Aug. 6, 2020
Shark-eat-shark world
I randomly choose words, expressions, phrasal verbs etc. from my flash cards and my task is to incorporate them into (a) meaningful sentence(s) or a short story.
SPONDULICKS, MOOLAH, MAKE A BREAK (FOR IT), OFFBEAT, FULL-BLOWN, SCINTILLATING
The investment project was presented by him, the great business shark as he called himself, at the first sight looks offbeat and even suspicious. He proposed start a scientific research that eventually has to be ended up all sorts of wars, conflicts and crises had been occurring during the previous human history.
The main task was to find the answer the question that tortured humankind all along. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
At the beginning not having found many supporters Dr. Wash Brainer started active campaign on TV. Every time he gives speeches his eloquent and scintillating manner attract to him more and more investors, until eventually money starts flow like a river.
For couple months company stocks spike drastically, became the fastest-growing active New-Yolk Stock Exchange have ever seen.
The fairy tale didn’t last long. One day I-don’t-know-what-it-called-illions was withdrawn from all accounts, and the media broken out the news that millions of people were involved in a full-blown fraud.
He made a break for his carefully prepared secret place to one of the offshore country with sunny weather and surrounded by the ocean.
This morning, having lain in a hammock he mumbled a simple song that makes him smiling widely.
Spondulicks or moolah or let just call it money.
It better, it nicer then super sweetest honey.
It flowing, it growing, it never makes me boring.
In a six months after of pushing his luck, hiding, millions spent to cover his tracks, two face plastic surgeries he will be eaten by sharks in a pool when he slip over a sixpence during his usual morning feed.
SPONDULICKSX, MOOLAH, MAKE A BREAK (FOR IT), OFFBEAT, FULL-BLOWN, SCINTILLATING
I've never heard of "Spondulix," a slang term that peaked in usage in 1891.
The investment project was presented by him, the great business shark as he called himself, at the first sight it looksed offbeat and even suspicious.
He proposed start aing scientific research that eventually has to be ended up all sorts ofwould end all the wars, conflicts and crises that had been occurring during the previthroughoust human history.
The main task was to find the answer to the question that had tortured humankind all along.
Whatich came first, the chicken or the egg?
AtIn the beginning not having found many supporters Dr. Wash Brainer started an active campaign on TV.
Every time he giaves speeches his eloquent and scintillating manner attract to himed more and more investors, until eventually his money startwas flowing like a river.
For couple months the company stocks spiked drastically, and became the fastest-growing activcompany the New-Yolk Stock Exchange haved ever seen.
One day I-don’t-know-what-it-called-millions/billions/trillions/quadrillions wasere withdrawn from all accounts, and the media broken out the news that millions of people were involved in a full-blown fraud.
He made a break for his carefully prepared secret place to one of the offshore countryies with sunny weather and surrounded by the ocean.
This morning, having lalying in a hammock he mumbleds a simple song that makes him smilinge widely.
It is better, it is nicer thean superthe sweetest honey.
It is flowing, it is growing, it never makes me boringed.
In a sSix months lafter of, after pushing his luck, hiding, spending millions spent to cover his tracks, two faceial plastic surgeries, he will be eaten by sharks in a pool when he slips overn a sixpence during his usual morning feedmeal.
Aug. 6, 2020
Not bad, remember when writing a story it's best to put everything in the past tense, usually the simple past
Aug. 7, 2020
It is flowing, it is growing, it never makes me boringed.
I tried write a short poem, and as I can see I failed.
I made another attempt...What you think about this variant?
Spondulicks or moolah or let just call it money.
It's better, it's nicer then golden sweetest honey.
It's flowing, and I become a goldsmith.
It's growing, and it I'm falling in love with.
Aug. 7, 2020
In a sSix months lafter of, after pushing his luck, hiding, spending millions spent to cover his tracks, two faceial plastic surgeries, he will be eaten by sharks in a pool when he slips overn a sixpence during his usual morning feedmeal.
In this sentence I meant that he slipped over the sixpence, felt into the pool, and was eaten while he was feeding them.
Aug. 7, 2020
One day I-don’t-know-what-it-called-millions/billions/trillions/quadrillions wasere withdrawn from all accounts, and the media broken out the news that millions of people were involved in a full-blown fraud.
I know all definitions of millions/billions/trillions/quadrillions, but by this "I-don’t-know-what-it-called-illions" made-up word I tried showed that the sum was sooooooo huge that you can't even imagine it.
Aug. 7, 2020
You're write that I should use more Past Tenses. At the same time I'd like to incorporate in my writing vast variety of different tenses as well. Now it's still hard for me to do it correctly.
Shark-eat-sharkDog-eat-dog world
I have never heard the "shark-eat-shark" expression..."dog-eat-dog" is the right way to say it.
SPONDULICKS, MOOLAH, MAKE A BREAK (FOR IT), OFFBEAT, FULL-BLOWN, SCINTILLATING
Just so you know, I have never heard "spondulicks" before. I think it's a pretty old-fashioned term. "Moolah" is also a very casual slang word.
The investment project was presented by him, the great business shark as he called himself, at the first sight looks offbeat and even suspicious.
I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean here. I wonder if it might be more useful to write simpler sentence with more straightforward words.
He proposed start adecided to conduct scientific research that eventually has to be ended upaddressing all sorts of wars, conflicts and crises had been occurring during the previousover the course of human history.
At the beginning, not having found many supporters, Dr. Wash Brainer started actively campaigning on TV.
Every time he giaves speeches, his eloquent and scintillating manner attract to himed more and more investors, until eventually money starts flow like a river.
