the tense of the first possibility, you should also change the tense of the second possibility to maintain the parallel structure:
"At worst, I would die there; but I didn't care, because I was dead anyway."
"At best, I would learn a lot of things, about life and myself."
yesterday
I'm with you there zanyzoe lol (I too am a weirdo, of sorts)
Good catch Liag, you're right.
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Solo Trip This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My first trip was a solo trip. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I was twenty-two years old and I just broke with my ex boyfriend. I was twenty-two years old and I had just broken up with my ex boyfriend. |
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At the same times, I left my job. At the same time |
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I told myself: "I quit one guy, I can quit two!". This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Therefore, I return at the beginning: my mother's home.
or "I had to restart from the beginning: at my mother's home" I think it sounds weird because a "home" cannot be a "beginning," it can only be a place where something began |
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Sadness. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It was like a big regression and it was really hard to me, because I lived alone since my seventeen years old. It was like a big regression and it was really hard I would drop "like a" from "like a big regression" in writing, but it's normal when speaking |
|
At this moment, my self esteem and self confidence were not far from zero. At th "that" is better since the moment is far away from your current situation, whereas "this moment" sounds like you're talking about something currently happening |
|
So I decided to realize one of my biggest dream : go alone at the other side of the world, in New Zealand. So I decided to realize one of my biggest dream |
|
At worst, I will dead there and I don't care, because I'm dead anyway. At worst, I w change to past tense |
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At best, I will learn a lot of thing, about life and myself. At best, I will learn a lot of things, about life and myself. |
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Result : I'm alive so.... This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was my best trip ever and next year, I start again for one year. It was my best trip ever and next year, I |
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