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pgerum

May 18, 2020

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Short Story 2

The coffee tastes like yesterday. The gray weather matches my mood just as the sunny weather did these past days. I examine the table standing before me. Several beer bottles stand there, empty, half-drunk, stale. While moving my head, I feel a burst of pain; the hangover still lingers. I glance at the coffee cup and see it is empty already. “It’s your fault,” I think to myself while dragging myself out of the room.

I close my eyes, and her features flash in my mind: the soft touch, the sweaty skin. I can see her by the stairs, pulling me by the arms, guiding me away from the group of friends who drank merrily. The room is dimly lit, and all I can make out is her silhouette, as though an angel moved fluidly around me. Sitting by my side, she places both hands on my cheeks and pulls me closer.

In the living-room, my friend squirms on the couch, the brightness of day and my steps waking him up. Looking up at me, he sees my face reddened, my demeanor giving away something was not right. “Is everything alright, man?” he asks, suddenly sitting upright.

“It all happened so fast. I could not really think straight, you know? It was unexpected; I did not know it would happen. I should never have invited her over. One moment I was drinking with you, and then we were upstairs, alone. You know I had never done that, right? I tried to resist, but couldn’t,” I stop, the confession stuck in my throat. He seems shocked at first. We stay there, silent, for a few moments. None of us wanted to speak.

The bell rings, and I open the door. Lauren stands there as though she wanted to throw at my face what I did. But she seems distraught. “I came to apologize. I should never have done that to you.” she starts. “I just don’t want to talk about that now,” I reply, trying to hide the struggle I feel in my guts. “It’d be better if you just left,” I say, dismissing her. A cry of agony and despair emanates from my stomach as I see her walking away.

It’s a week later, and my vacation is over. I sit in my assigned place, and the rector stops in front of me. “I heard what happened. The seminary is serious, and you do not seem to fit here. God has other plans for you. We part today.”

My luggage is packed and ready. Anticipating my fate, I had decided to leave it untouched from my arrival. I gather my belongings and cross the gate. Lauren waves at me. “The rector told me you would be dismissed today. I came because I felt it was my fault, and it was beyond my right to do what I did.” Deep in my heart, I feel a strange relief and warmth. It turns out God did have other plans for me.

Corrections

Short Story 2

The coffee tastes like yesterday.

The gray weather matches my mood just as the sunny weather did these past days.

I examine the table standing before me.

Several beer bottles stand there, empty, half-drunk, stale.

While moving my head, I feel a burst of pain; the hangover still lingers.

I glance at the coffee cup and see it is empty already.

“It’s your fault,” I think to myself while dragging myself out of the room.

I close my eyes, and her features flash in my mind: the soft touch, the sweaty skin.

I can see her by the stairs, pulling me by the arms, guiding me away from the group of friends who drank merrily.

The room is dimly lit, and all I can make out is her silhouette, as though an angel moved fluidly around me.

Sitting by my side, she places both hands on my cheeks and pulls me closer.

In the living-room, my friend squirms on the couch, the brightness of day and my steps waking him up.

Looking up at me, he sees my face reddened, my demeanor giving away something was not right.

“Is everything alright, man?” he asks, suddenly sitting upright.

“It all happened so fast.

I could not really think straight, you know?

It was unexpected; I did not know it would happen.

I should never have invited her over.

One moment I was drinking with you, and then we were upstairs, alone.

You know I had never done that, right?

I tried to resist, but couldn’t,” I stop, the confession stuck in my throat.

He seems shocked at first.

We stay there, silent, for a few moments.

None of us wanted to speak.

The bell rings, and I open the door.

Lauren stands there as though she wanted to throw atit in my face what I did.

But she seems distraught.

“I came to apologize.

I should never have done that to you.” she starts.

“I just don’t want to talk about that now,” I reply, trying to hide the struggle I feel in my guts.

“It’d be better if you just left,” I say, dismissing her.

A cry of agony and despair emanates from my stomach as I see her walking away.

It’s a week later, and my vacation is over.

I sit in my assigned place, and the rector stops in front of me.

“I heard what happened.

The seminary is serious, and you do not seem to fit here.

God has other plans for you.

We part today.”

My luggage is packed and ready.

Anticipating my fate, I had decided to leave it untouched fromsince my arrival.

I gather my belongings and cross the gate.

Lauren waves at me.

“The rector told me you would be dismissed today.

I came because I felt it was my fault, and it was beyond my right to do what I did.” Deep in my heart, I feel a strange relief and warmth.

It turns out God did have other plans for me.

Feedback

Poetic

We part today.”


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Lauren waves at me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Short Story 2


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The coffee tastes like yesterday.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The gray weather matches my mood just as the sunny weather did these past days.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I examine the table standing before me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Several beer bottles stand there, empty, half-drunk, stale.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

While moving my head, I feel a burst of pain; the hangover still lingers.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I glance at the coffee cup and see it is empty already.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“It’s your fault,” I think to myself while dragging myself out of the room.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I close my eyes, and her features flash in my mind: the soft touch, the sweaty skin.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I can see her by the stairs, pulling me by the arms, guiding me away from the group of friends who drank merrily.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The room is dimly lit, and all I can make out is her silhouette, as though an angel moved fluidly around me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Sitting by my side, she places both hands on my cheeks and pulls me closer.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

In the living-room, my friend squirms on the couch, the brightness of day and my steps waking him up.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Looking up at me, he sees my face reddened, my demeanor giving away something was not right.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“Is everything alright, man?” he asks, suddenly sitting upright.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“It all happened so fast.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I could not really think straight, you know?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It was unexpected; I did not know it would happen.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I should never have invited her over.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

One moment I was drinking with you, and then we were upstairs, alone.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You know I had never done that, right?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I tried to resist, but couldn’t,” I stop, the confession stuck in my throat.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He seems shocked at first.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

We stay there, silent, for a few moments.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

None of us wanted to speak.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The bell rings, and I open the door.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Lauren stands there as though she wanted to throw at my face what I did.


Lauren stands there as though she wanted to throw atit in my face what I did.

But she seems distraught.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“I came to apologize.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I should never have done that to you.” she starts.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“I just don’t want to talk about that now,” I reply, trying to hide the struggle I feel in my guts.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“It’d be better if you just left,” I say, dismissing her.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A cry of agony and despair emanates from my stomach as I see her walking away.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It’s a week later, and my vacation is over.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I sit in my assigned place, and the rector stops in front of me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“I heard what happened.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The seminary is serious, and you do not seem to fit here.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

God has other plans for you.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

My luggage is packed and ready.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Anticipating my fate, I had decided to leave it untouched from my arrival.


Anticipating my fate, I had decided to leave it untouched fromsince my arrival.

I gather my belongings and cross the gate.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

“The rector told me you would be dismissed today.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I came because I felt it was my fault, and it was beyond my right to do what I did.” Deep in my heart, I feel a strange relief and warmth.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It turns out God did have other plans for me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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