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fengqq

today

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Simple Life

Soon, I was all alone here. I have to wait a day beacuse I couldn't get the ticket. Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines. The golden light slants across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warm.


很快,这里只剩我一个人。因为没有买到票,只好多待一天。虽然是冬天,但太阳还是不忘光顾。金光斜照在地上,与夏天的炽热不同,它带来希望和温暖。

Corrections

Simple Life

Soon, I wasill be all alone here.

I have to wait a day beacuse I couldn't get the ticket.

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

The golden light slants across the ground, u. Unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warm.

Feedback

You are a very poetic writer.

Soon after, I was all alone here.

"soon," on it's own reads more like you're about to talk about something in the future from the point you wrote this. With more context, it could be used the way you used it, but since it's the first sentence of your piece, I don't think that really works. "Soon after" on the other hand puts it as a very short while later after some unspecified event.

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

"Even though" at the start of the sentence already points out the contrast between the two clauses here, so you don't need "but" as well

The golden light slanthines across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warmth.

I think "slants" is intended to be a bit poetic here, but we don't really use "slants" like that in English.

I haved to wait a day beacause I couldn't get the ticket.

Use past tense (“had to wait”) to match the rest of the narrative.
Fixed the spelling of “beacuse” to “because.”

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

Remove “but”—it’s redundant after “even though.”

The golden light slants across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can brings hope and warmth.

“Brings hope and warmth” is more natural than “bring hope and warm.”

Feedback

The corrections are mostly about tense consistency, spelling, and smoother phrasing, but your imagery is already strong and I like it. Good job, keep writing! 🤍

I have to wait a day beacause I couldn't get the ticket.

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

The golden light slants across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warmth.

Simple Life


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Soon, I was all alone here.


Soon after, I was all alone here.

"soon," on it's own reads more like you're about to talk about something in the future from the point you wrote this. With more context, it could be used the way you used it, but since it's the first sentence of your piece, I don't think that really works. "Soon after" on the other hand puts it as a very short while later after some unspecified event.

Soon, I wasill be all alone here.

I have to wait a day beacuse I couldn't get the ticket.


I have to wait a day beacause I couldn't get the ticket.

I haved to wait a day beacause I couldn't get the ticket.

Use past tense (“had to wait”) to match the rest of the narrative. Fixed the spelling of “beacuse” to “because.”

I have to wait a day beacuse I couldn't get the ticket.

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.


Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

Remove “but”—it’s redundant after “even though.”

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

"Even though" at the start of the sentence already points out the contrast between the two clauses here, so you don't need "but" as well

Even though it is winter, but the sun still shines.

The golden light slants across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warm.


The golden light slants across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warmth.

The golden light slants across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can brings hope and warmth.

“Brings hope and warmth” is more natural than “bring hope and warm.”

The golden light slanthines across the ground, unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warmth.

I think "slants" is intended to be a bit poetic here, but we don't really use "slants" like that in English.

The golden light slants across the ground, u. Unlike the heat of summer, it can bring hope and warm.

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