"Scintillating" seems just a little off in this context, but "eloquent" is a great word to use.
For a couple months, the company stocks spikrose drastically, became – the fastest-growing activthat the New- Yolrk Stock Exchange haved ever seen.
One day I-don’t-know-what-it-called-illions was, millions of dollars were withdrawn from allthe accounts, and the media broken out the news. The news broke that millions of people were involved in a full-blown fraud.
I think your native language is Russian, right? English sentences tend to be shorter than in Russian (that's why I broke this one up into two).
He made a break for his carefully prepared secret place to one of the offshore country with sunny weather and surrounded by the ocean, located in a foreign country on a sunny beach.
This morning, havinge lainy in a hammock he mumbleding a simple song that makes himand smiling widely.
Spondulicks or moolah or let just call it money.
Feedback
This is a really creative story! I was a little confused by the ending - it seemed like the words you chose from your flashcards were pretty unusual, ones that I (as a native speaker) never use or have even heard. I wonder if it might be better to stick with more common words and focus on grammar? I hope my comments were helpful.
Aug. 7, 2020
Shark-eat-sharkDog-eat-dog world
I know the expression "dog-eat-dog", but as you might notice that in the beginning of story he called himself as "great business shark". The paradox is that at the end of the story he was eaten by sharks in his own pool. "Shark-eat-shark world" is my interpretation of "dog-eat-dog world" expression.
Aug. 7, 2020
For a couple months, the company stocks spikrose drastically, became – the fastest-growing activthat the New- Yolrk Stock Exchange haved ever seen.
I used New-Yolk purposely because you might see that the crucial question for this society that caused all wars, conflicts and crises was-" Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Aug. 7, 2020
One day I-don’t-know-what-it-called-illions was, millions of dollars were withdrawn from allthe accounts, and the media broken out the news. The news broke that millions of people were involved in a full-blown fraud.
You're right that in Russian we use more longer and complex sentences particularly in fiction.
Aug. 7, 2020
f you're a language learner as I am you've might come across with the phenomenon, when you start learning a new word you start to notice its more and more often.
That's why my flash cards full of absolutely offbeat words from English speaking world not only geographically but also from different time periods. It's might sound strange and not efficient, but it works for me.
Your corrections were pretty straightforward. I try to be more creative.
As you advised me, I'll definitely try to pay more attention to grammar in my writing exercises.
Thank you.
Aug. 16, 2020
Ahh I see. That makes sense - I know everyone has a different learning style. I can see some of the puns now that you explain them. I think we may have different tastes in humor ;) I hope my suggestions were helpful.
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Shark-eat-shark world
I have never heard the "shark-eat-shark" expression..."dog-eat-dog" is the right way to say it. |
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I randomly choose words, expressions, phrasal verbs etc. |
|
from my flash cards and my task is to incorporate them into (a) meaningful sentence(s) or a short story. |
|
SPONDULICKS, MOOLAH, MAKE A BREAK (FOR IT), OFFBEAT, FULL-BLOWN, SCINTILLATING SPONDULICKS, MOOLAH, MAKE A BREAK (FOR IT), OFFBEAT, FULL-BLOWN, SCINTILLATING Just so you know, I have never heard "spondulicks" before. I think it's a pretty old-fashioned term. "Moolah" is also a very casual slang word. SPONDULI I've never heard of "Spondulix," a slang term that peaked in usage in 1891. |
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The investment project was presented by him, the great business shark as he called himself, at the first sight looks offbeat and even suspicious. The investment project was presented by him, the great business shark as he called himself, at the first sight looks offbeat and even suspicious. I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean here. I wonder if it might be more useful to write simpler sentence with more straightforward words. The investment project was presented by him, the great business shark as he called himself, at |
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He proposed start a scientific research that eventually has to be ended up all sorts of wars, conflicts and crises had been occurring during the previous human history. He He proposed start |
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The main task was to find the answer the question that tortured humankind all along. The main task was to find the answer to the question that had tortured humankind all along. |
|
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Wh |
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At the beginning not having found many supporters Dr. Wash Brainer started active campaign on TV. At the beginning, not having found many supporters, Dr. Wash Brainer started actively campaigning on TV.
|
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Every time he gives speeches his eloquent and scintillating manner attract to him more and more investors, until eventually money starts flow like a river. Every time he g "Scintillating" seems just a little off in this context, but "eloquent" is a great word to use. Every time he g |
|
For couple months company stocks spike drastically, became the fastest-growing active New-Yolk Stock Exchange have ever seen. For a couple months, the company stocks For couple months the company stock |
|
The fairy tale didn’t last long. |
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One day I-don’t-know-what-it-called-illions was withdrawn from all accounts, and the media broken out the news that millions of people were involved in a full-blown fraud. One day I think your native language is Russian, right? English sentences tend to be shorter than in Russian (that's why I broke this one up into two). One day |
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He made a break for his carefully prepared secret place to one of the offshore country with sunny weather and surrounded by the ocean. He made a break for his carefully prepared secret place He made a break for his carefully prepared secret place to one of the offshore countr |
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This morning, having lain in a hammock he mumbled a simple song that makes him smiling widely. This morning, h This morning, |
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Spondulicks or moolah or let just call it money.
|
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It better, it nicer then super sweetest honey. It is better, it is nicer th |
|
It flowing, it growing, it never makes me boring. It is flowing, it is growing, it never makes me bor |
|
In a six months after of pushing his luck, hiding, millions spent to cover his tracks, two face plastic surgeries he will be eaten by sharks in a pool when he slip over a sixpence during his usual morning feed.
|
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