meanbowler's avatar
meanbowler

Oct. 21, 2020

0
Shooting Games!

When I was a kid, I played many shooting games on my computer. Some of the games, which I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA. Some people argue that by playing these games, you can become aggressive and violent. However, I never became aggressive and I didn't notice anything negative.

I believe that these games could affect some people negatively. For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might take a gun and emulate a game. Thus, I believe that these games have different effects on different people.

Corrections

Shooting Games!First-Person Shooter

Since shooting games is too broad in meaning, FPS should convey the specific kinds of games you intended to say more accurately.

When I was a kid, I played many shootingFPS games on my computer.

Some of the games, which I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA.

Some people argued that by playing these games, you can becomethese games incites aggressive and violent behavior in a person.

Expressing this sentence in third person sounds more professional.

However, I never became an aggressive person and I didn't notice anythmy behavior being negatively affected.

I believe that these games could affect some people negatively.

For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might decide to take up a gun and emulate a game.

Thus, I believe that these games have different effects on different people.

meanbowler's avatar
meanbowler

Oct. 22, 2020

0

Thanks a lot! Your corrections would help me to write a text in a more advanced manner.

Shooting Games!

When I was a kid, I played many shooting games on my computer.

Some of the games, which that I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA.

Some people argue that by playing these games, you can become aggressive and violent.

However, I never became aggressive and I didn't notice anything negative side effects.

I believe that these games could affect some people negatively.

Another way to state this would be, "I believe that these games can affect some people negatively". You can also put "negatively" in front of "affect" instead, but this is totally optional.

For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might take a gun and emulate a gamecopy the game in the real world.

Feedback

Great Job! Just a few corrections! I completely agree that these kinds of games can affect people in different ways.

meanbowler's avatar
meanbowler

Oct. 22, 2020

0

I appreciate your help. Your explanations are also really helpful.

Shooting Games!

When I was a kid, I played many shooting games on my computer.

Some of the games, which that I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA.

https://www.grammar-monster.com/glossary/restrictive_clause.htm

Some people argue that by playing these games, you can become aggressive and violent.

However, I never became aggressive, and I didn't notice anything negative.

independent clauses

I believe that these games could affect some people negatively.

For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might take a gun and emulate a gamcopy a game in real life.

This is correct, but I believe this is more clear.

Thus, I believe that these games have different effects on different people.

Feedback

Very good! All of my corrections are nitpicks but it's still good

meanbowler's avatar
meanbowler

Oct. 22, 2020

0

Wow, thanks a lot for your help. You reminded me of some important grammar.

Thus, I believe that these games have different effects on different people.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Shooting Games!


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Shooting Games!First-Person Shooter

Since shooting games is too broad in meaning, FPS should convey the specific kinds of games you intended to say more accurately.

When I was a kid, I played many shooting games on my computer.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

When I was a kid, I played many shootingFPS games on my computer.

Some of the games, which I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA.


Some of the games, which that I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA.

https://www.grammar-monster.com/glossary/restrictive_clause.htm

Some of the games, which that I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA.

Some of the games, which I played, were IGI, Delta Force, and GTA.

Some people argue that by playing these games, you can become aggressive and violent.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Some people argued that by playing these games, you can becomethese games incites aggressive and violent behavior in a person.

Expressing this sentence in third person sounds more professional.

However, I never became aggressive and I didn't notice anything negative.


However, I never became aggressive, and I didn't notice anything negative.

independent clauses

However, I never became aggressive and I didn't notice anything negative side effects.

However, I never became an aggressive person and I didn't notice anythmy behavior being negatively affected.

I believe that these games could affect some people negatively.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I believe that these games could affect some people negatively.

Another way to state this would be, "I believe that these games can affect some people negatively". You can also put "negatively" in front of "affect" instead, but this is totally optional.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might take a gun and emulate a game.


For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might take a gun and emulate a gamcopy a game in real life.

This is correct, but I believe this is more clear.

For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might take a gun and emulate a gamecopy the game in the real world.

For instance, those who are living in a dysfunctional household might decide to take up a gun and emulate a game.

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